The Mom Crowd

Okay, I know times are tough (are you tired of hearing that?) and we are all looking for ways to be frugal and save money.  I have come across a few things that I love so I thought I’d share–from one mom to another .

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Two days before Christmas, a milestone I have been dreading for more than a year was achieved.  My two year old learned that he was more than capable of getting out of his crib without my help.  I unassumingly went to retrieve him from his nap one day and discovered him waiting by the door for me.  He immediately ran to his crib and said “up” and wanted to show me his newfound skill.  I thought for a second about buying a crib tent for him until we were ready to transition him to a big kid bed, but decided I was only delaying the inevitable.  Anyway, we will be needing his crib for Reese when she comes home in a few months.  So, I set up his twin size bed frame and mattress we already had waiting for him.

We transitioned my daughter out of her crib when she was 18 months old.  There are a couple of reasons she made the move early, but the primary reason was I needed the crib for her brother who was incubating in my womb.  I also was a first time parent who didn’t understand the benefits of waiting for some of those great milestone moments! That being said, I have now successfully transitioned two children from their cribs to big kid beds and bedtime is rarely a difficult task in our house.  I will be fair and admit that I have two children who never been especially difficult to coax to bed.  While my children do not typically fight sleep in our home, they will never sleep in the car (yes, 5  hour round trip day visits with my family are always fun!) and getting them to go to sleep in any bed other than their own is a next to impossible task.  So, my anxiety about transitioning my son to a new bed was warranted. Here is my son’s transition story and some tips that helped us in moving our children from their cribs to big kid beds.

Getting Ready for Your Transition:

• Go overboard on baby proofing!  Put a door knob safety cover on the inside of the door or a baby gate at their door, cover outlets, secure ALL furniture to a wall stud, take away any climbing temptation, eliminate any small or sharp objects in their room, check for strings on pull toys and other choking hazards, and make sure your windows are secure and do not pose a choking hazard (blind cords especially!!!)  Babyproofing should go beyond your child’s bedroom.  Make sure there is a gate at the top of your stairs if you have a two-story home. If you have an alarm for your front, back, and garage doors, be sure to set it.  Wandering children in the middle of the night is never a good thing!
• Limit the number of toys in their room.  Toys can be a big distraction from falling asleep.  My daughter had a small basket of books and a small basket of baby dolls in her room. Gradually, we have increased the number of toys in the bedrooms.

Ready or Not!
Whether your transitioning your child to a toddler size bed or a full size bed, make sure they cannot roll out easily.  We took a very “Super Nanny” approach in our transitions.  We went through our normal bed time routine, informed our children that it was time for sleep, and we encouraged them to stay in their bed.  The first night my son slept in his big boy bed was rough.  He went to bed at his normal bedtime, but every time I left the room, he would get up and cry scream bloody murder by the door.  We watched the clock and every 15 minutes, I would go in his room and place him back in his bed.  I reminded him the first time that it was time for sleep.  After that, I didn’t say anything to him.  I did this about four times and he was not letting up.  So, I decided to go in his room and sit in the dark by the door.  I told him to stay in his bed and he did as long as I was in his room and fell asleep after about 10 minutes.  The next night, we started off with the initial routine from the night before, but after hearing him call for us pitifully saying, “No! Mommy!  No! Daddy!” my husband and I decided that one of us should sit in his room with him until he fell asleep.  He was asleep after 5 minutes of me sitting by his door.  On the third night, he didn’t need me in the room and went straight to bed without any reminders to stay in his bed.

Naptime wasn’t much different.  He isn’t napping as long as he normally did before he moved from his crib, but he is still taking decent naps.  After a couple of days of reminding him it was time for nap and not giving in by taking him downstairs to play, he is now a pro at napping in his new bed.

I think the main reason our children transitioned well is because of our consistency.  While we did give in a little by staying in the room with him until he fell asleep, we didn’t give in by taking him out of his room once it we began bedtime.  He takes us seriously now when we say it’s bedtime and doesn’t put up a fight.  That being said, I think if we had other sleep battles from the get-go this transition would have been much harder.

How was your child’s transition from his crib?  What worked for you during their transition?  What didn’t work for you when you transitioned?  Was your child already a good sleeper when it was time for them to switch beds?

As someone who likes to live Green (I have much higher hopes that I will one day do much better than I currently am doing), I was recently challenged to try a new way of living.  Going paperless.  That’s right, no disposable papers in the house.  Wipes, toilet paper, diapers, paper towels, kleenex, napkins, menstral pads and tampons….But one thing at a time.  It is overwhelming to try and do it all at once.

 We have pretty much been paper towel-less for a few years because we were given 2 bags of  microfiber cloths from Sams.  I pretty much use those for EVERYTHING.  The only thing I use paper towels for is to make bacon in the microwave.  It was an easy transition for us.  I also started using the Diva Cup a few years ago and have enjoyed that.  Disposable menstral pads drive me crazy and irritate my skin and I don’t like the idea of using chemical products “up there.” I haven’t tried cloth menstral pads yet but I would like to try them as a back up to the Diva Cup.

 We have posted before about cloth diapers and the benefits but there are many other things we also can do to reduce our waste. I realize that this post will probably elicit verbal noises from you while you read it but it should make for an interesting, and hopefully not revolting read for you. 

I recently read a post from another blogger who has decided to cut down on her toilet paper use by using cloth wipes instead.  

She is just using the wipes for pee and not poop.  As I was enjoying my time on the internet I went down some bunny trails to other bloggers who have also written ab

out going toilet paper-less.  One woman has a great post about what her family does and how her toilet paper-less system works (a lovely basket that holds clean pee wipes, a wipes warmer for clean poop wipes, and a dirty wipes bag).  She does keep a roll of paper t.p. on hand for guests who feel uncomfortable using the cloth wipes.    

 I have to admit, I was inspired.  Why use scratchy toilet paper when you can use soft flannel or cotton?  Why pay for something that can be washed and reused? I can use a small trash can with a lid to put the dirty cloth wipes in between washes. I could probably get a wipes warmer from Freecycle or Craig’s List. I think cloth wipes are more effecient no matter where you are wiping. I use fewer cloth wipes than disposable wipes when changing a dirty diaper.  It might take a bit to get over the whole big kid/grown up poop thing…but how much different is it than using cloth diapers and wipes on babies and toddlers?  Not much, really.  And I have seen a lot of poop over the past 5 years. 

 We already use cloth diapers so what is a few more wipes to the laundry?   Making your own cloth wipes for baby bums or your own is not very expensive at all.  All you need is some soft flannel from the fabric store and a sewing machine.  You can read about how to make your own here and here.  The latter tells you how you can make your own by reusing all those extra flannel receiving blankets you got from your baby showers.   I am not much of a sew-er but I can definitely do that!

 When I told my husband about my new inspiration he gave me “that look” that said, WHAT?!  Really?  And then he said, “Um, can we talk about this later?  I think I need a little more time to digest another crunchy idea of yours.” So, he’s digesting and I am formulating how many wipes I think I will need to supply our family bathroom habits.  I don’t know how much toilet paper your kids use but now that mine wipe themselves, we go through toilet paper like crazy and I am not too fond of jammed toilets.  I’m all for saving pennies–and time not spent unclogging the toilet.  

 My thought it that it might be a little extra laundry but the “nether-regions” of my family will appreciate the softness of the cloth toilet paper and I will enjoy not spending so much money on toilet paper at the store.  Just for fun, I also came across this: The Biffy.  When my husband saw that you could have your own personal toilet bidet he said,  ”No way are we getting one of those!” I don’t see myself purchasing a Biffy anytime soon. 

So, any thoughts?  Anyone want to join me in the change over from toilet paper to cloth toilet wipes? Tell us if it grosses you out or if you think it is something you might consider doing!    

Do you have a community where you can find friends who will listen to you vent or just watch your kids for an hour? I don’t know what I would do without my online community of friends and my friends who live near me. I need them to ask advice or have adult interaction that lets me think about something other than diapers and what is for lunch. We sometimes watch each other’s kids while we go to appointments. I got through my three months of extreme morning sickness with the help and kindness of my friends.

Creating a community for yourself whether it be online or physically in your local area takes work. You have to step out of your shell and possibly risk rejection. You have to keep up with people’s lives. You have to schedule playdates and make time for people. You have to watch their kids, if they watch yours. No matter how much work it is, the benefits of having friends and community far outweigh the disadvantages of not having a group of people that you can lean on.

Here are a few places to find community:

• Online 

There are forums, blogs (like ours!), and social networks. I love reading my friends’ blogs. Dawn is one of our writers here. I haven’t seen her in person in 10 years, but I feel like I have a good friend through her blog, Facebook, and our emails. I haven’t really gotten into forums. I tried Baby Center, but just never got into it. I like Cafe Mom and the Mom Bloggers Club. I just recently became active in my Facebook account. I have a Twitter account, but none of my friends use it so it fell by the wayside. I like that The Mom Crowd is a part of the Blogher community and I enjoy reading other moms in the Blogher Network.

• Groups Targeting Mothers

MOPS is an organization to help you find other moms in your community. Stroller Fit leads you in workouts while pushing your baby in a stroller. You could join a La Leche League Group for breastfeeding mothers or find a playgroup in your area on Meetup.com.

• Your Neighborhood

Meeting your neighbors can be tricky, because you have catch them while they are outside. I met one mom at the playground. I stopped another mom while she was out walking. I am sure some of them think I am nuts, but I know where I can go if I need just a teaspoon of vanilla to finish my batter (true story). Just knowing who our immediate neighbors are is helpful and may even help you find a babysitter if one of them has a teenager looking for some cash.

• Church

A local church can be a great place to find other mothers who live around you. I have at least 5 friends that I met at church within a five-minute drive from me that I know I can call on if I need some help. During Hurricane Ike my friend Kara came over at the last minute to help me clean my house to get ready for guests. Depending on the size of the church it can be hard to meet people on a Sunday morning and you may have to attend an activity, a class, a life group, or a small group. Going to a small group can be difficult with kids bedtimes and schedules, but making time for meeting and connecting with people is worth the effort to have community.

So where do you find community? Do you feel supported or this something that you have to work at?

When I had my daughter I knew I would be traveling to the Philippines 7 months later and breastfeeding would be the easiest way to travel with her. So in those first few months I had to become proficient at breastfeeding in public places, because I didn’t know where I would be when I had to nurse Annabelle.

I am an incredibly modest person and I didn’t necessarily want to nurse in front of other men on a mission trip, but I had to learn how to nurse modestly. After the research I had done, I was surprised to find breastfeeding really common in the Philippines and some women would nurse while sitting in the church sanctuary. I wasn’t quite that brave.

Here is what I learned about nursing in public in the 14 months I nursed my daughter.

1. Be Confident. If you aren’t ashamed, then every one else will pick up on that vibe and they won’t be weirded out either. Besides, there is nothing to be ashamed about anyway!  I never made a big deal about it and I tried to be as discreet as possible.

2. Wear the right clothes. I never wanted to show my tummy gleaming with silvery lines on my stomach, so I would strategically wear clothes that I wouldn’t have to pull up my shirt. I would often wear a nursing bra or a nursing camisole under a shirt I could button down or had a large V-neck. Or I would wear a nursing camisole under a t-shirt and I could lift up the t-shirt without exposing my belly.

3. Use a nursing cover. I don’t think I ever nursed in public without one. I always felt confident that I was covered up and if my boob was out no one could see it. I used a cover that had a wire on top that bent to create a u-shape that I could look down into and make sure that my baby was doing alright. I bought mine here, but you can also buy some beautiful ones at Tot-to-Go.

4. Find a chair in a nursing room, restroom, or a changing room while traveling around town. I would sometimes plan my outings around Babies R Us, because they have a comfortable nursing room with a rocking chair. No one ever noticed that I wouldn’t buy anything. I would also scope out and make mental notes of restrooms that had a chair or couch in the ladies room. Sometimes I would just find an out of the way bench or nursed in the car. I think the more I nursed the more bold I became about where I nursed.

5. Practice! It took me a few times to practice holding my baby, putting the nursing cover on, and getting my boob out of my clothes. I would practice at parties or at homes with men around, so I could become more comfortable with it. I remember practicing at Ikea and it was one of the first times I had used my cover and I flashed my boob to Ikea somehow in the process.  I don’t think anyone cared.

Here is a very blurry photo of me nursing on a Jeepney…

…with about 20 other people on board. I think this is the weirdest place I ever nursed.

Need more information? Check out this awesome video by Susanne Carvin. I watched it when I first started nursing and I found it really helpful!

Did you (do you) nurse in public? Are you shy about it or was it not a big deal? Where is the weirdest place you ever nursed?