The Mom Crowd

Music is a big deal at our house. We enjoy dancing together as a family and just letting it loose. At times however, it has been a little tricky to find music that we can all agree on. When my second child, Isaac, was 15 months old, I discovered Johnny Cash and listened to him non-stop for months. It rubbed off on Isaac because by the time he was 17 months old he would ask for “Cash” every time we got in the car. Or “Bob”, for Veggie Tales music. And if you didn’t play either “Bob” or “Cash” he would throw a fit. We probably erred on giving in too many times to his fits–mainly because we thought it was cute that he was so particular about his musical choices. Eventually he opened up to John Mayer, “Jesus” music, and when he was 2 he got on an Elvis kick. He still requests Elvis frequently, but now that he is almost 4 he is much more willing to try new music. Thank goodness! We often joke that he will grow up and be a music critic.

Earlier this summer, I was preparing for some long car trips and since we have made it somewhat of a tradition to listen to some new fun music, we asked friends for some suggestions. We got lots of great ones. My sister-in-law sent us some Sandra Boynton books that have cds to play along with them. Isaac also loves books so getting music that has books to go along with it is right up his alley.

The Sandra Boynton books, Philadelphia Chickens and Dog Train, are a collection of several different genres of music–swing, rock, folk, lullaby, jazz, chorus, country etc. The songs are performed by a slew of celebrities and musicians–Spin Doctors, Kevin Bacon and his brother, Blues Traveler, Meryl Streep, Laura Linney, Kevin Kline, Kate Winslet and so on. Sandra Boynton somehow captures the heart of children as well as their behavior and puts it to music in such a way that kids and adults like it.

My favorite song from Dog Train is Tantrum by the Spin Doctors. The beginning of the song:

No No No, I don’t want to, I don’t want to

No No No I don’t want to, No No (repeat)

Leave me alone, leave me alone

LEAVE ME ALONE (long pause)

Don’t leave me alone, don’t leave me alone, DON’T leave me alone

Anyone who has kids knows this scenario all too well!

The great thing about these books/cds is that the music is good, quality music that is fun to sing along to AND the stories in the songs will make your heart smile. My kids love the song about a guy who has 15 animals all named Bob–except for his turtle named Simon James Alexander Ragsdale III. And they crack up when they listen to (Don’t Give Me That) Broccoli. They think it is funny that whole song is about a kid who doesn’t want to eat his broccoli and then actually tries it at the end of the song and likes it!

There are two other books (Blue Moo and Rhinoceros Tap) that come with cds we haven’t listened to yet, but I bet they are as good as Philadelphia Chickens and Dog Train. If your kids like books, music and funny stories I think they will get a kick out of these creative songs. And you will enjoy them too.

I am obsessed with the Olympics! I am having so much fun watching the best in the world compete against one another. I am also amazed at how many moms are competing in Beijing right now. I had the privilege to meet Olympian and Mom, Liza Hunter-Galvan from New Zealand last month. She is joined by many moms in Beijing right now. Jennie Finch, Melanie Roach, Lisa Leslie, Lindsay Davenport, Kate Markgraf, and Tina Thompson are some of the other moms competing in Beijing while their little ones cheer them on.My very favorite Olympic mom is Dara Torres. Not only do I love her name, she has overcome that battle all moms fight in “losing the baby weight!” I actually went for a swim at the gym this week and have decided to add swimming to my work-outs because I want a body like hers. With her two year old, Tessa Grace cheering her on, she has won three silver medals in Beijing, bringing her total Olympic medal count to 12! How many people can say they’ve competed in FIVE Olympics? She’s an amazing athlete!!

Here’s some sites I’ve found talking about the Olympian Moms:

Olympic Moms Head to Beijing Slideshow

NBC’s Olympic Mothers Slideshow

ESPN-Athletes Balancing Motherhood and Olympic Dreams

Plenty of Olympic Moms in Beijing

Who is your favorite Olympic Mom? What has been your favorite Olympic moment?

I like to watch a lot of t.v. (no shock there).  Some of my favorite television shows are about families, so I get to see a lot of unique mother-child relationships play out.   And though you may think of Donna Reed or Marion Cunningham when you think “t.v. mom”, I have no Nick-at-Nite classics on my list.  Go figure.

My favorite four t.v. moms, in no particular order:

• Elyse Keaton, Family Ties (played by Meredith Baxter-Birney).  I grew up with the Keatons, and I loved Michael J. Fox as much as the next girl.  Looking back at clips of it now, I am taken aback at how simple and low-key it was – yet it still makes me laugh.  The show was consistently funny and well-made.  You just don’t see them on t.v. like this anymore.  Anyway, Elyse Keaton is a normal working mom, with wit, a sense of responsibility, and an easy relatability with all of her kids.  I like Elyse because she’s just so normal, which is refreshing in an ironic sort of way.  Here’s the first bit of the show’s pilot episode, dating all the way back to 1982.  I was six! 

•  Norma Arnold, The Wonder Years (played by Alley Mills).  Another show that I grew up with, The Wonder Years is an all-time classic.  Norma was a great, compassionate mom.  Most of the time, we saw her making dinner for the family, trying to keep the peace between Kevin & Wayne (her two sons), or between Karen & Jack (her somewhat rebellious daughter and her hardworking husband).  Every now and then, an episode would focus on her, which gave us a new perspective of who she was.   I distantly recall that she enjoyed sneaking away every now and then just to do something for herself, like take a pottery class.  We often saw the family overlook her or take her for granted.  I like Norma because she is the classic American housewife who only occasionally reveals subtle layers of wistfulness and frustration. Here’s a clip from an episode when Norma took a job as a secretary at Kevin’s school.  Lots of great stuff in this, what the show did best, in fact: highlight Kevin’s selfish tendencies and teach him important lessons about the people in his life.

• Tami Taylor, Friday Night Lights (played by Connie Britton).  I wrote about this great mom character a couple of months ago, and my opinion of her has not changed; therefore, she gets a spot on the list.  Season two added another baby to Tami’s busy world; it was refreshing to see such a realistic portrayal of a stressed-out mom.  Summer is a great time to check this show out on nbc.com; it needs more viewers!

• Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls (played by Lauren Graham).  No modern t.v. mom list would be complete without Lorelai.  The greatest thing about her is not her excellent wardrobe, her quick-wittedness, or even the way she cares for her daughter Rory.  What Lorelai’s character does best is show us that she makes mistakes.  A lot of them.  There have been lots of times I wanted to shout at Lorelai through the t.v. screen, saying, “Be honest, you fool!”  or “Stop acting like such a baby!” It’s a good thing the writers made her as flawed as she was, or she’d be a completely unrealistic mom character, in my opinion.  No mom is that pretty and cool, no matter how hard they try, but it’s probably safe to say there are plenty of immature, self-centered moms gracing our fallen world.  Despite her frequent bouts of immaturity, though, wouldn’t we all want to get some coffee with her at Luke’s?  I’d love to see if I could keep up with her in one of those quick, back & forth conversations she seems to have with everyone.  I like watching Lorelai because she’s just plain entertaining.

Wanna dig deeper?

• Test your t.v. mom knowledge with Biography.com’s quiz!
• msnbc’s 5Top: The Best TV Moms
• A list of the 10 Worst TV Moms, just for good measure

What do you think?  Do you agree with the choices on any of these lists?  Who would you add as your favorite t.v. mom? 

I am a big fan of Friends. One of the things that the writers of this classic sitcom did so well, in my opinion, was make Monica’s relationship with her mother into a problem that a lot of us face: hopelessly trying to please a critical parent. Because it was tv, Friends was able to milk a lot of jokes from this relationship that at times appeared a little exaggerated (there were a couple of hilarious jokes over the years where Judy Geller seemed to even forget she had a daughter!) For some of us, sometimes those situations resonated all too easily.

I thought it’d be fun to learn from Monica and her mother’s experiences, so I present to you my

Five Easy Steps To Avoid Becoming Monica’s Mom

1. Compliment your child on their efforts, even if you’d rather nitpick. In “The One With the Sonogram at the End”, Jack and Judy come over for dinner with Monica & Ross, and Mom is quick to judge that the spaghetti Monica is serving is “easy“, making it clear that she’s disappointed while pointedly fluffing Monica’s couch pillows. We all know how it feels to be Monica here: frantic that guests are coming over (especially her hyper-critical mom) and working hard to make everything as nice as possible. Mrs. Geller should have said, “Thank you for having us. Spaghetti’s great. I’m just glad to spend time with you.” Children will never get tired of hearing how much they and their efforts are valued in their parents’ eyes.

2. Love each child in your family equally. It was a running gag in the world of Friends that Mr. & Mrs. Geller favored Ross over Monica. Some classic bits: “I just wish Nana was here to hear Ross’s toast” – right after Monica gave her horribly inappropriate one at the Gellers’ anniversary party, and “We turned Monica’s room into a gym.” Let’s not forget that all of Monica’s childhood mementos were ruined in the Gellers’ garage when they used her boxes to stop a flood. Of course, this is pure comedy, but when parents show favoritism, even in the subtlest of ways, children notice. It’s more than making sure each kid has an equal amount of ice cream; we need to invest equal amounts of energy in each of our children’s varying interests. (If you happen to have made this mistake already in the lives of your kids, just follow Jack’s lead and give the less-favored child your Porsche. It seemed to make all of Monica’s issues disappear!  )

3. Understand that these kinds of negative traits are passed on from generation to generation. In “The One Where Nana Dies Twice”, Judy confided to Monica that she was frustrated by her own mother’s critical nature. Of course, she remained oblivious to her constant harping on Monica. How many times have we heard her drop a comment that Monica’s hairstyle is unflattering, or that her singleness was a terrible thing? The good news is, the pattern of passing down these traits can be stopped! All it takes is some self-awareness and a desire to change, along with a lot of hard work.

I know this from personal experience. As a minor example, last fall, I realized that I was a little obsessive about my daughter Lucy’s hair when we went to public places. If I was unable to fix it in any cute way, I’d make some comment to other people like, “Look at her crazy hair.” As though her toddler hairstyle was a reflection on my parenting skills or something, and as though Lucy had any control over it. When I caught myself doing that, I realized I was emphasizing her appearance more than her value as a person, and I made a point to stop worrying about it. I mean, who cares? Now, her hair looks precious all the time and no one says anything about that either.

4. Don’t spend your daughter’s wedding fund on a beach house! Especially if she knows about it and she’s counting on it. ‘Nuff said.

5. Never, under any circumstances, bring up old embarrassing stories in front of your adult childrens’ friends. This one applies to Ross. In “The One With the Cake”, the Gellers bring to everyone’s attention something that Ross did as a toddler. It’s so completely mortifying that I am choosing not to repeat it here. Ross, however, handles it like a pro. After all, he’s the one who still refers to Judy as “Mommy” in public, so I don’t think he embarrasses all that easily.

To be fair, I love the character of Judy Geller. Here are a couple of things about her that I find endearing:

• She’s very affectionate, supportive, and frisky with her husband. Of course, this can sometimes seem kinda disgusting, since we see them from Ross & Monica’s point of view. But it’s sweet all the same. I mean, 35 years together! They’re adorable.
• She’s totally blunt and hilariously scathing when she speaks to people. One of my favorite episodes is “The One Where Ross Gets High” (aka “The Thanksgiving When Rachel Screwed Up the Trifle”). The Gellers are there to experience Rachel’s botched cooking experiment, as well as witness a fantastic blowout between Monica and Ross. Judy gets to deliver my favorite monologue from the show: “That’s a lot of information to get in 30 seconds… Joey, if you wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you weren’t supposed to put beef in the trifle. It. Did. Not. Taste. Good. Phoebe, I’m sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you’re in an important relationship is beyond me. Ross, drugs? Divorced, again? Chandler, you’ve been Ross’s best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems, and now you’ve taken on Monica as well. Well, I don’t know what to say. You’re a wonderful human being.” Her delivery is awesome.

What fun memories do you have from Friends? Did you ever find yourself relating to Monica’s relationship with her mother?  Have you heard the news that “our little Har-Monica” is going to be on three episodes of Scrubs in the fall?

Happy Independence Day!  I hope you’re all out enjoying yourselves at parks, barbeques, parties, ballgames, movie theaters, and the like.   For those of us who are more likely to spend the holiday at home, I thought it would be nice to piggyback off of Amanda’s super fun post from yesterday with some easy entertainment ideas for you and your family members!  I’m not reinventing the wheel here, just having a little fun.

Five summery or patriotic movies you can enjoy with the kids:

• The Sandlot – summer classic about friendships, baseball, and a big scary dog.  Includes a great 4th of July scene.

• Field of Dreams – quintessential baseball fantasy with great family relationships and sweet moments to treasure.

• My Girl – sweet, simple story about an important summer in young Vada Sultenfuss’ life (with a Home Alone-era Macaulay Culkin; remember how cute he was?)

• An American Tail – great family animated film about a little mouse who gets separated from his family en route to the States.  Lots of history, too!

• Mr. Smith Goes to Washington – “It demonstrates democracy in action,” the trailer declares.  Experience again this movie classic and tell your children all about the late, great James Stewart.  I first saw this in a high school government class.  Loved it.

Easy music idea: 

If you’re looking for some fun with background music for your holiday dinner, look no further!  Make a playlist or mix cd with “freedom”, “summer”, or “America” as your theme.  This is especially fun to do with tweens & teens; give them $10 and have them buy 10 songs from an online store to make a mix for the family.  Here’s a small sampling of what I found in my iPod with those words in the title:

SeeqPod – Playable Search

I played my list at dinner last night and it sparked lots of fun conversation with my dear hubby.  Crank it up and enjoy!

Any other film or music suggestions out there?  Are you inspired to decorate your house like the one in the picture above?  (Yes, that is an actual house in my neighborhood.)  Have a great holiday, and for grins, I’ll have Bill Pullman take us out: