The Mom Crowd

I loved my maternity leave – the discovery of a new way of life for myself and my family.  It was quite nice to know I didn’t have to be anywhere, and that I just had the gift of time with my darling daughter after she was born.   Of course, there was a lot of down time too, and I wanted to fill it with something easy.  My friends came through for me with dvds galore.  

Our first order of business was to watch “Sports Night”, the complete series.  This was a (too) short-lived dramedy on ABC written by Aaron Sorkin (he of ”The West Wing”) – and it is brilliant!  It came in wonderful little 22-minute episodes, enough for a feeding or two.  Those first nights when I was trying to figure out nursing were stressful, and having a good new show to consume was just what my stressed out body needed.  It took us about 2 weeks to watch ‘em all.  Then we watched them again.  If you haven’t seen this show, get it to the top of your Netflix queue, stat.

During the day, when hubby was at work, I needed some adult company, something to make me feel normal.  Occasionally a friend would come over and provide that for me, but there were many, many quiet afternoons.  My pal Betsy came to the rescue with her entire series collection of “Gilmore Girls” (up through season 5 at the time).  I had never seen a single episode (we were without cable then, so no incessant reruns for us on ABC Family!)  Let me tell you, does it get any better than “Gilmore Girls” for escapist t.v.?  I loved Stars Hollow and all the characters within it.  (I still think Max Medina the teacher was Lorelai’s best match; what a waste!)  By the time I had finished season 2, my husband was also pretty hooked.  Don’t tell him I told you.

Occasionally I’d rent entire seasons of shows through Netflix, too.  I have memories of getting “America’s Next Top Model” season one, as well as the first “Amazing Race”.  My word, what a t.v. junkie I was.  It was kinda nice, though.  The baby was too young to understand what was going on so I didn’t need to worry about setting a bad example.  I calculated how many hours I had at home with my child during maternity leave, and it was over 2,000! 

When my son was born, my comfort t.v. was “Friends”.  I owned all of the seasons by then, and I constantly had a dvd in our bedroom player ready to go for the middle-of-the-night feedings.  I was a little unnerved the first few weeks after coming home from the hospital (both times), because I was so accustomed to the nurses coming in and checking on me so regularly.  When I got home, I didn’t have that sense of security, so Ross & co. kept me feeling somewhat safe.  It’s silly, I know, but it really helped.  Hubby and I also watched all of “Alias” for the first few months after Eli was born.

What were your post-partum comfort t.v. shows?  Have you seen “Sports Night”?  Who did you root for: Luke, Max, or Christopher? Did your dvd player get a workout in those first few months home with baby?

Did any of y’all catch post-Superbowl episode of The Office?  Stanley had a heart attack, and after he returned to work, he carried around a bio-feedback machine, which “alerts me when my stress level goes up so I can try to calm down!”  (Every time boss Michael Scott came close to Stanley, the machine would beep frantically.)

I thought about that scene yesterday when I was trying to get the kids ready to go out for the evening.  I figured my bio-feedback machine, if I had one, would be in an agitated state.  It was about 3:45 p.m.  I had to get the kids up from their naps and ready to get out of the house by 4:20.  Granted, had I used naptime more wisely, most of the following would have been completed before the kids got up, but let’s not get off topic:

• Change Eli’s diaper
• Get Lucy into her underwear
• Get the kids a graham cracker & milk
• Pack dinners for all of us
• Get diaper bag packed
• Lock doors, close blinds, and set recorder to tape Lost (of course)
• Remember my camera
• Remind Lucy to use the potty
• Remind Lucy that she can’t go potty in the car, then
• Put on jackets & shoes
• Put on my jacket & shoes
• Shuffle the toddlers out into the garage
• Endure Lucy’s repeated phrase: “No, I do it!!!“
• Find Eli’s pacifier
• Put Eli in his carseat
• Put Lucy in her carseat
• Start car early to get the heater going
• Find Lucy’s favorite song on the cd
• Remind Lucy to practice asking nicely for her favorite song on the cd
• Call Dave to tell him we’re running late

And throughout all of this, both Lucy and Eli were working through their post-nap stress syndrome, involving a hefty amount of whining, crying, and throwing oneself onto the floor. And a steady stream of declarations from Lucy: “I want to take that book.  No, I want to take that book.  No, I want to zip it!  Eli, don’t!  I don’t want to go potty!!  I want the white blanket, not the purple one!  Watch out, doggie!  I want my milk!”

Yeah, my bio-feedback machine would be having a field day.  It’s going off just typing this.

What time of day would your machine beep excessively?

It seems that I’ve been catching a lot of flicks lately that involve mother-child relationships.  I guess it’s a common theme in storytelling: the power of a mother’s love, and the ties that bind a mother and her child together.   

If you like watching movies and spending time with your mom, here are some movies you might enjoy seeing together for a moms’ night in:

• Under the Same Moon.  Recently released on dvd, this is about a young boy separated from his mother.  He’s in Mexico with his ill grandmother, and she’s in California trying to make a new life for them.  Eventually, she was hoping she could have him join her in the States.  This story is centered around current immigration issues and the hardships of poor families trying to survive in an unfriendly culture.  The little boy is adorable, and I enjoyed watching him interact with everyone he came into contact with.  It’s An American Tail for grownups.  Here’s the trailer:

• Mamma Mia!  Also just released on dvd.  How many of you went and saw this in the theater?  Were there any men anywhere?    I saw this on a girls’ night out and couldn’t stop laughing.  It’s definitely fun and silly, perfect for a night with your musical-loving mom.  A friend of mine recently shared with me that she watched this two times in a row with her mom, using the dvd’s sing-along feature.  Mother-daughter bonding at its finest!    Here’s a brief bit from a touching scene with Meryl Streep (as mother Donna) and Amanda Seyfried (as daughter Sophie):

• The Visitor.  Another tale of immigration woes, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie starring Academy Award-nominee (for this role) Richard Jenkins.  He befriends a Syrian musician named Tarek, who is detained in New York City for his illegal status.  Halfway through the movie, Tarek’s mother appears, and her character is a gentle study in the measure of a mother’s love.  If you can’t see this with your mom, see it with anyone.  It’s very, very good.  See from the trailer, which makes me cry:

• The Mirror Has Two Faces.  Ever since I’ve started writing for The Mom Crowd, I’ve looked for a way to mention this oldie-but-goodie directed by and starring Barbra Streisand.  I watch it about once a year.  Barbra is Rose Morgan, a single and brilliant literature professor who falls for a geeky, handsome math professor on the same New York campus (I think it’s Columbia U.).  Lurking in the background of this experimental relationship is Rose’s mother, played by the legendary Lauren Bacall (Academy Award nominee for this role).  The mother-daughter relationship in this story is fascinating to me – Bacall is all high-fashion glamour, and Rose is the “ugly-duckling” daughter at odds with her.  Rose’s transformation from an insecure lonelyheart into a self-confident woman hinges on a single key scene with her mom.  Watch for it.  Here’s another favorite scene, both for the mother-daughter dynamic I’ve described and because Jeff Bridges is so sweet in it (first 3 minutes):

What are your favorite mother-child movies?  Any favorites you like to watch with Mom?  Are you now humming “Mamma Mia”?  Is it weird that Pierce Brosnan appears in two of the four movies I’ve listed?

Baby-naming is on our minds here at The Mom Crowd this week: it’s time for another round of celebrity baby names!  About a year ago, I posted on this topic, and now I can’t help but be curious any time a celebrity has a child.  What will their name be?  Will it be “normal” or totally wacky?  Here’s what I’ve found for 2008:

• Nouns are still a trend for first and middle names.  Jessica Alba named her little girl Honor.  Nicole Kidman’s new daughter is Sunday Rose.  Mary Lynn Rajskub (“24″) named her son Valentine.  Chris Noth’s son is Orion. 
• Naming the kids after places is becoming popular.  Gwen Stefani’s new son is named Zuma Nesta Rock – Zuma is the name of a favorite beach in California.  Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz went even nuttier with Bronx Mowgli.  I’m sure the more we hear about it, the more normal it will seem.  I just hope we don’t start seeing Manhattan Ariel or Long Island Simba on a list anytime soon.
• Confusion is the key!  Lots of celebribabies will have plenty of awkward introductions in their futures when they spout out their mouthful of monikers: Jerry O’Connell & Rebecca Romijn named their twin girls Charlie Tamara Tulip and Dolly Rebecca Rose.  (Not only do you have to keep those flowers straight, you have to remember that Charlie is a girl.)  Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck decided to name their second daughter Seraphina Rose Elizabeth.  And Lisa Bonet clearly wins this category with Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha, her son’s new name.
• As thrice displayed, Rose makes a lovely middle name.
• Pretty and classic are still around!  Yay for Max (Christina Aguilera and J. Lo), Levi (Matthew McConaughey), Thomas David (Jack Black), Luke (Natalie Morales), and Stella (Tori Spelling)!

My favorites from this year are Emme (J. Lo & Marc Anthony’s daughter) – though I can’t figure out how to say it still, is it “Emmmm” or “Emmy”? – and Vivienne Marcheline (Brangelina).  I love the way those beautiful long French names roll off the tongue.

What are your favorite celebrity baby names from this past year?  Biggest head-scratcher?  Are you now more or less likely to choose Rose as a middle name?

This is a quote from a video I saw on Yahoo! this week.  It featured a mom named Erica, who writes for The Boston Globe and a mom website, Bo-Moms.   She was talking about whether or not Facebook makes you a bad mom.  The interview highlighted the pros and cons of online interaction with friends throughout the day, namely through Facebook, and concluded that, like any other hobby that a mom has, it is healthy – in moderation.

I enjoyed the interview, basically because I felt like I could relate to Erica so well.  She shared a story about her 2-year old physically grabbing her hand off of her mouse in an attempt to get her attention.  Yeah, occasionally things like that happen around here.  

I am a huge fan of Facebook.  It is a great way for me to stay connected to all of my dear, distant friends – and like the moms mentioned in the video, it helps me feel connected to the world outside my own little house.  I occasionally have an intelligent thought rattling around my brain – one not related to grilled cheese sandwiches or potty-training – and I relish the opportunity to share those thoughts with someone older than the age of 3.  Facebook is fabulous for that.

I always hear people say, “It’s a time-waster!” Yes, it certainly can be!  The key is however much time we spend on Facebook or any other internet activity is really our choice.  The interview discusses this: making a plan that suits your family best, whether it’s to get online for 30 minutes a day or to wait till the kids are asleep (which is what I do), and to keep family time the first priority.  If it’s something that keeps your emotional well-being strong, it’s not a bad thing.  Erica also says that “you’ll just know” if it’s taking too much of your time, the same way we try to keep our other hobbies in check.  At that point, we should just turn off the computer and settle in doing something else (with the kids!).

Do you use Facebook?  Do you like it?  How do you keep a healthy balance of internet time (or “me” time) and family time?  All practical suggestions are welcome!