The Mom Crowd

If you have been thinking about switching Pediatricians, then you should do it! Switching Pediatricians can be a hassle and cost money, but it can be worth it. Amelia wrote about switching Ob/Gyns, but what about your children’s doctor?

My family recently switched Pediatricians 6 days after my second baby was born. Our first doctor, “Dr. Passive Aggressive” is a competent physician and is a part of a large pediatric group.  I wrote about how to choose a Pediatrician and followed a lot of those guidelines. We interviewed the doctor, the office is open on Saturdays, there is a separate area for sick kids, and she seemed nice enough.

Our opinion of Dr. Passive Aggressive started to change when we told her that we were having our second at a Birth Center and asked her what her protocol would be after the birth.  She was not familiar with birth centers or home births at all. She asked what would happen in the case of an emergency and how the baby is taken care of after the birth. She was not satisfied with my answers and gave me a stern warning “that it only takes a few seconds for a baby to code.” We didn’t really finish the conversation, because she just left the room. This should have been my first clue.

My husband left the conversation with a lot of fear and doubt. I talked with Amelia about it and we chalked it up to that she wasn’t familiar with Birth Centers. I also spoke with my Midwife and she calmed our fears and explained that they do a complete checklist with newborns.

We brought my son into Dr. Passive Aggressive’s office one day after he was born, per her protocol. During that appointment she made many passive aggressive statements like, “I usually prefer to do circumcisions in the hospital.” “Did they do a hearing test? You usually are not allowed to leave the hospital without Test XYZ.” She picked apart the checklist from the birth center. She made us feel like it was really inconveniencing her to do things outside of the hospital. She was negative about the entire experience, even though my son was perfectly healthy and I was showered and dressed and sitting in her office 24 hours after I gave birth. She never even said, “Congratulations.”

My husband and I decided to switch Pediatricians. Dr. Passive Aggressive was competent, but clearly not inline with our birthing philosophy. We decided that we shouldn’t feel stupid or belittled when we left a doctor’s office.

We paid $35 dollars to get copies of our children’s records and went to a new Pediatrician across the street. The new doctor, Dr. Nice, and the new office has been great. Dr. Nice has never made us feel bad for waiting to do the circumcision and hearing test. She also doesn’t make us feel stupid when we ask questions. The new office also really appreciated the detailed newborn checklist from the birth center. The front desk is warm and friendly. My daughter has been ill and they called yesterday to check on her. I have never had a doctor do that. A nice bonus is that my daughter loves to play in their waiting room. I never knew that the grass really was greener on the other side.

There are many reasons to switch doctors:

• You move and need to find a doctor closer to you.
• You aren’t in agreement with how they are treating your child’s illness.
• You feel like you have to lie about your parenting style (like attachment parenting), because you know they don’t agree with you.
• The front office does not provide good customer service.
• It is difficult to make appointments.
• It is difficult to speak with a nurse when you have a question.
• You don’t feel comfortable asking the doctor questions.

Have you ever switched Pediatricians? If so, why did you?

One of every mother’s worst fears is watching their child choke or stop breathing.  That is definitely on my top three list of worries.  This evening, as I was cutting up grapes for my son, I was thinking about the choking threat grapes pose and how unprepared for a choking situation I feel.  I’ve been CPR and First Aid certified a few times in my life, but the most recent class I’ve attended was four and a half years and three children ago.  I certainly could use a refresher course on what to do in a choking situation and am probably not the only mom out there who is not CPR confident.  One thing I do feel confident about is that the best way to stop a child from choking is to prevent it from ever happening.  The American Pediatrics Association has a whole list of the top food and nonfood choking hazards and ways to prevent your child from choking that I think every parent needs to read.

That being said, not all emergencies are preventable. However simple training in CPR and First Aid can be the difference between a scary event and a tragedy and the training is not difficult to obtain.  Most cities or hospitals offer free classes parents and babysitters can take. I found some online instructional videos on what to do if your infant or toddler is choking.  Hopefully, these videos will inspire you to seek out a children’s CPR and First Aid class near you so that you can be prepared in case of an emergency.

Infant Choking Part One (click on the links to parts 2 and 3 below)

• Infant Choking Part Two
• Infant Choking Part Three

Toddler Choking Part One (click on the link to part 2 below)

• Toddler Choking Part Two

Have you gone through children’s CPR/First Aid training as a mother or mother-to-be?  Do you feel confident that you could perform CPR on your child or handle a choking situation with your child if necessary?

When I had my daughter I knew I would be traveling to the Philippines 7 months later and breastfeeding would be the easiest way to travel with her. So in those first few months I had to become proficient at breastfeeding in public places, because I didn’t know where I would be when I had to nurse Annabelle.

I am an incredibly modest person and I didn’t necessarily want to nurse in front of other men on a mission trip, but I had to learn how to nurse modestly. After the research I had done, I was surprised to find breastfeeding really common in the Philippines and some women would nurse while sitting in the church sanctuary. I wasn’t quite that brave.

Here is what I learned about nursing in public in the 14 months I nursed my daughter.

1. Be Confident. If you aren’t ashamed, then every one else will pick up on that vibe and they won’t be weirded out either. Besides, there is nothing to be ashamed about anyway!  I never made a big deal about it and I tried to be as discreet as possible.

2. Wear the right clothes. I never wanted to show my tummy gleaming with silvery lines on my stomach, so I would strategically wear clothes that I wouldn’t have to pull up my shirt. I would often wear a nursing bra or a nursing camisole under a shirt I could button down or had a large V-neck. Or I would wear a nursing camisole under a t-shirt and I could lift up the t-shirt without exposing my belly.

3. Use a nursing cover. I don’t think I ever nursed in public without one. I always felt confident that I was covered up and if my boob was out no one could see it. I used a cover that had a wire on top that bent to create a u-shape that I could look down into and make sure that my baby was doing alright. I bought mine here, but you can also buy some beautiful ones at Tot-to-Go.

4. Find a chair in a nursing room, restroom, or a changing room while traveling around town. I would sometimes plan my outings around Babies R Us, because they have a comfortable nursing room with a rocking chair. No one ever noticed that I wouldn’t buy anything. I would also scope out and make mental notes of restrooms that had a chair or couch in the ladies room. Sometimes I would just find an out of the way bench or nursed in the car. I think the more I nursed the more bold I became about where I nursed.

5. Practice! It took me a few times to practice holding my baby, putting the nursing cover on, and getting my boob out of my clothes. I would practice at parties or at homes with men around, so I could become more comfortable with it. I remember practicing at Ikea and it was one of the first times I had used my cover and I flashed my boob to Ikea somehow in the process.  I don’t think anyone cared.

Here is a very blurry photo of me nursing on a Jeepney…

…with about 20 other people on board. I think this is the weirdest place I ever nursed.

Need more information? Check out this awesome video by Susanne Carvin. I watched it when I first started nursing and I found it really helpful!

Did you (do you) nurse in public? Are you shy about it or was it not a big deal? Where is the weirdest place you ever nursed?

Well, maybe not everybody, but more and more families today are learning all about Early Childhood Intervention!  I entered the world of developmental therapy as soon as my first child came home from the hospital because she had Down syndrome and was 100% tube fed.  In my circle of friends with children with Down syndrome, therapy has been part of our normal day-to-day routine since our children’s birth.  However, in my circle of friends who have healthy, typical children, developmental delays are far from uncommon and I have watched many friends of typical children enter the world of therapy I once thought was isolated to only children with “special needs.”  One of the biggest reasons for this is people are recognizing the advantages of treating developmental delays early.

While it’s not uncommon for a child in any sandbox across the United States to be receiving some form of early intervention, nobody wants their child to have a developmental delay in any area.  Watching your child achieve developmental milestones is probably one of the most rewarding things about parenting!  When your child isn’t doing something that most of his peers are doing, it can be incredibly discouraging. It’s important to remember that typically, a delay in developmental milestones DOES NOT mean your child is not going to catch up!  Most children who receive early intervention services catch up to their peers in their area of difficulty and no one knows the difference from that point on!

If your child does have a diagnosis that is going to stick with him or her long-term, you are far from the end of the world!  I have a child who will always be behind her peers in most areas of development, however we wouldn’t change anything about her.  In fact, she has brought so much joy and delight to our family, that we are adopting another child with Down syndrome .   It took some adjustments because of continuous therapy, but we very much have a life outside of developmental therapy!

So, what exactly is Early Intervention?

• Early Intervention (sometimes called Early Childhood Intervention) was created by the United States Congress is 1986 to provide services for infants and toddlers under the age of 3 who have a developmental delay of any kind or a disability.

What services does Early Intervention provide?

• Physical Therapy {PT} – for children with gross motor delays {late sitting, late crawlers, late walkers, etc…}
• Occupation Therapy {OT} – for children with sensory issues, fine motor delays, feeding difficulty, cognitive delay, or a delay in social or emotional skills. {In very young infants, there is sometimes an overlap between OT and PT, so an Occupational Therapist may also treat some gross motor delays.}
• Speech Therapy {ST} – for children who are late to speak or have feeding difficulties
• Other services early intervention provides: Family education and counseling, Assistive technology devices and services, Audiology testing and services, Nursing services, Nutrition services, Psychological services, Service coordination, Social worker services, Vision evaluation and services, and some provide respite care for families!

What if my child is over 3 years old?

• If your child is 3 years old or older, they do not qualify for your state’s early intervention program.  However, they do qualify for services through your public school system!  Contact your school district if you suspect a delay in any area of your child’s development after they turn three years old.

Getting started

• If you think your child is taking a little too long in an area of their development, you can make either contact your child’s physician or you can contact your local early intervention provider.  You do not need your physician to refer your child for services.  You can find your local provider by going to your state’s website.  Here is Texas’ listing of early childhood intervention providers.  If you have trouble finding your early intervention provider, let me know and I will be happy to help!
• After you or your physician calls to make a referral, your early intervention provider will schedule a visit to your home to evaluate your child and determine if they are eligible for services.  If your child is determined to have a delay, he or she will start receiving services shortly after the  evaluation.  That simple!
• Remember that every child develops at a different rate and do not accomplish milestones at exactly the same rate.  If you have questions on whether your child is developing at an appropriate pace, contact your child’s pediatrician or your early intervention provider.

Here’s some more links for you!

• Developmental Milestones – Is This Typical?
• Bright Tots Early Childhood Intervention Information 
• Wrightslaw: Early Intervention and IDEA (Wrightslaw is the go-to source for what the law says about what services children with delays are entitled to receive.)

Do you know anyone whose child is receiving services from Early Intervention?  Has your child received services from Early Intervention?  Do you have any other experience with Early Intervention? 

• PS: In the spirit of National Adoption Month, I want to sneak this article in here (even though it has nothing to do with the topic at hand!) This article talks about the tax credit the IRS provides adopting families to help make adoption more affordable.  Most people don’t know that they can receive up to an $11,000 dollar for dollar reimbursement for their adoption expenses!!

Ack!  For about a month now, Lucy has perpetually had her fingers in her mouth.  I trim her nails about every two weeks, but lately there’s been nothing there for me to trim! 

I grew up hearing, “Dawn, stop biting your nails.”  (That, and, “Dawn, stop cracking your knuckles.”)  If you’re like me, that’s like being asked to stop breathing – it’s just a nervous habit!  I still do both of those things, but I’m much better about nailbiting than I used to be.

Now I’m hearing myself say the same things repeatedly: “Lucy, please take your finger out of your mouth.”  Sometimes she obeys, sometimes she doesn’t.  When I catch her doing it in the rear-view mirror, she leans over so I can’t see her, and then keeps doing it.  Oh, that savvy little girl!

 I grew up knowing about a bitter formula that could be put on kids’ nails to deter them from thumbsucking or nailbiting.  Not Tabasco sauce; there’s something different that I’m thinking of.  Anyone know what it is?  I’d rather find out here than pay to ask my doctor this simple question.

How have you dealt with your child’s finger-chewing habits?  Any other strategies I should know about?  Thanks for your help!