Does It Get Easier When They Get Older?
Ace is six months old. I am still learning how to balance taking care of her and the house during the day. I could get things done while she naps, but then I end up either napping myself or justify taking a break. I sometimes think I will fold that basket of laundry after I lay her to bed, but then I usually get distracted.
Maybe getting the house in order is low on my priority list. I am home now and I don’t feel like I am living up to that part of the job. Is managing the house part of the job?
At the end of the day, Ace is great. She is fed and taken care of. Does staying home and managing the household get easier when they get older?
Does balancing the house and taking care of a baby depend on your cleaning and organization style? If I liked to clean, would I be more motivated to get it done? If my husband was more worried about the house would I be more motivated to get laundry/organized/dishes done?
I don’t expect all of these to be answered. Do you have any thoughts? If you stay home, what was it like when you first started?
P.S. I have written about this before. I guess I am still struggling with it. This is what came to mind when I thought about writing.
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I think you find what fits for you. My husband really likes the house clean. He would rather come home to a clean house than a hot meal on the table…which works for me because I really struggle with the cooking part of managing the home. I feel like I don’t do a very good job at preparing meals for my family and have those same feeling you have about housework with dinner! He doesn’t nag me about it at all, but he is certainly in a better mood when the house is clean, and so am I. For me, I prioritize the cleaning. I like to have the downstairs very clean at all times in case someone stops by. My upstairs is a different story, however! You have a bigger downstairs than me, though, so maybe focus on one room that is always sparkling. You’re doing a great job and have a lot on your plate! It’s ok if housework isn’t on the top of your list!
I am the WORST housekeeper I know, and with two young kids, I can easily go the whole day without doing a single chore around the house (other than taking care of the kids). When we lived overseas we had a maid come once a week to clean the house b/c we were in school full time (and it would only cost $11 for 3 hours of cleaning), but here in the States, it’s too expensive, and I don’t have the “school” excuse.
The only way I can keep things clean is doing the same “little things” every day, around the same time of day (like tidying up toys, always done right before bath time), and have one day a week where I do the “big” things (laundry, cleaning, etc). I doubt it gets easier when the kids leave; you just get to a point where you say, “OK, I’m going to train myself to do this.” Some people do it while they’re kids are young, some do it when their kids get to school, and some NEVER do it! Messes have never really bothered me much, but dirtiness does, so I tend to do the cleaning chores with more enthusiasm than, say, the tidying up chores.
i think it really is all about your personal preferences. i prefer neatness, my husband couldn’t care less. but we do find that if we pick up everything in the main room before we go to bed, we enter that room happier the following morning.
i’m like you amanda, i hardly ever put the laundry away. it’s either in baskets, clean & folded (i got that far!), or on the floor in a dirty pile because the clean clothes haven’t yet been put away. for me, it’s because i never really go to our room during the day, so that room suffers the most. i generally work to keep the guest bathroom, kitchen, and living room clean. the rest, well, i’ll just have to do it when i feel like it.
go easy on yourself. it only gets harder when you add another baby to the mix!
@McKenna, Sharon, and Dawn –
McKenna, Thanks for the tip and encouragement! I asked Daniel if he would rather have a clean house or a hot meal when he got home. He said he would rather have a hot meal. I do think I have been doing pretty good on that front. My cooking has definitely gotten better!
Sharon, I am so glad I am not alone! We have had a maid come to help do the big things once or twice, but I can’t always justify the expense. Doing “little things” everyday is a great idea. I also probably need to train myself as well!
Dawn, I agree that if I just keep the living room neat and the dining table clear Daniel and I are much happier people. One day Daniel came in and I only picked up. I didn’t have a chance to wipe everything down and he said “Oooh, you cleaned!” when I didn’t do that much. Thanks for the reminder to go easy on myself! I need that reminder often!
I read something really funny one time….A woman for 25 years tricked her husband into thinking she had spent the whole day cleaning by refilling hidden cups (behind picture frames) with Pine Sol. He would come home with the house smelling freshly cleaned and she spent the day doing whatever she wanted!
I usually do what Sharon and Dawn do. We pick up at the end of the day (and several times in between). I like the kitchen, living room, and dining room to stay picked up. I feel like I am going out of my mind if the house stays too cluttered. With 2 kids who are 3 and 4 they LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to play with one thing and then move onto another without picking up what they WERE playing with. I try really hard to teach them to pick up what they are doing before moving on but it is a constant training!
Now that there are 5 in our family + cloth diapers it seems like we almost always have laundry going. I have one laundry basket (a tall cylinder) and when it gets full we start laundry. Diapers get done every few days.
Ever since adding Graham to the family we are in the season of a less than “my preferred”standard of clean but I do try to do the big stuff once a week. Cooking, grocery shopping, and cleaning do get harder with every child you add–that is for sure! I just have to keep telling myself to bask in the grace of God and that he still loves me even when my house isn’t as clean as I would like it to be and the chores aren’t done in a “timely” manner.