The Mom Crowd

“Mommy, can you try to be more patient?”

My 3-year-old daughter said this last night.  Several things ran through my mind at that moment:

1. Wow, she knows what patience is and how to use that word in context!  She’s a genius!
2. I guess I’m really failing at my parenting role at the moment.
3. Wait a minute, haven’t I been pretty darn patient this week??

My husband has been out of town since Sunday morning, and he comes home tomorrow night.  Seven straight days of solo 24/7 care of my kids.  (He was gone for a week in June, too, so I’m feeling pretty worn down.)   I know for many of you moms out there, this is how your life looks, too.  Our spouses have to leave for periods of time for a variety of reasons.  I’m sure we all have ways of coping with our tremendous parenting responsibilities on our own.

Here’s how I’ve survived this week (having been… “mostly” patient):

• I made lots of plans with friends.  Lunches out, dinners in, swimming dates, what have you.  I’ve been loading and unloading my kids from the car several times a day.
• I registered my older child for Vacation Bible School for the week.  Not only did this give her something special to do each day, it lightened my morning load so I only had to care for one child.
• I updated my facebook status about fifty times a day to vent or brag, whichever need was stronger.
• I watched a stack of chick flicks.
• I managed to get in my running routine, getting creative with scheduling & childcare.
• I said no when I needed to say no.  I was going to go to a potluck dinner on Monday night until my kids started their evening meltdown.  I opted to stay in and put them to bed early.  Good call.
• I hardly did any chores around the house.  The sheets will get changed, the clothes will get washed, and the floors will get swept next week. 
• I ate ice cream right out of the carton.

Meanwhile, my kids decided to test my disputed patience level with endless fighting, tantrums (thanks, new 2-year-old!), screaming that made my ears bleed, repeated and annoying questions, and refusals to eat more than half of each meal.

When Lucy asked me to be more patient, I had just finished yelling about how they weren’t cleaning up their toys.  (Yep, that old chestnut.)  By the end of Day Five, that kind of seemed allowable.  I mean seriously.  I can’t be supermom all the time!  I did calmly try to explain to her that I have been patient most of the time, and that should count for something!  Of course, all she heard was “Blah blah blah, blah BLAH, blah BLAH,” to which she responded, “NOW will you read the book to me?”

Alas.  We’re alive, we’re well, and we’re happy, for the most part.  Have a great weekend, Mom Crowd!

photo courtesy dieselbug2007

What do you do if your child comes to you and wants _____ that you think are too expensive?

In our case that is shoes.  Our 5 year old saw a commercial for a brand of shoes and was convinced that the shoes would help him run faster.  He has recently grown out of his old shoes and does need new ones.  When I looked up how much the shoes he wants are I thought, “No way am I paying for those!”  At first I wanted to tell him that we were not getting those shoes because they are too expensive.  I knew that answer wouldn’t really make a lot of sense to him and would probably make him angry.   My husband reminded me that it could be a good life lesson and that we should think about approaching it from a different angle.

My husband asked me how much I would normally spend on shoes for the boys.  I told him and we came up with a strategy to help the 5 year old learn about managing money.  We also wanted to guide him and help him make a decision that he could be happy with.

We looked online with the 5 year old at the shoes he wants.  We did tell him that the shoes cost more than we want to spend on the shoes but that he did have some options. We told him that we would pay for a certain amount of the shoes and that he would have to come up with the rest of the money. We asked him if he would like to know what other kids do when they want something that costs more than they have.  He said, “Sure!”

We said that some kids:

• save up their birthday money and use it to buy something they want
• ask their parents, grandparents, neighbors if they have extra jobs they can pay him for
• choose to buy something less expensive that is within their budget
• wait for it to go on sale

He thought about it and he either wants to save some of his birthday money or do extra jobs to make up the difference.  As soon as he can pay up then we will happily take him out shopping.  We feel good that he is learning about how to live within a budget and work hard for the extra things he wants.  We shared that we have to make those same decisions when we want to buy things that are cost more than we have in our budget.  We feel like it is a real world learning opportunity for him–he’ll have to make lots of similar decisions about money as he grows up.

We look forward to using this strategy more as these situations come up more often in the future. I think he’ll feel good about participating in buying something that he wants.  If he figures out that those shoes won’t actually make him run faster then he’ll also learn another good life lesson.

How do you handle it when your kids want something that you think is too expensive?  What do you tell your kids?

**photo courtesy of   flickr’s plasticrevolver

My husband recently got laid off from his job due to the recession and has been home full time for about two weeks.  As negative as his job loss may seem, it’s been a blessing to me at this point in time.  I have been dealing with some health problems that have kept me in bed and unable to do my daily activities, including chasing after our two kids.  I have been blessed that my husband has been stepping up to the plate in a big way, even more than usual.  It got me to thinking about how much I underappreciate him on a regular basis.

Often times I get into the mindset of “I do so much around here and no one seems to appreciate it” and I forget about all that my husband does without expecting my praise or any reward.  Even before he was laid off, he spent a ton of time with the kids and did baths everynight.  He always takes out the trash and brings in the heavy things from the car after big shopping trips.  Little things like those go unappreciated so often that I have begun to take him for granted.  I have come up with a few ideas of ways I can show my appreciation for him and thought I’d share.  (Of course, being the ever loving and supportive husband he is, he will probably read this before you all do and will know the little acts of kindness before they are done!)

• Write him a little note telling him how much I love him and leave it in his car (I do this every now and then when I can sneak out to the car without him knowing)
• Give him an unprompted back rub
• Make his favorite dinner without asking him beforehand what he wants to eat that night 
• Do the kids’ bath one night to give him a break
• Brag about him to my friends
• Make him his favorite cookies and not eat any myself

I think the best thing I can do to show him my true appreciation for all that he is and does is just to tell him and stop complaining when I don’t feel appreciated.  I think he’ll like the last one best of all!

What kinds of little things do you do for your husband when you want to show him your appreciation?  What are some ways you wish he would show you his appreciation for you?

Photo Courtesy of KayVee.INC

This last week, I volunteered at my church’s Vacation Bible School.  It was a wonderful time, but incredibly exhausting!  Our church’s VBS was in the evenings from 6:30-9:15.  I volunteered very last minute as a crew leader, which meant I was responsible for taking 5-7 children through each VBS station.  The first night was overwhelming for me.  I had six children in my crew.  The two boys in my crew were hyper and wild!  I was constantly having to shhh! them and remind them to listen.  I had one little girl who wasn’t content unless all four of her limbs were wrapped around my leg.  In addition to a group of energetic children, I was performing all of the high energy songs and dance moves, mediating arguments over who was going to sit by me, and hunting down the nurse for icepacks for boo-boos.  I got home after those first two nights feeling completely drained and over-stimulated.  However, toward the middle of the week, I started feeling like I was getting to know these children better and started noticing the numberous positive qualities that each of them had.  I started looking forward to seeing them and following up on the stories they shared with me the evening prior.  It was wonderful and inspiring to see their love for God and I finished the week feeling as though I had a positive impact on these children’s lives and that they had taught me something about the simplicity of faith. 

Our church went all out for Vacation Bible School.  Our theme (like many churches this summer) was Crocodile Dock.  We went through the week’s swamp theme, stopping at a snack, game, interactive Bible story, craft, candle-light discussion, and large group stations.  The kids had a blast learning about Moses, the plagues, and telling the Pharoah to “let my people go!”  Every night we learned about how much God loves us and that we should “FEAR NOT!”  One of the most awesome experiences of my week was when one of my little guys told me that he was sad his friend wasn’t there.  He thought she was going to come and she wasn’t.  Tuesday evening, we prayed that she would come and I can not even describe the look on his face when he saw her on Wednesday night.  He was so excited that God answered his prayer and was overjoyed at the gift he had in communicating with God.  All he spoke about the remainder of the week was about how God heard his prayer.  I loved being a crew leader and even though it was exhausting, I would totally do it again! 

My own children are still too young to participate in Vacation Bible School, but I can’t wait for them to be a part of it!  Here are some reasons I think parents should sign their children up for Vacation Bible School.

•  You get a several hour break from your kids every day for a week!
• Your children will be in a loving environment with people who care about their well-being.
• Your kids will have a blast!  There is no such thing as a boring VBS!
• VBS will reinforce what you have been trying to teach your children about God, if you are a Christian.
• VBS is a good way for you to get to know a church that you do not attend if you are looking for a church home.

Have your children attended VBS’s this summer or in summers past?  Have you ever volunteered at a VBS at your church?

This weekend one of my closest friends accidentally locked her 21-month old daughter in her Jeep Liberty. Thankfully after the police and a fire truck came they were able to bust out the back window and get into the vehicle. Her daughter was red and upset, but she eventually calmed down and was fine. My friend had to the endure the embarrassment of the situation. This happens to a lot of moms. We don’t intentionally lock our kids in the car, it happens.

I accidentally locked my daughter in the car when she was 18 months old at the grocery store. I set my keys down on the back seat next to her car seat and turned to put the diaper bag on the top of my trunk. Just as I was placing the bag down a gust of wind blew my car door shut. I immediately asked myself how long is she safe in the car with no AC. Thankfully my phone was in the diaper bag and I called my husband. He didn’t answer and I texted the words “call me now!” He had an extra key and was only 3 minutes away at home. While waiting for husband to come I knocked on the window and smiled at her and tried to show her that everything was okay.

Since locking my girl in the car I have started to put the keys on top of my car or in my pocket when I am getting them out. Another way to prevent the situation is to carry an extra key hidden on the car under the license plate or taped under the car somewhere. Pop A Lock will also open your car for free. You can program the number of your local dispatch in your phone. (I just programmed mine. It took less than 60 seconds.)

In this summer heat the temperature of the inside of the car can rise significantly in just a few minutes. Here is an excellent post on Baby Tool Kit about what do when an infant or child is accidentally locked in a car with the keys. The first thing is not to panic and then call for help. If you don’t have a phone then ask someone nearby to call 911. Then note the time, because sometimes 5 minutes can seem like an eternity.

Locking your child in the car can totally shake you up. Hug your child and get something to drink to hydrate everyone. Be sure you are calm before you drive again. Know that you haven’t lost your card to The World’s Best Moms Club. You are still a great mom!

Have you ever accidentally locked you children in the car? How do you get them out? Where you shaken up?

- photo courtesy of crowdive