The Mom Crowd

Many of us don’t have time to read the paper or watch the news. (Most of it is fear-mongering anyway, but that is an entirely different story.) So I am sharing some headlines that have been in the news lately that may be of interest of interest to us moms. Starting off with one of my most favorite foods on the planet, cereal. Seriously, do you remember that episode of Seinfeld with Janeane Garofalo where she even orders cereal at a restaurant and eats it for lunch? I am close to loving cereal that much.

• Consumer Reports Rates 27 Different Kids Cereal – Based on the cereal’s fiber, sugar, calories, and nutritional content in a serving the top four cereals are plain Cheerios, Kix, Life, and Honey Nut Cheerios (yay!). The worst cereals are Post’s Golden Crisp and Kellogg’s Honey Smacks, Apple Jacks, Fruit Loops, Cap’n Crunch, and Pops. You have to be a member of Consumer Reports to get the full report, but WebMD does a good job summarizes the report.

• New Blood Tests During Early Pregnancy for Down syndrome – Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences came out with a report yesterday from a few doctors who are testing the pregnant mother’s blood, because some of the fetus’ blood ends up in the mother’s blood. They are looking for extra chromosomes usually found in Down syndrome, Edward syndrome, Patau syndrome. They are hoping that their findings will help women be tested as early as 5 weeks and lessen the need for more invasive tests that could lead to miscarriages. For me, I can see the need for this, but it doesn’t effect me. I just recently turned down all those tests in my own pregnancy. I am going to have the baby either way. My fear is that almost 9o% of women diagnosed with a fetus with Down syndrome abort the baby. When they do get the DS confirmation and abort, the baby is pretty far along. So if this test does become common and women find out at 5 weeks that their baby has Down syndrome will the abortion rate rise or fall?

• Letting Your Newborn Sleep With a Fan On May Reduce the Risk of SIDS – According to the report, “Young infants who sleep in bedrooms with fans have a lower risk of sudden infant death syndrome than babies who sleep in less well-ventilated rooms, new research shows. Investigators concluded that sleeping with a fan lowers SIDS risk by more than 70%.” The article says that a fan is not a substitute for placing them on their backs. The reports are interesting, because I know SIDS was a fear of mine and I am up for anything I can do reduce the risk. I am not sure I will be militant about this for my next little one, but it is something to consider.

• More Controversy over Cough and Cold Meds for Children – We have already covered previous FDA findings here and here. Now the New York Times is reporting, “manufacturers of pediatric cough and cold medicines announced Tuesday that they would voluntarily change their products’ labels to say that they should not be used in children under the age of 4.” The FDA is considering taking some cough and cold medications off the shelves and making them available by prescription. However, none of this would actually take place for a few years if it did happen. The FDA also fears that adults will then give their children medication meant for adults instead and over medicating them. My daughter is still under 2, so I haven’t used any of them on her. I am more of a Tylenol and home remedy kind of mom.

What is your favorite cereal? Would you start using a fan now for reduce the risk of SIDS? Has the news about cough and cold medications changed your mind about using them? Or do you find that they work?

One of our readers recently sent us this question about sending her son for an overnight stay with his father.

Hi, I wonder if anyone can give me any advice. I separated from my son’s father when I was in early pregnancy. He has had a little contact with him, one visit once a week sometimes once a fortnight. He is now asking for my son to stay with him every other weekend. Naturally at the moment I am planning on telling him that he needs to get more used to his father being around before I can even consider it but I’m probably being really selfish and I don’t want him to go to stay there at all. I don’t think his father will be able to cope and he lives an hour or so away. I’m petrified something bad will happen. Can anyone relieve my fears and give me advice on how to deal with it and how to get my son used to his father being around? I just don’t know what to say.

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Here is my sister-in-law’s, Denise, response to the question. I asked Denise to write up a response, because I know that she has been in that same situation. I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of fears I would have sending my little one off and establishing a new kind of relationship.

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When my ex-husband decided he wanted a divorce I was shocked. My first reaction was that he would never see our daughter again. That was obviously not a rational thought. Whatever happened between us she was still ‘our’ child, he had not done anything illegal, and he wanted to be in her life.

Our split happened when she was 2 1/2. She was not ready for an overnight visit at that age. It began with him taking her for 6 hour visits at a time, usually on Saturdays. The next step was a one night visit. Progressively we made it to a Friday-Sunday visit.

Before any of that could happen he and I sat down to discuss ground rules beyond the divorce decree. Things like where and when he would pick her up and drop her off.  I wanted consistency.
The one thing that helped me get through all of this has been remembering that she is not just my child. Even thought he had wronged me, I couldn’t penalize our daughter for. She needed/wanted to see her father on a regular basis. When we sat down I asked him to make the decision to either be in her life or not. I told him he couldn’t do it half way, that would not be fair to her. Another important issue was where he stayed, it needed to be kid friendly and safe.

After all of that was settled and she went with him for the first time I had to deal with my emotions. The first few times I was terrified, I cried, and I let my imagination get away from me. What I did the next time was plan things for myself, things that kept my mind busy.
All of this seems to have worked. I have nothing more than a working relationship with her father but she is a well adjusted teenager now. She knows that things did not work out between us  but she also knows that both of us lover her fully.

Things have not always been perfect between her father and I. There were many time when we had discussions abot her care but they were just discussions. We made sure not to have them in front of her. I worked very hard not to let my personal feelings for him get in the way.
I know that this answer is long winded and may not fit your personal situation perfectly but hopefully you can take something away that will help you!

Have any of you been in this situation? How did you handle it? 

We have been having some drama with our cat, Samuel, recently. It all began when he peed in our friend’s car seat. I even wrote about it here. Since then about once a week we would something else he peed on – a blanket, t-shirt, an empty plastic toy bin on floor. The last straw was when he peed in Annabelle’s toy basket in her toy corner. In an emotional response my husband threw him out the back door. I didn’t see him for at least two days.

On the third day we decided to take him to the vet and get him checked out and make sure that it wasn’t an infection or anything. I saw him on day four and brought him inside. About three hours later I was on the phone with the vet and I heard Annabelle scream like I have never heard her scream before. I immediately got off the phone and found that she was messing with the cats and Samuel scratched her. He scratched her inside her left ear and down her cheek. Samuel lost his second chance.

We took both Samuel and Elizabeth to the vet and they are both fine. We got them updated on their shots. The vet agreed that it was a behavioral problem. Last night I posted them on Craigslist. Hopefully I can find them a home without young children. If not, then our only other option is to find a no-kill shelter that will take them.

We never took the pets and a new baby class. Maybe I would have learned something. What I know is that our cat doesn’t like having a toddler in the house messing with him. With a second baby on the way we can’t take any chances. We have had our cats for 5 years and love them. They used to be my babies, until Annabelle came home. It was a tough decision to find them new homes, but in the end we have to do what is best for our family.

Have you ever had a problem with your pets and your children getting along? Have you had to find a new home for your pet when you brought your baby home?

UPDATE:

In the end Samuel scratched our daughter at least twice. We honestly couldn’t trust him with her and her safety is important to us. I feel that it would be impossible to keep them separate at all times. I don’t feel like Annabelle was doing much to entice the scratching. After two people were interested in looking at the cats, but never showed, we placed them back on Craigslist. A lady who only wanted Samuel came and adopted him. He has the most perfect home now. Her last cat just passed away last month. She lives by herself in a huge house and I know that Samuel is going to be spoiled beyond measure.

I did have hard time letting him go. I was very sad after he left, but I prayed about it. I feel like God told me that he sent the lady and that Samuel is fine now. In the end I realized that Samuel wasn’t acting like his usual laid back and loving self. Now I hope without a baby bugging him, he is more relaxed and happy.

We still have his sister, Elizabeth. My husband caved in and let me keep her. She isn’t pee’ing or scratching Annabelle. I think it is much easier to only care for one cat.

Snack time, my favorite. I don’t know about you, but my idea of a favorite snack is a piece of chocolate cake with a caramel machiato from Starbucks. If I ate that everyday I would be in big trouble since my clothes would not fit me anymore! Of course serving chocolate cake and a highly caffienated beverage is not really an option for my 3 children. So, this is more for my own inspiration because I need some new ideas. And because I thought that several heads working together to better snack time for all of our growing and energetic children would be a benefit to all of us!

My (just turned!) 5 year old and 3 year old don’t get snacks very often. If they do it is usually in the morning time between breakfast and lunch. I notice that they are hungrier if they don’t eat any protein for breakfast so I’ll give them a snack. I cut out an afternoon snack a little over a year ago because I noticed that they weren’t eating much of dinner– which was healthier and covered a broader spectrum of food groups. When I cut out the afternoon snack they would eat a healthier dinner. Now my 11 month old is needing a snack in the afternoon and I want to make sure I plan ahead about what kind of foods to offer him. I know that if my other 2 see the baby eating they will start drooling for some too. So, either I will need to decide on a very small portion of snackage for them or tell them they have to wait for dinner. If I plan ahead enough then I can have the same healthy snack available for them in the morning.

In my ideal world, snacks are made from whole grain, whole foods with NO high fructose corn syrup. (I am avoiding a temptation to go off on a ***HFCS tangent….I mean seriously, WHEN will companies stop putting that terrible for you filler in their foods?!) That means that homemade snacks are probably the best option but not always realistic when life gets busy. Grabbing Goldfish and Cheerios are so easy and aren’t bad for you either. But I get tired of serving Goldfish, Cheerios, and grapes for a snack.

When Ewan was little I was great at having a huge variety of snacks available for him so I am going back to my books and magazines and pulling out some of the good ideas.

For the finger food eater (10+ months):

• Avacado chunks
• Cheese chunks
• Soft cooked veges (I like using a mixed vege frozen mix)
• Tofu chunks
• Scrambled egg yolk (for younger than 12 months)
• Hard boiled egg chunks
• Beans, lentils
• Sweet potato chunks
• Whole wheat pasta in small pieces (mix with light ricotta cheese for a protein boost)
• Small pieces of fruit (I just got a giant bag of frozen fruit with cantaloupe, grapes, peaches etc. in it and am using that for snacks)
• Whole grain/wheat pieces of bread, bagels, pancakes, or crackers
• Cottage cheese (totally messy but finger-foodalicious)

For toddlers on up:

Toddlers can eat more complicated food textures and combinations. I used to make muffins, pancakes, and whole grain cornmeal pancakes and freeze them. Then I could pull out one at a time and serve it.

• Hummus with veggie strips or pretzels (cucumbers, bell peppers, zucchini, carrots)
• Homemade granola (with or without plain yogurt)
• Small piece of whole grain/wheat toast with almond butter and fresh berries
• Whole wheat blueberry pancake
• Whole wheat banana muffins
• Apple slices with Almond or Sunflower butter
• Yogurt parfait with plain yogurt, fresh fruit, and granola
• Apple-Oat Pancakes (recipe below)
• Banana johnnycakes (recipe below)

Good Whole Food Snack Sources:

Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron (Tons of great super healthy snacks and meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner)

Simply Natural Baby Food by Cathe Olson

Apple-Oat Pancakes from Simply Natural Baby Food

Soy, rice, or almond milk can be used if baby is not drinking cow’s milk.

• 1 3/4 c. rolled oats
• 1/4 c. almonds
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
• 2 eggs (or 4 egg yolks if baby isn’t eating egg whites)
• 1 1/3 c. milk (dairy or non-dairy)
• 1 apple grated

Grind oats and nuts to powder in a blender or food processor. Pour oat mixture into a large mixing bowl an stir in baking powder and cinnamon. Beat eggs and milk together. Grate apple in food processor or by hand. Add the egg mixture and apple to oats. Stir until just mixed. Let batter sit 5 minutes while griddle heats. Bake pancakes on a lightly oiled griddle or skillet over med. heat. Use approx. 1/4 cup batter for each pancake. Cook for 5 minutes. Turn when top is bubbly and edges are starting to dry. Cook for 3 to 5 minutes. Yield: 12 pancakes

Banana Johnnycakes from Simply Natural Baby Food

• 1 c. cornmeal
• pinch of sea salt
• 1 1/4 c. boiling water
• 2 tsp molasses or honey
• 1 banana, peeled and sliced

Place cornmeal and salt in heat-proofing mixing bowl. Whisk in boiling water and sweetener. Add bananas and stir gently. If batter is too thick, add a little water or milk. Bake cakes on a lightly oiled griddle or skillet over med. heat. Use approx 1/8 cup batter for each cake. Cook 5 minutes. Turn when edges begin to dry. Do not turn prematurely. Cook 3 to 5 more minutes. Remove from pan. Keep in warm oven until ready to serve. Yield: 10 pancakes

So, what yumm-i-o snacks do you feed your kids?

***We live by an incredibly busy railroad and we see train car after train car with the label High Fructose Corn Syrup on it. I mean a row of 25 of them! It is fascinating and gross at the same time. It makes me wonder how much of HFCS I have eaten over the course of my lifetime and how much of one of those cars it would fill. Blech!

I recently hired two regular sitters for my kids when the fall semester starts up. We’ve always relied on family members to babysit for us, so this will be the first time we are trusting our children in the hands of non-family. This will also be the first time that I am regularly away from my children. Due to this upcoming change, I put together a handbook for our babysitters. When I was a babysitter, I would have LOVED it if my families left me with a handbook like this! I babysat for many years as a teenager and it was very hard to remember all of the last minute instructions parents left me as they were kissing their children goodbye. I can’t expect that a babysitter is going to remember when bedtime is, what to feed them for dinner, whether they need to bathe Susie first or give her a bottle first, etc…

I opened up my word processor and got to typing! For those of you who are crafty, I could totally see the handbook being done in a cute scrapbook style!  Mine is in a cheap, navy blue folder with prongs.  Some of this may be excessive, however I would rather be over-prepared than under-prepared.

So, what’s in my handbook?

Contact information

• Our full names
• Our home address and phone number
• Our cell phone numbers and my husband’s work phone number
• Emergency contact (Grandma) home/cell/work numbers

Rules

• I listed my children’s basic no-no’s (climbing on table, hitting each other, etc…)
• I gave basic household rules (no shoes on in our house, our policy on television, etc…)
• I gave the babysitter basic rules as well (keep stair gate and bathroom doors shut at all times, no smoking, guidelines on having visitors over, etc…)

Special instructions

• Potty/Diaper instructions-I listed where diapering materials are kept and instructions on what to do with dirty diapers. I also gave instructions on where the kids are at in potty training and instructions on when to let them sit on the potty.
• Outdoor instructions-I gave instructions on outdoor play. I asked that the sitter check for fire ants and check with me before hand if they wanted to play in the pool. I mentioned where the wagon is kept and other quick notes about outdoor play.
• Mealtime instructions-I noted where mealtime accessories are kept and a few notes about mealtime with my children.
• Bedtime instructions-I mentioned their nap schedule and bedtime routine. I most importantly noted that Darah must have her lovey for bedtime to be successful!
• Discipline instructions-I explained our discipline strategy with our children, located time-out and the buzzer for them, and explained which offenses deserved a time-out. I also explained redirection when time-out was over and what I expected from each child after time out (apology, hug, etc…)

List of foods

• I basically just listed the foods my children will eat so they don’t have to guess what to feed them if they need a meal or a snack.

Medical information

• I gave a complete list of all of our medical providers and specialists, including their addresses and phone numbers. This has been a handy list for myself!
• I typed up each child’s full name and their birthday and indicated if they have allergies and typed up the medications they are on. I also typed up their health issues, including a list of all surgeries and medical procedures and dates.
• Health insurance information, including copies of our insurance cards.
• Darah and Connor both carry a special card indicating their need for an antibiotic in case of an emergency due to their heart defects. I copied these for our babysitters.

More resources for creating a babysitter handbook:

Children’s Safety Zone Guide for Babysitters

Checklist for Preparing a New Babysitter

A Babysitter’s Guide to Babysitting for a child with diabetes

Printable Babysitter Checklist

What else would be beneficial in a babysitter handbook?