The Mom Crowd

Two days before Christmas, a milestone I have been dreading for more than a year was achieved.  My two year old learned that he was more than capable of getting out of his crib without my help.  I unassumingly went to retrieve him from his nap one day and discovered him waiting by the door for me.  He immediately ran to his crib and said “up” and wanted to show me his newfound skill.  I thought for a second about buying a crib tent for him until we were ready to transition him to a big kid bed, but decided I was only delaying the inevitable.  Anyway, we will be needing his crib for Reese when she comes home in a few months.  So, I set up his twin size bed frame and mattress we already had waiting for him.

We transitioned my daughter out of her crib when she was 18 months old.  There are a couple of reasons she made the move early, but the primary reason was I needed the crib for her brother who was incubating in my womb.  I also was a first time parent who didn’t understand the benefits of waiting for some of those great milestone moments! That being said, I have now successfully transitioned two children from their cribs to big kid beds and bedtime is rarely a difficult task in our house.  I will be fair and admit that I have two children who never been especially difficult to coax to bed.  While my children do not typically fight sleep in our home, they will never sleep in the car (yes, 5  hour round trip day visits with my family are always fun!) and getting them to go to sleep in any bed other than their own is a next to impossible task.  So, my anxiety about transitioning my son to a new bed was warranted. Here is my son’s transition story and some tips that helped us in moving our children from their cribs to big kid beds.

Getting Ready for Your Transition:

• Go overboard on baby proofing!  Put a door knob safety cover on the inside of the door or a baby gate at their door, cover outlets, secure ALL furniture to a wall stud, take away any climbing temptation, eliminate any small or sharp objects in their room, check for strings on pull toys and other choking hazards, and make sure your windows are secure and do not pose a choking hazard (blind cords especially!!!)  Babyproofing should go beyond your child’s bedroom.  Make sure there is a gate at the top of your stairs if you have a two-story home. If you have an alarm for your front, back, and garage doors, be sure to set it.  Wandering children in the middle of the night is never a good thing!
• Limit the number of toys in their room.  Toys can be a big distraction from falling asleep.  My daughter had a small basket of books and a small basket of baby dolls in her room. Gradually, we have increased the number of toys in the bedrooms.

Ready or Not!
Whether your transitioning your child to a toddler size bed or a full size bed, make sure they cannot roll out easily.  We took a very “Super Nanny” approach in our transitions.  We went through our normal bed time routine, informed our children that it was time for sleep, and we encouraged them to stay in their bed.  The first night my son slept in his big boy bed was rough.  He went to bed at his normal bedtime, but every time I left the room, he would get up and cry scream bloody murder by the door.  We watched the clock and every 15 minutes, I would go in his room and place him back in his bed.  I reminded him the first time that it was time for sleep.  After that, I didn’t say anything to him.  I did this about four times and he was not letting up.  So, I decided to go in his room and sit in the dark by the door.  I told him to stay in his bed and he did as long as I was in his room and fell asleep after about 10 minutes.  The next night, we started off with the initial routine from the night before, but after hearing him call for us pitifully saying, “No! Mommy!  No! Daddy!” my husband and I decided that one of us should sit in his room with him until he fell asleep.  He was asleep after 5 minutes of me sitting by his door.  On the third night, he didn’t need me in the room and went straight to bed without any reminders to stay in his bed.

Naptime wasn’t much different.  He isn’t napping as long as he normally did before he moved from his crib, but he is still taking decent naps.  After a couple of days of reminding him it was time for nap and not giving in by taking him downstairs to play, he is now a pro at napping in his new bed.

I think the main reason our children transitioned well is because of our consistency.  While we did give in a little by staying in the room with him until he fell asleep, we didn’t give in by taking him out of his room once it we began bedtime.  He takes us seriously now when we say it’s bedtime and doesn’t put up a fight.  That being said, I think if we had other sleep battles from the get-go this transition would have been much harder.

How was your child’s transition from his crib?  What worked for you during their transition?  What didn’t work for you when you transitioned?  Was your child already a good sleeper when it was time for them to switch beds?

You didn’t miss anything if you didn’t watch the 20/20 special on Extreme Parenthood on Friday night. The show covered the ‘Orgasmic Birth’ documentary, women with baby dolls as babies, extended breastfeeding, surrogate mothers, and finally the ‘Business of Being Born’ documentary. All the segments came from a “What are they thinking?” and judgmental perspective meant to provoke fear. But really, can you expect any more than that from John Stossel?

I soon began following 20/20’s judgmental hinting and wondered about some of the women presented. Like the women caring for dolls as their own babies, but I have to admit I fast forwarded through that segment. I also had an issue who the lady who used her own eggs and inseminated herself in her apartment for her surrogate babies.  I sought to understand why women extend breastfeeding up to 6 years.  The show was shocked and appalled to find women still nursing 2 ½ year olds, but used that as a springboard to other families who are nursing longer.

I found myself agreeing with the women in the two brief segments about birthing. I liked how both of them explained that they don’t want to replace medicine or go back to the olden days, but just want to give women more options when it comes to labor and delivery.

An “Orgasmic Birth” or home delivery isn’t for everyone. However, I think my husband is up for the orgasmic birth experience. He was watching the show with me and said, “Dude, we’re making out during delivery. Hells yeah!”  I am not sure I would really feel comfortable doing that with people watching, no matter how much they told me to “lose my inhibitions” while they lit tea lights around the room and playing some dirty Janet Jackson music.

I found myself relating to the woman in the hot tub when she talked about making her own breathing pattern or Lamaze to relax. I recently told my friend, Kim, about how I made it through birth with no medicine with my breathing patterns. With each contraction I made 10-12 low “O” sounds to get me through them. As I was re-enacting the sound when we started cracking up laughing realizing how sexual they sound when you aren’t in a delivery room.

One of our authors, Amelia, has written about Oxytocin here on The Mom Crowd. She wrote,

“Oxytocin is responsible for producing contractions in the uterus which in turn dilates and thins the cervix so the baby can pass through.  Your body also releases oxytocin when your baby is nursing and when you have an orgasm.”

So it doesn’t surprise me that some women would feel an orgasmic release during labor.

Overall, the show didn’t give you any real useful information. It felt more like entertainment. I just hope people don’t come away from the show linking the crazy baby doll moms with moms who choose to opt to deliver differently. The “hard hitting” journalism of 20/20 was a bit of a disappointment. Maybe Veronica Corningstone from ‘Anchorman’ would have done better job reporting.

• The Crunchy Domestic Goddess also found the show a disappointment. Check out her anticipation of the show here and her re-cap here.

What did you think of the show? What do you think of this new “Orgasmic Birth” phenomenon?

Happy New Year!

“Marilla, isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
-    Anne of Green Gables

I am sure by the time you have read this on New Year’s Day that you may have made a mistake or two. It’s okay. But there is still time to work on the year and save us from paying Stupid Tax with our finances. Making some clear financial goals for your family will empower you to feel in control of your money. Money is fluid and needs to be told where to where to go. Otherwise it just runs through your fingers like water.

There are several bloggers who are bold enough to share with the world their financial goals. One of Heather’s goals at Dime Savin’ Diva is opening a Christmas Club Account. 

“Open Christmas Club account for Christmas money. This would be in addition to our savings and debt snowball, and our goal is a minimum of $40 monthly.”

I would love to save all year for Christmas. Rather than squeaking it out of our budget in December. Really, Christmas isn’t a surprise. It comes at the same time every year!

Tiffanie at We Like Money wants to pay off two credit cards and get her total credit card debt under $10,000.  My husband and I paid off our cards in order of the smallest amount up. While we were paying them off I called to have the APR lowered. They weren’t very kind to me and it gave me more motivation to get them out of my life. Paying off credit cards is an awesome goal.

Megan at Counting My Pennies wants to “Save at least half of this year’s “extra” paychecks plus half of any work-related bonus checks.” If you get paid bi-weekly and base your budget on two paychecks a month, then a few months a year you get paid a third time in the month. Saving money from these “extra” checks is a great idea.

Frugal Babe is saving $200 a month into their car savings account. I know this is something that we are going to need to do soon, if I want to buy a Sequoia in cash. How awesome will it be to walk into a dealership with cash in hand and haggle? No arguing over APR rates while hoping you get a good “deal.” Frugal Babe is also saving for solar panels!

I’ve Paid For This Twice Already… is working on Student Loan Debt. She shares some great advice about their efforts, “As long as we keep focused on moving forward.” I agree! We just need to stay focused and moving forward in our goals even if we mess up.

Here are 14 goals that I came up with that may help you pick your financial goals for 2009!

1. Make a plan to pay X amount of dollars per month towards your debt all year. Stick to it!

2. No Insufficient Fund (NSFs) charges for 2009.

3. Start an Education Savings Account (ESA) for each child.

4. Track your spending for 3 months using Quicken or Mint.com.

5. Create a written budget before the 1st of the month and list it in priority order to get paid.

6. Create a Christmas fund and put at least X amount of dollars a month into it.

7. Have a monthly budget meeting with your spouse before the first of the month.

8. Only use a cash system for groceries, dining, and clothing.

9. Change your W-4 if you are expecting a large return, then you can bring more money home each month.

10. Create a Love Folder before the end of March.

11. Read a financial book such as: The Millionaire Next Door, The Wealthy Barber, Richest Man in Babylon, Your Money or Your Life, Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Maker Over or Financial Peace Revisited.

12. Reduce fixed expenses by 10% per month. Look at your mobile phone bill or cable options, shop around insurances, save on electricity in your house by weather stripping, etc.

13. Create a Giving Fund and give to causes that you believe in.

14. Attend Financial Peace University class or a Dave Ramsey Live Event.

Hopefully a few of these will give you a jump-start in your goal planning. My husband and I will be finalizing our goals soon. One of our goals is to finish our last debt item, Sallie Mae. Although, I am not sure she will be completely gone at the end of this year, but we can set a goal to have that debt to a certain number and take chunks off of it. I also have a goal to stick to our cash system and not to slip up with our debit card.

Let’s start 2009 financially fit! It is a new year with no mistakes in it… yet!

Are you setting any financial goals this year?

As you can tell I didn’t get my post up about financial goals today. I have them written (really I do), but I just couldn’t make a cohesive post last night or even tonight for that matter. My mom broke her hip and had surgery to place a pin in it yesterday.

On Sunday my 56-year-old mom got stuck in the hallway and couldn’t move while we were making the four hour drive home to San Antonio from visiting my parents for Christmas. Apparently she had fallen about 2 weeks ago and didn’t tell anyone and she was finally in severe pain. Luckily my brother and sister cajoled her to go to the Emergency Room Sunday night. Turns out that it was broken and she had surgery. We drove back to Houston the next day.

Before I even knew about the hip stuff I had planned on coming back to Houston to clean my parent’s house before I gave birth. I just didn’t know it would be so soon. Today is the only day that my Super Duper Cleaner Sister-in-law was able to help clean the house. My mother is a pack rat and her ability to adequately clean after three inside dogs, three cats, four fish tanks, and one bird cage has waned over the years. We attacked today. I threw out tons of garbage and stuff I hope my mom doesn’t miss. She is also diabetic and I had at least one garbage bag full of sweets. She may buy them again, but at least it will be fresh sweet stuff.

My mom is doing well. She refused therapy this morning, but did get up for physical therapy this afternoon. It will still be a while before she is home and walking. She thinks she is going to be home in a couple of days. I am not looking forward to the fight about going into the inpatient rehab facility. But that is for another day.

One more thing, did I mention that my family has lots of family drama and I am the only one that everyone is speaking to? I get to be a peacemaker and go-between in all of this. Oh, and I am 30 weeks pregnant and I have a toddler with me. Needless to say, I am exhausted.

Thanks for letting me whine a little here at The Mom Crowd. I am sure I am not the only child to have to start caring for a parent or has to do their own version of Clean Sweep on their parents house.

I am taking a break from visiting and cleaning tomorrow afternoon and I am looking forward to finishing up my goals series. Please come back soon and check them out!

The New Year is a great time to reflect on 2008 and set goals for 2009. But why should we add more pressure to our lives by setting goals that we may or may not obtain? Goal setting helps you focus your energy and set your priorities. You take control of your actions and time, rather than letting time and money slip through your hands wondering where it all went at the end of the year.

Accomplishing goals boosts your self-confidence and gives you a ton of motivation to make your life better. Even if you are satisfied with how your life is going, setting a goal and the challenge of seeing if you can meet them is incredibly motivating and enjoyable.

The key to taking pride in meeting your goals is to set SMART goals. Don’t just throw random resolutions into the void hoping that they will somehow be met. Create goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely.

One goal that my husband set for himself was to read one non-fiction book a month for the entire year.  He could have said, “I would like to read more non-fiction books this year,” but how would he have known if he met it?  His goal is SMART.

The goal: To read one non-fiction book a month for the entire year.

specific: one non-fiction book
measurable: one book a month for the year
attainable: challenging to find time to read, but not too far from reach
realistic: reading non-fiction isn’t a chore for him
timely: there is a timeframe for his goal.

On New Year’s Day last year my husband and I found a family member to babysit our baby while we went out to lunch and discussed our goals for the year. We will probably do the same this year. We set goals as a family and separately as individuals.

Sharing our goals with each other brings us closer together in our marriage. He also holds me accountable for mine, but only if I ask to hold me accountable! Conversely I don’t nag him either. It is just a fun exercise to even express our goals and dream out loud to each other. We like to set goals for different categories such as physical, financial, spiritual, social and intellectual.

Over the next three days I am going to post ideas for SMART goals in the financial, physical, and intellectual categories. I hope you come back and join me as we discuss our goals in these three areas!