The Mom Crowd

Recently someone asked me, “What determines your success as a parent?” I immediately thought about when I worry and my husband tells me, “Ace is okay and she is growing and doing well. You are doing a great job. Don’t worry.” So my answer to the question was my daughter is alive and healthy and developing, so I must be doing a good job. Those first appointments at the Pediatrician’s office felt like my scorecard. My daughter’s weight indicated that I was doing a good job feeding her. She passed all the developmental milestones, so I was doing great. Right?

John MacArthur says, “Success in parenting is measured by what the parents do, not by what the child does.”

My daughter’s development, behavior, and weight are not true reflections of how well I am doing as a parent. What matters most is that I am doing all I can to ensure her well-being and to raise her according to the standards that my family agrees upon. McKenna’s post about Mommy Guilt quoted an article by Lori Radun. Part of the quote says, “acknowledge that you are not responsible for everything your child(ren) do.” We are responsible for some things that our children do, but not everything. We can’t control every health issue and behavior in our children.

There is freedom when you realize that even if your child doesn’t turn out the way you guide them, you are still a success because you loved and disciplined them the best you knew how. My desire is that my daughter will be a woman of integrity, compassionate, unselfish and generous. If she does not exhibit those characteristics doesn’t mean I am not a success as a parent. Those traits are up to her. I can only guide her and be an example myself. Then I am a success as a parent.

How about you? How do you determine if you are a success as a parent? Do you agree with John MacArthur’s quote?