Taking the Kids to the Movies
Last weekend I saw Iron Man with a friend. (It was awesome!!) After the credits rolled, I saw a dad leave the theater with his son, who couldn’t have been older than 6. My friend and I looked at one another and agreed, “Yeah, not exactly kids’ stuff, what we just saw.” It was loud, exciting fun, that’s for sure, full of adventure and humor. But it included some (PG-13 level) scenes of torture, violence, sex, and drinking, all things I’d prefer my child to not witness at such a young age. Just because it’s a comic book movie doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for a child.
We’ve all been there before, seeing children in the audience for movies that are just too mature for them. I remember seeing Mean Girls (PG-13) a few years ago, and while I found it entertaining, I was more disturbed to see the 7 and 8-year olds next to me watching with wide-eyed wonderment. With their moms. Really? The whole movie was a primer on how to manipulate your friends. Of course, older people can pick up on the sarcasm, the satire, the dark comedy, the lessons learned. Little girls, I fear, just study the clothes, the catchphrases, and the attitudes. Not to mention every little thing Lindsay Lohan does. I tried to assure myself that those moms would talk to their girls afterwards about the good and the bad in the movie. But what’s the likelihood of that happening?
I saw the first Narnia movie (PG) with a child no older than 5 sitting behind me. Naturally, she cried throughout several portions of the film. It’s seen as a family film, but frankly, there’s just a lot of visually scary stuff for a young child to take in. I read that Prince Caspian, opening today, is a little darker than the first and heavier on battle scenes, yet it’s also rated PG, so doubtless there will be many families in the theaters this weekend eager to see what happens next in the saga. It’s an excellent franchise, for sure, but for kids how old?
I think the biggest shock I ever had was watching a mom buy a ticket for The 40-Year Old Virgin (R) for herself and her middle-school aged son. Maybe that’s some kind of progressive parenting technique I haven’t heard of yet, but you can bet your Schrute Bucks that I won’t be doing that kind of thing with my kids.
How young is too young? The first movie I remember seeing in the theater as a child was Bambi. I was probably 7ish. I also remember seeing the first part of The Neverending Story and being scared, so my mom, sister, & I left early. I was 8. These kids’ movies both contained material that was plenty mature for my young years. My folks would allow me to see something rated PG-13 only under the most limited of circumstances, and even in high school, still had a say in what movies I saw. (I remember explaining very thoroughly what In the Name of the Father [R] was about to my dad one Friday night, because I desperately wanted to see that with my friends. I was a senior. He eventually said it’d be okay. And it was a turning point for me; from then on, I was trusted to use my own judgment in choosing movies.)
My daughter is still a couple of years away from her first movie, I think. When we feel she is ready, we’ll probably see something very G, something very sweet. As my kids grow up, I know I’ll be very protective of what they take in, and I’ll make no apologies for it. There is a lot of garbage out there, stuff that is way too mature for kids, marketed directly to them. When I taught sixth graders, I couldn’t believe the movie titles I heard them discussing on a weekly basis: every disgusting horror pic ever made, basically, along with all kinds of teen flicks pandering to kids their age. I wish more parents would think carefully about what they allow their kids to see. People comment a lot about how much young kids know in this day & age, and the movies they watch play a huge part in that.
What is your criteria for taking your kids to movies? Do you read about movie content before taking them? If so, what sites do you use to get the information? Do you base your decisions on the ratings? Is it okay for parents to take their children to PG-13 (or even R) movies as long as they are there with them? Tell me I’m not the only one concerned about this issue. (And for goodness’ sakes, we haven’t even touched the inappropriateness of t.v. yet. I thought I’d limit the soapbox for film first.)
p.s. I’m well aware that lots of kids buy tickets for one thing and see something entirely different – so I know there’s only so much a parent can do, too. This concern is mainly addressed at the folks who take their kids to see mature material with them.
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You’re definitely not alone in this. My kids are 6 and 8 and we only take them to G or PG movies, although even PG sometimes makes me cringe – I dunno, the standards seem to be gradually loosening as far as language and messages go.
We have very strict standards. We don’t base our decisions on ratings because frankly nowadays they don’t mean squat. I don’t think parents should even watch shows with their kids with questionable content. Kids need to be innocent as long as possible. It is soon enough that they will grow learning and knowing about things like crude language, sex, and violence. Why subject them too early?? Many parents do, howevere, and then we wonder why many of today’s youth are so violent, crude, and rude… unsupervised and unlimited viewing of movies, TV, and video games…
Anyway, we watch the movies BEFORE the kids can watch them. We go to http://www.movieguide.org/ to learn more about the morality of the movie. We filter everything through Scripture.
(And yea, we don’t have cable because of the television shows and commercial on TV.)
I have to admit – I actually bought a white belt and white shoes after seeing Rachel McAdam’s character in ‘Mean Girls’ wearing it. I thought it was cool.
Saying that, it will be a long time before Ace watches Mean Girls.
I know of one parent who takes her junior high son to rated-R movies, because she knows that he is going to see them anyway and she would rather it be with her.
I actually can’t wait to take Ace to the movies. So I guess as soon as she can sit through one I’ll be taking her to see something G-rated.
We just took Darah to her very first movie (Horton Hears a Who!) LOVED IT!! I am pretty strict on show viewing with my kids. I was surprised when we saw a very late (after 10pm) showing of the last Harry Potter movie at how many SMALL kids were in the theater. Kids younger than 4!! One mom had her 2 year old with her who started crying before the movie started and they fortunately left, but Harry Potter is dark and scary and it was so bizarre to me. I think parents are way too desensitized these days and it certainly isn’t going to help the next generation. My husband and I are trying to be aware of what WE’RE watching and are not watching overly violent movies. Plugged In (at http://www.family.org) has a great review of every movie, television show, video game, etc. that’s out and gives parents the inside scoop on how many cuss words, sex scenes, violent scenes, etc. and we check it out before we watch anything. They are very conservative, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. JMHO!
“She knows that he is going to see them anyway and she would rather it be with her.” Do boundaries and consequences no longer exist once they hit junior high? We’re so far from junior high, so I’m truly just probing my initial response to that statement and curious what other people think. I’m also on the more strict side of the spectrum, so I know not everyone is as conservative or overly protective as I am as well.
PS: I’ve noticed that for me, R rated movies are usually less “sexed” than PG-13 movies. I rarely watch PG-13!!
We are talking about going to see Ironman this weekend – glad to hear you liked it. Alexis (6) will not be going.
Nice to meet you Amanda! I sooooooo agree with your take on Leslie making a better host/asking better questions than KLG – I was so disappointed with that interview she did with Dooce – I just wanted to wring her neck!!
Thanks so much for stopping by – I hope to see you again soon – Kellan
I agree…there are so many movies now that are just off limits. Hell, I’m 38 and I get embarrassed watching certain movies with my mom!! I can’ttell you how many times my husband and I have been out for a date night movie…eg. sex, violence and grown folks stuff and look up and there are kids in the row in front. But that said, I will admit that my 5 year old son does watch family movies that might be a little scary for other…
Jennifer
http://www.womenwhoroar.squarespace.com and http://itmom.squarespace.com
I’m going to be unpopular here, but I took my 6 year old to Iron Man when it opened. He can handle it and I’m not sorry that I took him. But, that said, there are many other movies I wouldn’t take him to.
I probably won’t take him again for awhile, tho, because he gets squirrelly at a long movie.
Aunt Becky-You are the best person to make the call for when your little guy can see a movie.
We have let our 3 and 4 year old see some of the Star Wars movies because we thought they would be fine with it. And my husband also saw them as a 3ish year old so we of course rationalized that it would be fine to show them to our boys. I was a little worried about Darth Vader scaring them but they were fine. There are other movies out there that I wouldn’t let them see due to violence and/or language even though they think they would love to see them (transformers, for example).
Our rule of thumb is to see it first if we aren’t sure about some of the content or read a review on a family friendly website.
We have taken the boys to G and even some PG movies and even then we don’t like how some of the characters talk to each other. It does provide opportunities to share with the boys how to be respectful to others when they start picking up those rude comments or phrases. Not that I like having to do that. At all. It is inevitable but I think as moms we try to prolong exposure to those negative influences as long as possible. I’d rather them be innocent and clueless of any bad behavior! That said, I also want to create some fun memories and am trying to figure out the balance of not giving into the negative affects of our (oversexed, violent) culture on my kids and creating some fun family time together. Of course there are lots of other things to do than watch movies!
I have to stop typing because I realized I am starting to process what I think and reevaluating what is and isn’t acceptable in my family. Sounds like a conversation needs to be had with the hubby!
count me in the “strict” group. we haven’t seen alvin and the chipmunks because i just don’t think my son needs all that innuendo at 5 years of age. i’m not out to overprotect him. i’d rather discuss things as they come up. i know i can’t shield him from everything. but if it’s blatant, and easy to avoid (because i AM the boss after all) why expose him before his time?
we’ve enjoyed all the pixar movies and most recently, horton. we’re looking forward to wall e this summer, and he’s begging to see speed racer. but some of the movies intended for 8-12 yo’s? probably not this year.