The Mom Crowd

Here is Episode 4 of The Mom Crowd Show! McKenna and I filmed it right after we finished running a 5K. So you get to see us in all our sweaty glory. Thankfully you can’t smell us. I also got to innterview my friend, Kristin, who is a mom of two boys and has lost 90 pounds! Watch the video and hear how she did it!

SHOW NOTES

The Mom Crowd Show Ep #4: Running a 5K and Kristin’s 90 Pound Weight Loss Story

McKenna and Amanda complete a 5K and talk about the race. Amanda interviews Kristin about her amazing story of losing 90 pounds by getting up and running every morning. Finally, we share about our webpicks: Runnersworld.com and Mapmyrun.com.

Posts:

McKenna’s First 5K Race

Dawn’s First 5K Race

Friends:

Kristin

Web Picks:

Runner’s World

Map My Run

McKenna and I had an opportunity to meet Liza Hunter-Galvan this weekend at our local 5K race. Liza is 36, a mother of four, and will be representing New Zealand in the 2008 Olympics in the marathon.

Liza was quick to point out her kids to us while we were chatting with her. During the 5K race I saw her complete the course and then run the course backwards to cheer on her daughters. You could tell that she is very proud of her kids. What we didn’t know when we spoke with Liza is that her daughter, Amber, gives her an incredible inspiration to run. Amber was severely injured when the family was involved in a car crash and she can not remember a lot of the past. According the news story Liza is hoping that the her participation in the 2008 Olympics will trigger Amber’s memories of her competing in the 2004 Olympics.

Here is the full news story about Liza and Amber:

Here is McKenna’s interview with Liza:

I like to watch a lot of t.v. (no shock there).  Some of my favorite television shows are about families, so I get to see a lot of unique mother-child relationships play out.   And though you may think of Donna Reed or Marion Cunningham when you think “t.v. mom”, I have no Nick-at-Nite classics on my list.  Go figure.

My favorite four t.v. moms, in no particular order:

• Elyse Keaton, Family Ties (played by Meredith Baxter-Birney).  I grew up with the Keatons, and I loved Michael J. Fox as much as the next girl.  Looking back at clips of it now, I am taken aback at how simple and low-key it was – yet it still makes me laugh.  The show was consistently funny and well-made.  You just don’t see them on t.v. like this anymore.  Anyway, Elyse Keaton is a normal working mom, with wit, a sense of responsibility, and an easy relatability with all of her kids.  I like Elyse because she’s just so normal, which is refreshing in an ironic sort of way.  Here’s the first bit of the show’s pilot episode, dating all the way back to 1982.  I was six! 

•  Norma Arnold, The Wonder Years (played by Alley Mills).  Another show that I grew up with, The Wonder Years is an all-time classic.  Norma was a great, compassionate mom.  Most of the time, we saw her making dinner for the family, trying to keep the peace between Kevin & Wayne (her two sons), or between Karen & Jack (her somewhat rebellious daughter and her hardworking husband).  Every now and then, an episode would focus on her, which gave us a new perspective of who she was.   I distantly recall that she enjoyed sneaking away every now and then just to do something for herself, like take a pottery class.  We often saw the family overlook her or take her for granted.  I like Norma because she is the classic American housewife who only occasionally reveals subtle layers of wistfulness and frustration. Here’s a clip from an episode when Norma took a job as a secretary at Kevin’s school.  Lots of great stuff in this, what the show did best, in fact: highlight Kevin’s selfish tendencies and teach him important lessons about the people in his life.

• Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights (played by Connie Britton).  I wrote about this great mom character a couple of months ago, and my opinion of her has not changed; therefore, she gets a spot on the list.  Season two added another baby to Tami’s busy world; it was refreshing to see such a realistic portrayal of a stressed-out mom.  Summer is a great time to check this show out on nbc.com; it needs more viewers!

• Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls (played by Lauren Graham).  No modern t.v. mom list would be complete without Lorelai.  The greatest thing about her is not her excellent wardrobe, her quick-wittedness, or even the way she cares for her daughter Rory.  What Lorelai’s character does best is show us that she makes mistakes.  A lot of them.  There have been lots of times I wanted to shout at Lorelai through the t.v. screen, saying, “Be honest, you fool!”  or “Stop acting like such a baby!” It’s a good thing the writers made her as flawed as she was, or she’d be a completely unrealistic mom character, in my opinion.  No mom is that pretty and cool, no matter how hard they try, but it’s probably safe to say there are plenty of immature, self-centered moms gracing our fallen world.  Despite her frequent bouts of immaturity, though, wouldn’t we all want to get some coffee with her at Luke’s?  I’d love to see if I could keep up with her in one of those quick, back & forth conversations she seems to have with everyone.  I like watching Lorelai because she’s just plain entertaining.

Wanna dig deeper?

• Test your t.v. mom knowledge with Biography.com’s quiz!
• msnbc’s 5Top: The Best TV Moms
• A list of the 10 Worst TV Moms, just for good measure

What do you think?  Do you agree with the choices on any of these lists?  Who would you add as your favorite t.v. mom? 

I recently watched a documentary called Raising Cain which is about some of the unique needs and issues that boys face today. It has some good insights in it-especially in understanding why boys seem to have more trouble in school than girls do. The documentary looks into the emotional needs of boys and how important the influence of men are in their lives.

My husband and I came up with this list together but he had most of the ideas. He has spent a lot of time thinking about how to raise 3 boys–all who have unique personalities and interests. I realize that some of you may not have a father in your sons’ lives but I hope this list helps you appreciate the men who are involved in your kids lives. Richard Rohr, author of Adam’s Return: The Five Promises of Male Initiation, after studying male initiation rites all over the world, says that all boys need men who are not their father to teach them what it means to be a man. So to all those men who are helping our sons become men–this is for you.

1. Play. When it is time for bath time at our house my two older sons ask every night, “do we have time for wrestling?” Every night. It is probably their favorite time of the day. During the day I let the boys climb on me but it just isn’t the same as rough housing with daddy or wrestling with their daddy. There is something fun for a boy when he gets to test his strength with daddy. Even though the boys know daddy is stronger, it gives them confidence when they can get a good wrestling move in on daddy. Jon uses that time for physical bonding and to teach them that they can get bonked around and have fun at the same time. I always hear squeals of laughter and delight and it makes my heart smile. You have probably noticed that men play much different than us moms do.

2. Modeling. Having different men involved in our sons’ lives models different examples of what it means to be a “man”. Having a variety of male influences in the lives of boys helps them to see that they can still be a man if they don’t like to play sports and prefer to read instead. My 4 year old loves being outside and trying out sports. He loves to run around and be active playing different outside games. My 3 year old will play along if we are doing a sports activity but his MO is books, stories, and imagination. Reading and playing imagination games really get him excited. Right now we just encourage play and trying lots of new things but I wonder if as they grow older my 4 year old will be more of a jock and my 3 year old will be more of an academic or creative person. There is a lot of pressure on young boys that they need to fulfill a certain criteria in order to be a man but they truth is that there is a huge spectrum of diversity in interests and talents. Which leads me to my next point….

3. Affirming emotions. “Boys/Men don’t cry” is probably one of the biggest lies that gets passed on to boys. Continuing to teach that to our boys is harmful but when a boy hears from a man that it is okay to have feelings (like sadness) and that it is okay to cry means much more to him than hearing it from his own mother. Jon has mentioned to me that it is a tough balance to teach boys how to both express those sadness feelings and also not be made fun of by peers. Boys learn how to express anger, sadness, and joy from watching other men. Tell the men in your sons lives to draw out their emotions and to affirm them.

4. Risk Taking. Us moms are the nurturers. We tend to tense up and shout out “Be Careful!” when our kids try something new–like climbing up the ladder for the first time at the playground. Our husbands and other men tend to hang back and tell the kids to go for it. Both are important. Kids definitely need nurturing but it goes against my nature to encourage a lot of risk taking. I appreciate that about my husband. I don’t want my sons to be wimps but I don’t think I would be able to teach them how to take a lot of physical or mental risks on my own.

5. Modeling Attitudes And Behaviors Toward Women. My husband is good about pointing out that they are to be respectful toward mommy. He is proactive in teaching the boys to honor women/girls and that they aren’t the “bad other”. It is a normal development when suddenly boys think girls are “yucky”. They start to realize that Barbie is for girls and girls like pink–and that stuff is “sooo yucky”. Sure, they learn it from social cues around them but when boys see other men treating women with respect they will learn it too. We don’t want our sons to think of women as weak or to patronize them but we do want our sons to be chivalrous and respectable young men.

I know that as my sons grow up it will be important for them to have other positive male influences in their lives. As they grow up I will encourage them to spend time with their grandpas, uncles, godparents, and family friends. We have often talked about having an all boys camping trip with some good friends of ours who have a son too (unfortunately we currently live across the country from them). I think creating opportunities for male bonding and influence will come more often as the boys grow older. Together we can shape these boys into the men we want to see them become.

This past week, our whole family attended the National Down Syndrome Congress’ (NDSC) annual conference. This is the third year I have gone. This year’s convention was held in Boston, Massachusetts. I can’t say enough great things about visiting Boston. The Boston area is so rich in American history! The kids did so well on the trip. My fears were Connor on the plane, Connor going to sleep at night, and Darah becoming overstimulated. Connor LOVED flying and went to bed like a champ. We didn’t have to put his crib in the bathroom like I thought we would, and we even got to keep the television on while he slept right through it! Darah did have one really horrific day and didn’t do so well on the plane trip home, but all in all, she did 100 times better than I expected! On a scale of 1-10, Connor got a “10″ and Darah got a “6.5″ after all was said and done. That’s not too bad!

The NDSC put on a great conference and I came home with a lot of information. I attended a workshop about gross motor skills post walking led by Pat Winders. Pat is a physical therapist who has done so much research on children with Down syndrome and how their gross motor skills develop. Another workshop I attended was all about Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA). Dr. Sally Shott is an ENT physician from Cincinnati who specializes in children with Down syndrome. She spoke about treatment options and other related issues to OSA. I am excited to share all the information I have learned on OSA, but that will be saved for another post! This is just a glimmer of the education I received while I was in Boston, and I’m anxiously awaiting for the audio of the workshops I wasn’t able to attend.

Another cool thing that happened in Boston was meeting again and talking with Denise from eReadingPro, which is one of The Mom Crowd’s sponsors and the reason Darah is doing so well with her reading. It was great talking with her one-on-one and meeting her other half. We left the day she had her workshop, or I so would have been there! She’s a ton of fun!  Actually, I spent most of my time with another one of our sponsors, Bethany, from The Polkadot Platypus!  In the picture above, she is the second from the left.  She’s my twin!

The very best part of my trip was meeting up with old friends and making new friends! I have made a lot of online friends through an online forum for parents of children with Down syndrome. This group has been the most amazing family and has given me so much support and encouragement. I have formed some of my closest friendships from this online group and it’s been great to reunite with these friends in person! I was able to meet some people in real life for the first time. It was so great to see these pictures and personalities come to life! Darah’s extra chromosome and the internet has connected me with a very special family!

If you have a child with Down syndrome, I strongly encourage you to attend one of these national conferences. You will walk away with a wealth of information and will have made new life-long friends. Here’s some points to consider:

• Book your hotel early! We had to stay at a hotel across the street because the conference hotel fills up fast!
• Check with your local group to see if they provide scholarships or grants for families attending the conference. Some groups will pay a grant in exchange for you writing up an article for their newsletter on what you learned. Other groups will send their top volunteers to the conference! That is how I paid for my first two conferences! President Bush’s stimulus check paid for a chunk of this year’s conference!
• Make it a family vacation! There are grandparent workshops, a whole separate conference for individuals with Down syndrome and a separate conference for siblings of individuals with Down syndrome.
• If you are not able to attend, think about purchasing the c.d. from the conference and listening to the workshops!

2009′s conference will be in Sacramento, California from July 31-August 2. I’m booking my hotel as soon as they post the information!

Have you ever met any online friends IRL (in real life)? What was that like? Did you attend this year’s conference? What did you think?