Listening To Your Instinct
You know how they say that hindsight is 20/20? Sometimes I wish I had a chart on how many times I would have avoided something had I listened to my instinct that something wasn’t quite right. I think that we were created with an ability to detect problems and sense things in our children so that we can protect them. Haven’t you ever had your “mama bear” come out when your child needed you? Maybe another child was hitting your kid at the playground or another family member was taking a dig at your little one. Aren’t we willing to go to great costs to protect our children? If you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, we have been given a gift to know when something is right with our kids–emotionally, physically, mentally. I know there have been times when others have told me that everything was probably fine when it turns out that it wasn’t. Sometimes others doubt our instinct. Sure, we aren’t right 100% of the time–but I am a big believer in listening to your gut.
We took the baby to the ophthalmologist today because I finally listened to my instinct. Several months ago I noticed that Graham’s right eye looked crossed when he would turn his head to look at something. When I brought it up to the pediatrician he said he thought it was probably pseudostrabismus which is basically an illusion of the eyes crossing. He told us to watch and see if the light reflection in the irises of the eyes was in the same place and that if it wasn’t it to set up an appointment for a pediactric ophthalmologist. He felt pretty certain that it was pseudostrabismus since Graham’s eyes seemed normal otherwise and we couldn’t get him to do it in the office. Trying to find the reflection of light in the eyes is very difficult to do in a baby because they don’t tend to stay in one place for long. We started watching for the light reflection in his eyes and from what we could tell it seemed like pseudostrabismus. But something in my gut was telling me to call the eye doctor. My husband and I kept paying attention and trying to get the baby to turn his head to make his eye cross. I had a feeling I should call just to get a second opinion and then one day my husband noticed the light reflection wasn’t in the same place in his eyes. So I set up the appointment.
It turns out that Graham has Duane Syndrome. It is not a serious condition–and the problem isn’t that his right eye crosses–it is that his left eye can’t move to the right or left very well. It can only look straight ahead so it looks like his other eye is crossing in.There is no treatment for it because the nerves that control the muscles were miswired while developing in the womb. There is a possibility that surgery could be needed later if he has to keep his head turned in order to see straight. While I was listening to the doctor tell me about the syndrome I was so thankful that I took him in. I was glad I listened to my instinct to get it checked out. Now I know what is wrong with his eyes and I know what problems to look out for. And now I won’t worry that something really is wrong even though the pediatrician said it was probably fine.
I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby, Ewan, we had been going to an OB recommended to us by a friend. As we went through our childbirth classes and I was learning about all the different options I had for labor and birth I started feeling like sticking with that OB would not have been a good choice. I started feeling like I would have ended up with a general barking orders at me while he gave me an unwanted episiotomy. So we switched to another OB and ended up having a great birth where I felt safe and in control. Of course it is hard to say what would have happened exactly had we stayed with the other doctor but my instinct told me to switch and I am glad I did! It started me on a journey to help women be empowered to birth their babies.
Instinct is a very powerful thing. Especially when it comes to protecting our children or ensuring what is best for them. So, if you have that nagging feeling in your gut about something, listen to it. Get it checked out–even if others are telling you different. Maybe it will turn out to be nothing but you might be right and you’ll be glad you did.
What stories do you have where you listened to your gut and were glad you did?
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Amelia, I’m glad to hear that Graham’s eye situation isn’t too terribly serious. Nice job on getting him checked out.
Recently we were fighting our gut instinct, which was to have Eli get tubes put in his ears. I thought it would be a hassle or really painful for him or ultimately unnecessary. But when we came around, we realized we were wrong on every count. It was easy, it didn’t hurt him at all and there were zero side effects, and it helps him hear better. His vocabulary is already growing steadily as a result, too.
I am very glad too that Graham’s eye isn’t very serious. Sometimes that extra doc’s visit is worth it!
I hope Graham’s eye isn’t a problem for him!
I am totally with you on the instinct thing – Inigo is only 9 months old and I’ve already had two serious issues where my instinct saved him.
The first was before he was born, I noticed that his movement was reduced, I took myself off to hospital and they decided that I needed an emergency c/s. He had aspirated meconium, spent a week on oxygen – but we were lucky that he has no long term consequences. Because I trusted my instincts, we got him out quickly, and his lungs are healthy and strong.
Three months later, he stopped gaining weight. Doctors told me he was fine, paediatricians treated me like a pathetic, paranoid first time mother. One even told me that giving him some rice cereal (at 4 months old) would “soon sort him out”.
I listened to my instincts, insisted on seeing another paed – who took me seriously. She sent him off for a raft of tests, and we finally found out that he had a bladder infection. By the time we had a diagnosis, and started anti-biotics, he was well below the third percentile for weight, and he had to be hospitalised to have his weight gain supervised.
Of course, I was also under scrutiny for neglect/abuse, which really added to the strain – but if I hadn’t trusted my instinct (and the first experience really helped with that), it could have been so much worse.
Now of course, he’s going great guns, and I have to let go of my paranoia!