The Mom Crowd

I live in San Antonio, TX, home to the Alamo, warm weather, and Mexican food. Naturally, a cold margarita goes with the latter two. When I was pregnant with my first child all I wanted was a cold, sour, lime margarita from Paloma Blanca. So before we started trying for our second child my husband treated me to one of those margaritas, because I knew it was going to be a while before I could have another one after pregnancy and breastfeeding.

Each breastfeeding expert seems to have a different stance on drinking alcohol. March of Dimes says absolutely no drinking. La Leche League says to consider factors such as your weight, the baby’s weight and age, the amount consumed and how long after drinking you nurse. Dr. Jack Newman says some alcohol is okay, “Prohibiting alcohol is another way we make life unnecessarily restrictive for nursing mothers.”  Other folks say as long you don’t feel drunk you are okay to nurse. Each mother needs to weigh the risks and decide for themselves.

In my own experience I don’t drink any alcohol until my baby is sleeping through the night and down to about 2 or 3 feedings a day. This way I can be sure that I am not putting my baby in any unnecessary risk.  While I wait a few months until that time comes I have to find other ways to enjoy a night out, relax, or have fun at party.

Here are 5 alternatives to drinking alcohol while pregnant.

1. Enjoy a non-alcoholic drink.

When I was pregnant and on a date with my husband I sometimes felt silly ordering a virgin strawberry daiquiri. It wasn’t the same. I would suggest ordering a special lemonade or any other kind of fruity beverage. Maybe even the waiter could help choose a good non-alcoholic drink from the bar that is not on the menu. If you live near a Sonic Drive-In, stop by and get a fun beverage before a party.

You can also make your own fun drink at home. Here are 5 recipes from the 734 non-alcoholic drinks listed on drinksmixer.com:

Bora Bora

serve in Highball Glass
Scale ingredients to servings
10 cl pineapple juice
6 cl passion-fruit juice
1 cl lemon juice
1 cl grenadine syrup
Prepare in a blender or shaker, serve in a highball glass on the rocks. Garnish with 1 slice of pineapple and one cherry.

Afterglow

Serve in Highball Glass
Scale ingredients to servings
1 part grenadine syrup
4 parts orange juice
4 parts pineapple juice
ice
Mix. Serve over ice.

Canadian Pride

Scale ingredients to servings
2/3 oz maple syrup
3 oz grapefruit juice
3 oz dry ginger ale
Shake and strain into a collins glass three-quarters filled with broken ice. Add the ginger ale, and garnish with a slice of grapefruit.

Classy Cricket

serve in Collins Glass
4 oz pineapple juice
1 oz creme de coconut
1 splash cranberry juice
2 grenadine syrup
1 oz cherry juice
cherry garnish
In Collins glass, or tall cocktail glass, add all ingredients over ice. Transfer to shaker and shake well. Pour entire contents into glass and serve. You may garnish with a Marischino Cherry if desired.

Lemon Daisy

serve in White Wine Glass
Scale ingredients to servings
3/4 oz fresh lemon juice
1/2 oz grenadine syrup
1/2 oz simple syrup
7-Up® soda
soda water
Stir the lemon juice, grenadine and simple syrup together in a white wine glass. Add ice, top with equal parts 7-up and soda water, and serve.

2. Chocolate, Ice Cream or Dessert

Unwind in the evenings with a piece of chocolate. Splurge on a fancy chocolate bar. Make some brownies. Enjoy a small bowl of ice cream. I recently bought a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips. I  leave my bag of chocolate chips in the fridge and I snack on a few every now and then. If you are out on a date get dessert instead of a drink. You may not get to enjoy a fizzy or icy beverage, but you can look forward to the delight of a delicious dessert at the end of a meal.

3. Tonic Water with a Lemon

This tip comes from personaltrainerz.com if you are going out to a bar with friends and you don’t want to make a big deal about not drinking. (Although, I can’t remember the last time I have done that!) The author says, “Take a moment to talk to the bartender, tip him a little and make sure he keeps you full or Tonic Water & Lemon all night. Your buddies will think it’s a Gin & Tonic or Vodka Tonic and won’t give you much lip.”

4. Order an appetizer

If you aren’t into sweets and having a dinner at a restaurant order a yummy appetizer that you wouldn’t normally order. Sometimes, I am bummed that I can’t order a drink while my husband enjoys his beverage.  So I will treat myself to a little something extra to make up for it.

5. Enjoy an activity that relaxes you

Mothers want a glass of wine or a little something to unwind from the day. Instead of using a beverage to unwind find an activity that will help. This could be reading a book, taking a long shower, watching your favorite TV show (*cough* Late Night With Jimmy Fallon), having a quiet time, or taking a walk.

Sometimes it does stink when you want a drink and you can’t have one, but the benefits of breastfeeding is worth it! I am always encouraged that I won’t be breastfeeding forever. While I love that I get to breastfeed, I am glad it comes to an end eventually!

What decision have you made about drinking alcohol while breastfeeding? What do you do instead of drinking? Do ever feel bummed that you can’t sometimes?

We are moving to England in one month.  One month!  I am excited but our checklist seems to be growing instead of shrinking.  To move a family overseas there are a lot of details and things to take into consideration as you decide what to bring.  We are moving there for 4 years while my husband gets his PhD.  We’re moving into  furnished family housing through the university so some of the complication of buying furniture is lessened.

Here are some helpful tips we’ve either learned or done along the way:

1. Start working on getting your Visa early.  And ask someone who has filled one out to help you if you need it.  Visas are complicated and take a lot of time to fill out. Depending on your reason for moving overseas the Visa application will vary.  We are going on a student Visa so we had to provide proof that we could pay for the first year of school in cash.  That may mean borrowing money from the bank, friends, or family so you can have cash in your bank account.  If you are planning on moving for work then I’m sure the process is a little different.  Jon had to make an appointment at a consulate to get his fingerprints taken for the Visa process.  After he did that he had exactly 2 weeks to get ALL the correct paperwork in.  Like I said, start working on the paperwork part early because you don’t want anything to go wrong when you are working on a timeline.  If things go wrong, and your Visa is not approved due to paperwork issues, you have to start all over (including paying for it).
2. Work on getting your passports early.  Enough said about that.
3. Don’t buy your plane tickets until your Visa is approved and you have a known date approved for your arrival.  It just makes moving abroad easier.
4. Consider bringing a combination of duffle bags and crates instead of suitcases for your plane trip.  We bought 5 tickets so we have an allowance of 10 checked bags.  We opted for duffle bags because they hold a lot and are light, which means we can stuff more in without the weight limitations of a suitcase (ever noticed that they weigh a lot on their own without clothes in them?).  We purchased some crates that can be locked after going through customs.  We haven’t gone through a “dry packing run” yet (see next point) but we are planning on using the crates to pack some toys and other large items that may do better in a box rather than a duffle bag.  Keep a list of things other than clothing that you are bringing with you to go through customs in case you need it.
5. As your move date gets closer, try a dry run pack to see what changes you need to make with whatever you are planning on bringing with you.  Stock up on space bags to have more room for your clothes.
6. Learn about the weather in the country you are moving to.  England’s weather is much more mild than Texas–or Pittsburgh for that matter.  We acquired a lot of good winter/cool weather clothes while we were in Pittsburgh but I have recently learned that the summer weather in Durham (city we are moving to) is more like Fall weather.  Our friends who live there have posted pictures of themselves wearing long pants and long sleeved shirts or sometimes t-shirts.  There have been a few warmer days where they have worn shorts and short sleeves.  Knowing the weather helps you decide what clothes to pack.  It would be foolish to take up a lot of packing room with Texas summer clothes when we will need clothes for cooler weather while living in England.
7. Go online and check prices for things like clothes and shoes for kids and adults.  At least in the UK, clothes and shoes are very expensive.  We will take advantage of using the charity shops for clothing, or waiting until we come back to visit to buy clothes for the kids.  We talked to a friend who lives in Whales as a missionary and she said to make sure that we get our shoes for the kids in the States before we move.  The quality of shoes and what you pay for them doesn’t compare to what you can get here in the States.
8. Investigate weight limitations for luggage on the plane so you can decide if it is “cheaper” to pay for overweight bags or shipping them ahead of time.  Shipping things to the UK is not cheap so we are planning on going over the weight limit if we have to.
9. Plan on taking advantage of the 2 carry on items per person.  Even though it will be difficult to get down the aisle carrying the 2 carry ons the kids are each allowed we will be taking advantage of that and carrying on valuables, important documents, and items necessary for traveling on a long plane flight with 3 kids.
10. Having a friend who lives in the country you are moving to helps a LOT.  If it is also someone who moved to the country then that is even better.  We have friends who moved there the year before we did and they have been life savers!  They have connected us with other families who have finished their degrees and selling their stuff for cheap.  We have bought several kitchen items and a few pieces of extra furniture.
11. Check online for the different stores and their prices so you can plan a budget for repurchasing the things you need once you are there.  We are planning on bringing a set of sheets and a towel for each person in our family but my friend who is there has also found a place that sells sheets for cheap.  We may decide to buy an extra set of sheets for the kids when we are there. Find out about the country’s version of “good will” so you can hit those when you arrive to purchase goods and save money.  In England they have many “charity shops” where you can buy appliances, furniture, clothing etc.
12. We sold most of our furniture when we left Pittsburgh.  (For those of you who don’t know, we left Pittsburgh in June and came to Texas to spend the summer with friends and family before leaving for England.)  We decided that paying for storage while we were gone was too expensive.  We got rid of a LOT of stuff other than furniture and there was something quite freeing about getting rid of so much stuff (I digress).  I kept all of our kitchen stuff, dining room table and chairs, china cabinet, and beds.  When we come back we will have a lot of things to rebuy–but we are essentially trusting God to provide for us when we return.  We know a family who had a friend from church that owns a storage facility and gave them a super discount on storing their belongings while overseas.  We asked around our church hoping to get lucky in that regard so we wouldn’t have to sell so much stuff and rebuy it later but that didn’t work out.  Some people ship all their things overseas with them.  The Dean President of my husband’s seminary moved here several years ago only planning on staying for 4 years but now they are here indefinitely.  They brought everything with them even though they were only planning on being in the states for a few years.  It is an option if you want bring all your stuff with you.
13. Before you leave the States, take everyone to get eye, dental, and well-visits at the doctor.  Depending on the country you plan on moving to, the health care system is probably very different and it is good to get in those visits before moving.  Get online and learn about the health care system in the country you are moving to.  You’ll need to find out if you will qualify for their national plan or if you will have to budget for health insurance costs.
14. If you are planning on bringing electronics like computers or your Wii (haha!  We are totally bringing ours) then you’ll need to investigate getting the appropriate plugs for them.  In the UK the voltage is different not to mention the shape of the plugs so you need voltage converters and plug adapters.  Some electronics are set to work at a higher voltage and have the converters in them so you just need a plug adapter.  It’s confusing, I know.  That is why you need to investigate!
15. Bring movies/music for your family in those cd storage books.  Saves on space!
16. Buy a Rick Steves travel book about the country you are moving to if it is available.  It will help you discover all kinds of fun things to do in your new city and it often has some money saving tips on travel.

I may have to make this a two part series because there is so much to plan when you move overseas!

I know at least one of our readers has moved overseas a few times (Sharon!).  Have any other helpful tips to add to this list? Know anyone who has moved overseas?

We have all been there before – you have done everything you can possibly think of and your baby is still crying. They have a clean diaper, they have been fed, burped, they aren’t sleepy, have clean clothes, temperature is right, they don’t have a fever, they aren’t constipated, the room is quiet, being held in their favorite position, they are healthy as far you know, and yet they are still crying. I would like to suggest another tool for your tool belt – prayer.

In the 5 months of my son’s life there have been times when Roman will cry uncontrollably. I can tell it is a different cry than when he is hungry or sleepy. It’s heartbreaking and nerve racking at the same time. So when my son is in this mood all I can think to do is pray. I also feel like he picks up on my stress level. If I am calm, then he will be more likely to calm down. So first I calm myself. Then I hold him in a quiet room in a comfortable position and I pray to God.

Here are some of the things I have prayed.

• I pray against any fear that he may have. Sometimes I think he becomes afraid and that is why he is crying. I don’t know why this prayer works, but it does.  I actually say out loud, “I pray against a spirit of fear.” And then reassure my son that he has nothing to fear, that we aren’t going to leave him and I will always be with him.

• I pray for peace. I pray that his little body will have peace. I say the words, “peace and relax” in a soothing voice over and over. Even saying the words to myself, gives me peace.

• I pray for healing. Sometimes I think he may not be feeling well and I have no way of knowing what is bothering him. So I pray a general prayer asking God to heal whatever is ailing my son.

• I ask the Holy Spirit to comfort my son. In the Bible the Holy Spirit is called the Great Comforter. I believe that the Holy Spirit can comfort my baby in a way that I can not spiritually, so I ask for his help.

• I pray that my son would know how much he is loved. His father and I love him a lot, so do family and friends, and his Creator. I believe that babies find great comfort and peace when they feel loved and when they are told they are loved.

These five ideas for prayer aren’t new, but they are a good reminder to pray when your baby is flipping out.  Now what to pray when a toddler is flipping out and throwing a tantrum is a whole other set of prayers! LOL.

Do you pray for your baby when he or she is crying? What do you pray for?

Earlier this week, Christy shared ideas for helping our little ones and their constipation.  I thought I’d follow that up with my child’s polar-opposite issue: plentiful poop and the yearning to play with it!

My son is two, and the discovery of his feces is nothing out of the ordinary for a child his age.  About 3 months ago, it happened for the first time: I’d go into his room to get him up from his afternoon nap only to find him sitting there, somewhat happily, in the middle of a poop-smeared crib.  Poop everywhere: on the sheets, the pillows, the stuffed animals, the railings, his hands, feet, legs, and fingernails.  Mm, mmm, and it smelled good, too.

My daughter had gone through this fecal-phase briefly as well; hers lasted for two or three days.  I expected my son’s fascination to pass just as quickly (no pun intended).  However, it soon became a routine for him.  There was one week wherein I had to disinfect every inch of his room three consecutive days.  Don’t forget the baths and scrubbing of the tub each time as well.

Our solution then was to put pajama pants on our boy every time he goes to bed, even when it’s hot.  (The a/c has to be turned down a little more every afternoon at naptime as a result.)  We still do this on a daily basis.  The pants deter him from digging.  Occasionally, I forget to put the pants on, or I think he might not need them anymore.   And those are the same occasions when I realize PANTS ARE NECESSARY.  FOR THE LOVE OF LYSOL, PUT THE BOY’S PANTS ON!!  Will I never learn? 

What To Expect the Toddler Years was my first stop for information.  Many of their suggestions were things we’d already instituted, including

• fastening diapers securely so access to the goods is limited or impossible
• recognizing patterns in bowel movements in order to predict and circumvent future occurrences
• providing the child with healthy and better-smelling tactile play activities (like dough, finger paint, sand, etc.)

Out of curiosity, I Googled this topic, and started with the words “kids who play…”  All kinds of responses were listed in the drop-down window, and I was amused to find that “kids who play with poop” is just sixth on the list.  The search led me to Babycenter.com’s Q & A on toddler poop-playing, and the solution with the highest success rate is to give the toddler a brief cold shower after the poop-cident.  Although it seems a bit extreme, I can see how a desperate parent would want to find an effective consequence for a child who is passionate about playing with his or her BM’s.

What do you think, Mom Crowd?  Have you faced this issue?  What worked for you and your child?  And do any of you have coupons for Febreeze?  I sure go through a lot of it!

photo courtesy mrsmecomber

Every kid goes through the rite of passage of losing their baby teeth and growing into their adult teeth.  They also go through that awkward phase of having big and little teeth cluttering their mouths.  My oldest discovered his first loose tooth today and I find myself thinking back on my own childhood.  

My mom made a tooth fairy pillow for me.  I remember her doing all the needlepoint and sewing the pillow together.  She kept it all these years and gave it to me last year anticipating that I may want to use it for my own children as they go through this particular rite of passage.  Seeing the pillow brought back memories of falling asleep excited that I would wake up with the tooth gone from the pocket in the pillow and that it would be replaced with some money.  I don’t remember exactly how much money I got back then but I do remember pulling out a few quarters from the pocket.   I remember that I tried as hard as possible to will myself to wake up and wait for the tooth fairy to come.   I thought she might be as pretty as tinkerbell and I wanted to get a glimpse. 

I know that some parents pretend that the tooth fairy is real and make the tooth fairy exchange a lot of fun for the kids.  We’ve never gone down this road before so I am currently figuring out how I want to approach the tooth fairy mystery.  I’ve read that some parents forego giving money to their kids and instead give crayons, pencils, or some other treat.  

Possible Choices:

• Money
• Special Coins (Like a dollar coin, half-dollar, Sacagawea)
• Crayons
• Stickers
• Pencils
• Candy–sort of ironic since you really have to start paying attention to teeth cleaning!
• Dentil Floss–although I doubt that would be as appreciated as money

After doing some research, I found that there are several websites where you can buy a special tooth fairy boxes, banks, books, pillows, and baby tooth memory albums. (You have to check out that last link!!) I had no idea there were so many products that parents can purchase!  I even found a website that has sample letters you can leave your child from the tooth fairy that encourages him/her to keep doing such a great job brushing his/her teeth because she loves collecting nice shiny teeth.  

What fun memories do you have of the tooth fairy as you grew up? What traditions do you have with your children?  Are you going to pass on the tooth fairy tradition?  Tell me what you thought about that baby tooth memory album!

**photo courtesy of sappymoosetree