The Mom Crowd

I finally figured out how to keep all the baby socks organized.  I think I read somewhere that you can make your own non-slip socks by getting some puffy or slick fabric paint and putting some on the bottom of the socks.  I even found a site where you can make your own puffy paint but I thought it might peel off quicker than store bought paint.  The homemade puffy paint was made with glue and shaving cream–didn’t seem like it would last through several washes.

I had an “AHA!” moment when I figured out that I could use the slick paint to not only make socks non-skid, but I could also put what age range they are for. Some stores (Baby Gap, Old Navy) label their sock size by age range on the bottom with non-slip paint which comes in handy–but I have a lot of socks that aren’t labeled.

I have been somewhat organized by putting them in labeled ziplock bags so I can keep track of the sizes.  But often when I am switching over from one sock size to another the socks get mixed up into the wrong bag. If I label my socks with fabric paint, then I will be killing two birds with one stone.

My inspiration came from my desire for Graham to have warm feet in our chilly house AND for him to gain confidence in his walking abilities.  I thought if he felt like he was slipping all the time it might discourage him from walking.  No slipping=Less falling=More walking.  Graham is 14.5 months old and still prefers to crawl although he does take several steps throughout the day.  I added a picture to show you my little sock creation.

We all show our family that we love them in different ways. Another way that you can show your love for them is to show them that you care about them even after you are gone. The hard reality is that we are all going to leave this earth and we don’t know when. I have a friend whose husband unexpectedly passed when they were 27 years old and she had 3 month old twins to take care of. It doesn’t matter what stage of life you are in, you need to be prepared.

Each person makes their own decision how to prepare for the end from an emotional and spiritual aspect, but here are some practical steps to be prepared from a financial and administrative perspective.

1. Have a will.

Even if you don’t think you have a lot of assets, you need to have a will because you don’t want the State to dictate what happens to your property after you are gone. You have the opportunity now to take that responsibility. It will save your family a lot of time and grief knowing your wishes, because getting an estate in order after someone has passed can take a lot of time.  You may be surprised by how many possessions you own after completing a will.

It is good to discuss whom will care for your children if something should happen to both parents. It is certainly a hard decision and there are many factors to consider. I know one couple who does not tell anyone who the “godparents” are, because it isn’t a family member and they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. This is one decision I DO NOT want left up to the State’s probate laws.

Myth: I have to go through a lawyer to get a will.
Fact: Right now you can download a state specific will from USLegalForms.com for $20. Then all you have to do is fill it out and have it notarized.

2. Have Term Life Insurance.

If someone depends on your income then it is best to take out a policy for 8 – 10 times your income. Then once the life insurance money has been issued, your family can invest the money in a good growth stock mutual fund and if it earns at least a 10% return, you can live off of the interest. Then the lost income is replaced.  Since I am a Stay at Home Mom, this gives me an enormous amount of peace knowing that I will be okay for money if something should happen to my husband.

For Stay at Home Moms a policy should be for about $250,000 to $400,000, because a mom’s work is valued at about $40,000 a year. (Although, it feels like it should be more!) The idea is that if something happens to the mother, then the father can afford a Nanny or Child Care while he continues to working.

Don’t assume you have life insurance through your work. Find out the details of any life insurance plan you or your spouse has through work.

Term Life Insurance is not that expensive. You can go to ZanderIns.com for a quote. Depending on your age and how much coverage you want it can be $30 to $55 a month.

Myth: Whole Life Insurance is a great idea, because I can invest my money at the same time.
Fact:  The truth is that the return on investments in a whole life policy are horrible and it is better to put that money in a mutual fund. Also, there is not a guarantee that your beneficiaries will receive the savings upon your death. For more information about Whole Life Insurance go here.

3. Make plans for your estate.

Making a will and planning for your estate go hand in hand.  Estate planning will allow you to decide who will get your house, cars, or anything else you want. Also, if you give your house as an inheritance to your kids, then you can avoid a high rate of gift tax. On daveramsey.com “The federal government allows someone to die and leave in their estate $2 million without any estate taxes. An individual can only give another individual $12,000 before getting gift-taxed out the ear unless they claim it as part of their estate before they die.”  You can read more about this here under the question “Is Inheritance The Way To Go?”

The estate planning process is also where you will set up any trusts that you want to leave for your kids. You can even make stipulations on whatever specific areas you want. You can specify the age that they get it and how much or that it be used to pay for college.

Myth: Estate planning is only for rich people.
Fact:  The truth is that you may be surprised by how much you have. You need to make plans for the term life insurance money or if you own a home.

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Parent Hacks is one of my favorite websites, because it gives you practical tips to make your life as a parent a little easier. Here are few parent hacks of my own that I have used. I would love to hear some the creative ideas that you have come up with in the comment section.

1. Using return address labels on the back of wallet sized photos. I honestly do not want to write Annabelle’s name, age, and date on the back of 30 photos. So I like to print out the information I want on a clear return address label and stick it to the back of the photo. You don’t get any pen imprints or bleed through from writing on the back. It also makes the photos look more professional.

2. Parking next to a cart return when you go shopping. This was a huge help when I had to lug my baby around in a car seat. When I leave the store I like to put my baby in the car first, but I don’t want to leave her alone in the car while I return the cart. Also, you don’t have to carry a car seat or a wiggly toddler very far to get a cart when you arrive.

3. Bringing your ipod and speakers to the park. I like to take Annabelle to my neighborhood park, but it is usually empty and boring when I go by myself. So one time I brought my ipod and speakers with me. I could still keep my eyes on my daughter and I was able to listen to some good music at the same time. Annabelle would even dance to the music.

4. Giving your little one a snack at the grocery store. Ideally I would love to grocery shop without Annabelle, but that doesn’t always happen. My problem is keeping her in the shopping cart seat. She likes to stand up. My friend Sarah said that she gave her kids a Dum Dum when she went and that help to occupy them. Annabelle was driving me nuts one day, so I went over the candy aisle and opened a bag of Dum Dums and I gave her one. It occupied her for a while and I was thankful. I saw one of my friends feeding her two little ones eggrolls from the Chinese take-out stand. I have since tried bananas, dried pineapple and opening a bag of bread, but I still keep a few Dum Dums in my bag for when I am desperate.

5. Using 2×4′s to install a pressure mount baby gate onto two banisters without drilling. My husband and I did not want to drill into the banisters at the bottom of our stairs to install a gate, so we used zip ties to attach a 2×4 piece of scrap wood to each of the banisters. After installing the wood, it was really easy to put the baby gate in place.

Okay, these last two are for girls but maybe you could share them with a friend if you don’t have a girl.

6. Pairing dresses that are too short with a pair of pants. My daughter doesn’t grow out of clothes quickly, but sometimes dresses do get too short. I started pairing a dress with a pair of jeans underneath and I love it. I get more life out of her clothes and she looks cute.

7. Put a rubberband around the bottom of a hair clip to keep it in their hair. I can’t take full credit for this tip. I got it from the nice lady who runs a boutique here in my town. She told me to put a little rubberband on the bottom metal half of the bow to keep it from sliding in the hair. Every time I have done this it has worked.

Do you have any parent hacks that you like to use? Do you have a solution for my problem of keeping my 18 month old safe in a shopping cart? (ha!)

November is National Adoption Awareness Month, so I thought I’d post about adoption this month.  One of the biggest pieces to our adoption journey, thus far, has been the home study process.  Before we started our adoption journey, I had no idea what the process was like.  I vaguely knew it was going to take a long time and I definitely knew it was going to cost a lot of money.  When we committed to adopting baby Reese, the first item on our to-do list was to have a home study completed by a licensed social worker.  I immediately started researching the process and became quite overwhelmed.  The lovely folks at Reece’s Rainbow walked me through the process and it ended up being much less stressful than I thought it would be.

I thought I’d share our experience with those of you who are beginning your own adoption journeys or those of you who are just curious as to how adoptions work.  Whether you are adopting domestically or internationally, you will have to have a home study done.  There may be some minor differences between domestic and international adoptio home studies and there is most certainly variances between social workers, but I believe that all home studies have the same foundation.

 Finding your social worker

• This is the first step.  Finding a social worker who is experienced, licensed, and whose eager to help you in your adoption process can take some digging.  You can find many social workers at 1-800-homestudy or you can google or look in your phone book.  It’s important to find a social worker who is in your price range.  The fees for a home study can be anywhere between $600 and $2,500 for international adoptions.  Different countries have different requirements, so make sure your social worker has experience with home studies in YOUR child’s country.  If you don’t feel a personality connection with your social worker, find someone else.  This home study process can be anywhere from one month to several months long, so you want to be working with someone you like.  Ask what their turn around time is and what their process is like.  Every social worker runs their home studies a little differently, so shop around.  If the social worker doesn’t return calls, that may be a sign that they may not be easily reached when you need them.

Before your home visit

• After you’ve selected your social worker, he or she will start you on a paper chase.  This will include locating your marriage license, birth certificates, divorce certificates (if applicable), filling out background check forms, having a medical exam, asking friends for letters of recommendations, having your fingerprints taken locally, and submitting financial records (note: you do not need to be rich to adopt, you only need to show that you are able to provide for your family).  Your social worker will also schedule a home visit to meet your family, see your home, and conduct interviews.  This may be scheduled before or after you obtain the necessary documents.

What to expect for your home visit

• The home visit was the most intimidating part of this process.  We scheduled our home visit and it was canceled by the social worker last minute.  It was very frustrating because I had slaved over my house and it was sparkling.  It was rescheduled for the next week and again, I devoted myself to scrubbing and cleaning my house.  Our social worker arrived and was very friendly.  We gave her a tour of our home and she took a picture of each room.  She didn’t look in any closets (which I had spent hours cleaning) and didn’t even look at our master bathroom.  She looked at our backyard and didn’t look in the garage (whew!).  She said that she wasn’t there to inspect my cleaning abilities, but was there to make sure there was adequate space for our child and that our home was safe, which made me feel better, even though my house was the cleanest it’s ever been!  We then sat down to have an interview.  She asked my husband and myself individually about our motivation to adopt and about our childhoods.  Specifically, she asked about our parents’ discipline, activities we participated in, whether we had any history of abuse, etc…  She wanted to know what schools we’ve attended and what jobs we’ve had as adults as well.  She was pretty specific, but I did not feel like there was a “right” answer or a “wrong” answer.  She then asked us individually about our marriage and our parenting style.  She wanted to know if we would treat Reese like our other children and how we planned to incorporate Reese’s culture into our family.  After she conducted individual interviews, we were done.  Our kids are too young to be interviewed, however they were there the whole time, playing and fighting with each other.  We ate some pizza and salad, visited for a while and then she left.  She was at our house for about 2 1/2 hours.  I jokingly asked her if she was going to at least look at the fire escape path I made for her visit.  She laughed.  I had read that we had to have a fire escape path drawn out, so I did that and it wasn’t necessary in my case.  I know this sounds simple, but it really was this simple!

What happens next?

• We are now in this stage of our home study process.  Our social worker left the home visit with the necessary documents and we received a draft of our home study about two weeks later.  I sent her some corrections I wanted her to make (minor things like misspellings and wording errors, etc…) and she made those revisions. We found out that our Child Protective Services clearance had not arrived, so we are now waiting for that.  Once that is received, she will UPS official, notarized copies of our final home study to both us and to our local USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services) office.  From there, we will hopefully receive an invitation from USCIS to have our federal fingerprints done and an approval from the US to adopt soon after that.

This is a very nutshelled version of our homestudy process, but it truly was this simple for us!  Something that was incredibly overwhelming to me has been smooth and simple, except for the minor delay with our CPS clearance form.

Here are a few resources for you as you begin your adoption home study process:

• The Nuts and Bolts of an Adoption Home Study 
• 1-800 Home Study (one of the best resources on finding a social worker for your home study!)
• The Adoption Home Study

For those of you who have had a homestudy, what tips do you have for prospective adoptive parents?

I can’t believe it’s Halloween.  The older I get, the quicker it comes.  I’m no longer a child in a classroom counting down the long October days to the 31st.  I no longer fret over what would be the best costume.  I don’t worry about how many pieces of candy my mom will allow me to eat each day.  Yes, the tables have turned; now it’s my turn to monitor all of this for my kids.  Since they’re still 2 and 1, though, I don’t have to go through the whole Halloween shebang just yet.  This year, our focus has been on having the most budget-friendly holiday.  If you’re like me, you don’t have much extra cash for store-bought costumes or full-sized candy bars to give away.   

Here are some ideas to keep Halloween easy on the wallet: 

• Make your own costume.  Sometimes, the store-bought ones look so cheesy anyway; using clothes from around the house really adds character and originality to a costume.  I remember once I was a princess, and I borrowed a prom dress and jewelry from one of my mom’s friends.  All I needed was the tiara!  Another time, my mom made me a cheerleading outfit and sewed the year I would graduate high school on the sleeve of my sweater.  (I remember thinking, ‘Wow, 1994 will never come!’)  The best homemade costumes, though, have wit.  One year, I made a “sandwich-board” costume out of posterboard to look like a giant Dawn dishwashing soap bottle.  And in eighth grade, my friend Jaimee and I decided to be a giant yellow happy face.  We pulled it off, too.

• Borrow a hand-me-down costume from a friend.  This year, I was fortunate enough to borrow a lion costume for Eli and a giraffe costume for Lucy.  They will even “match” in all of their jungle-ness!  If you already purchased a costume this year, save it and be on the lookout for someone who can put it to good use next year.
• Wait until the last week of October to buy your pumpkins.  True, the selection might be picked over, but if you’re carving it up anyway, what’s the big deal?  We bought a decent-sized one for $3 this week at Wal-Mart.  Also, plan on reusing your carving kit for next year; that’s another $4 saved.
• Go trick-or-treating with friends in another neighborhood.  I’m not trying to sound cheap here, but since I made plans to take the kids someplace else during the evening hours, I don’t have to worry about buying candy to give away!  (When you’re really on a shoe-string budget, this helps.)
• Add Halloween fun to things you already eat.  Use food coloring in your muffins, buy the black spaghetti noodles for a clever dinner idea, and roast your pumpkin seeds for a healthy, tasty snack.  (There are lots of ways to do it, but this is the simple recipe I used.)  

What are some other ideas you have?  I hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween!