The Mom Crowd

Darah and I attended a Music Together class when she was 18 months old. It was one of the most enjoyable things I’ve done with Darah. In Music Together, we sang a lot of fun songs, did a lot of dancing and silly movements, played with cool instruments, and just had a really good time! The teacher encouraged the parents to get very involved during the classes, and we all just fed off the teacher’s high energy and zany personality. For the past six weeks, I have had the wonderful opportunity of attending a Kindermusik class with Darah (now 3 1/2) and Connor (17 months old). At first, I was going to attend with Darah only, but due to the difficulty in arranging sitting for him during our class, I decided to sign him up as well. Kindermusik is very similar to Music Together, however the Kindermusik class seemed to explore the body and movements while singing or listening to music, while Music Together seemed to explore the actual music more. I think you get just as much out of both of the programs, just a little different.

The first week of Kindermusik was difficult because Connor didn’t want to attend to anything we were doing and I was split between both children. If I think hard about it though, none of the children were perfectly attending to the class, so I think I probably was more stressed out about it than necessary. Since that first week, the kids have grown so much in their music exploration. Darah really never had much of a problem attending to the group songs and activities like Connor did, but she still has learned how to follow the direction of the teacher, move fast-and-slow, start-and-stop her instrument or movement, transition between songs and activities. Connor, though has grown up so much during our class. The first session, he threw major temper tantrums when it was time to transition. When we would put up the maracas, he would cry and run away with his maracas. When the teacher started singing her “drums away” song, he would grip his drum even harder while crying. I left thinking he just wasn’t mature enough for a group activity like Kindermusik. By week two, he got a little better about it, and even though I would have to pry each instrument away from him when it was time to transition, the crying didn’t turn into all out temper tantrums. By week three, though, he would start putting his instrument up when the teacher started singing the transition song. There were still tears, but he was following direction. Last week, he actually seemed to look forward to the transition to see what was coming next. He eyed the hoola hoops the whole time and every time the transition song would start, he’d clean up and run over to the hoola hoops, hoping this was the transition that was going to lead to them. There were still some tears, but he was in no way uncontrollable, and I loved that he was following direction so well.

The last six weeks has been a very enjoyable time for me and my children. I am so glad that I didn’t find a babysitter for him during the music class and went ahead and signed him up as well. I’m sad that this session is finishing, but you better believe we’ll be signing up for another one!

I strongly recommend you find a Kindermusik or Music Together or Gymboree music class in your area to try. Most locations will let you try out a class for FREE!!

Have you been to a Mommy and Me Music class? What did you think? What other fun activities have you done with your baby or toddler?

I used wonder why first birthday parties were such a big deal. The party is really for the parents, right? Now I understand that the first birthday party is a celebration of life bringing friends and family together. The party marks a milestone of surviving the difficult first year for both the little one and the parents.

Our celebration turned out wonderful. I love party planning and helping everyone have a great time. Here’s a few keys that I’ve found that will help make your first (or any) birthday party a success:

• 1. Consider your child’s nap times when scheduling the time of the party. Plan the party around your child’s nap times so they will be happy when it is time to start. We started our party at 4:00 p.m. This allowed Ace to get two naps in during the day and all the kids that attended could eat dinner at the party and be home by bedtime.

• 2. Every first birthday party must have cake! The theme of our party was flowers, so my husband made two cakes in the shape of a flower. We bought a cake flower pan at Hobby Lobby and used boxed cake mix. We didn’t have time to make a special small cake for Ace so I just cut off one of the petals for her to dig into. No one cared that she didn’t have a special cake to herself.

• 3. Play fun party music! The key is not to play what you like, but what will get the party going. Just because I like alternative-folk music doesn’t mean that everyone else likes it. Nor does it make for a fun party atmosphere. We hooked up my husband’s laptop to a receiver which connected to a pair of large speakers and played music from Internet radio through iTunes. We placed the speakers outside an open window in the backyard so it could be heard both inside and out.

• 4. Have activities for all ages. We set out toys inside the house for the little ones. In the backyard we had horseshoes and a game called Washers for older kids and adults. All these games were borrowed so we didn’t have to spend a dime!

• 5. If you are serving food have it ready near the beginning of the party. This is one of my personal pet peeves. If I know that a party is serving food I usually arrive hungry and ready to eat. I don’t want to wait an hour while you fire up the grill. Serving food at the beginning of the party usually makes everyone happy.

• 6. Have someone else take pictures for you. I am so thankful for my friend Kara who got some amazing shots. I was free to mingle and take care of Ace while she digitally recorded the special day for us.

• 7. Have plenty of seating. I didn’t want my guests trying to cut their brisket served on a paper plate in their laps. I borrowed a couple of extra tables and chairs for the back yard. I covered them with plastic table clothes bought at the dollar store for 99 cents each.

• 8. Clean your entire house the week prior. I know this may seem like a daunting task, but it is worth it. I am much more calm and clear-minded when my house is clean. I never stressed if a guest wandered into a room with a closed door. A few guests used the guest bedroom to change and I was thankful that I had picked up that room.

• 9. Cut the cake at least halfway or two-thirds into the party so people can feel free to leave. Everyone wants to see the little one take their first bite of pure sugar cake, so don’t make them wait too long!

• 10. Open presents at the end of the party. Opening presents can take a long time, so it is best to do it after the cake. The people who wanted to see the gifts stayed and had a great time.

• 11. Make a slideshow of photos to play on the T.V. I put a bunch of photos on my ipod and hooked my ipod to the T.V. You can also make a video of photos and burn it to a DVD. Or you could connect your computer to the television and play a slide show. Many people wandered into the living room and watched the entire show. The party guests enjoyed seeing themselves in the slideshow. It is a great way to celebrate your little one’s first year of life.

• 12. Enlist help to set up before the party. You cannot set up all by yourself. Have a friend or relative come early and help. I am seriously thankful for the folks that helped me.

• 13. Carefully plan the food set up and flow of traffic before the party. Spending a few minutes to think about where the plates, food, and drinks go will help keep people moving through the kitchen and clear any traffic jams.

• 14. Place cheerios and goldfish out for the little ones. They will appreciate the snack just for them. The cheerios were a big hit at our party.

• 15. Have the washtub and a back up outfit ready. Ace got a quick bath to rinse off the icing and she got to wear two super cute dresses to her party. It was handy knowing I had a back up in case the first got covered in cake.

• 16. Don’t make people feel obligated to stay more than two hours. I really like to respect people’s time and they appreciate it too. If people want to stay they will stay, but I think a party is much more fun if it doesn’t drag out the whole day.

• 17. If you have a party at lunchtime or dinner then you should serve food. If you are just going to serve cake and snacks have it mid-morning or mid-afternoon. I think guests will be hungry if you have the party around a usual meal time.

• 18. Save money and time by serving lemonade and tea made from instant powder. I spent about fifteen bucks for the drinks and cups for fifty people. It was a lot cheaper than serving sodas! Honestly, the instant tea wasn’t that bad.

• 19. Don’t stress if everything isn’t perfect or you forgot something. The party will go on and everything works out. The focus is on your family and the new little one, not that you ran out of cups.

• 20. Be in the moment. Once the party is going – enjoy it! Don’t forget to eat, mingle, and be proud of your accomplishment – your family has survived the first year!

Did you have a large first birthday celebration? How did it go? Do you have party pet peeves or any rules that you usually follow when you host? Do you have any money saving tips for parties?

Connor’s room has these huge sliding closet doors. They take up nearly a whole wall in his room. When I decided to paint his room, I didn’t know what to do about the doors. Did I paint them the same blue that the walls were painted? Did I paint them in a complimentary color to make them more fun? I just wasn’t happy with any of my ideas. I posted my dilemma on a forum and got the great idea of using chalkboard paint

I headed out to Lowe’s and bought a quart of chalkboard paint for $12.00 and went to work. The paint was very oily. I used a brush instead of a roller and painted three coats letting them dry in between. Erasing them requires a wet washcloth, which isn’t too big of a deal. Everyone loves Connor’s chalkboard closet doors. I do have parents ask if this has encouraged my kids to write on walls, and it hasn’t. Both of them know to only write on the closet doors. Writing on regular walls with chalk wouldn’t be as rewarding, anyway! Besides, I’d much rather clean chalk off of my walls than marker or crayon.

What fun decorating ideas do you have for kids rooms?

Sign language has been an amazing communication tool for our family. Upon discovery that my daughter has Down syndrome, we were fairly certain that verbal communication was going to be delayed. As a result, we started teaching her sign language at a very young age. Darah is able to tell us when she is hungry, thirsty, hurt, sleepy, and when she wants a bath. She can also participate in “small talk” as well, by naming things she sees or wants like dogs, rain, stars, shoes, airplanes, and yogurt. Darah (at 3 1/2 years old) has over 200 signs now that she uses! Sign language has been such a gift for her and I am so happy that we introduced it to her! When Connor was born, signing was already part of our lives. Connor (now 15 months) learned signs pretty much by osmosis. I am surprised at the number of signs he’s learned just by observing Darah. The other day, Darah was in time-out and he decided to sit in time-out with her. When I allowed Darah to come out of time-out, he stood up and surprised me by signing “sorry.” I then drilled him some of Darah’s signs, and he knew “please,” “thank-you,” “dog,” and several other signs that I never once showed him. He also consistently uses “more,” “all done,” “eat,” “milk,” “bath,” and several other signs.

Babies as young as 10 months old can communicate with sign language. An ideal time to start introducing signs is when your baby is six months old. However, if your baby is older, it’s never too late! Here are some things that you should know when starting to teach your baby sign language.

Sign language will not impede your child’s speech development!

So many people think, “if I teach my baby to communicate with sign language, he is going to take longer to speak.” Actually, teaching your baby to sign will more than likely speed up his verbal communication. Before any child is ready to say their first words, there are some foundational skills that must be learned and some oral motor development that must take place. By teaching your baby to sign, you are teaching him the foundational skills required to communicate. By the time your baby is cognitively and physically ready to start saying words, he will be well ahead of his peers because of the communication foundation he’s already learned. These foundational skills include, but are not limited to:

• learning the concept of cause and effect

• understanding the concept of turn taking

• understanding that two or more words can be linked together, thus creating sentences (as in signing “more milk,” “big ball,” etc…)

Here’s a great article about the benefits of signing with your baby.

Reinforce with your spoken words!

When you sign with your baby, make sure you are saying and signing the word very clearly. Your baby is fascinated by your face; make it interesting by exaggerating your mouth movements. Be sure to talk to your baby all day long about anything and everything. By telling your baby about the train that’s passing by and talking about the yogurt and milk in the dairy aisle of the grocery store, you are reinforcing their receptive language skills.

Start off slowly

Begin by teaching your child 1-3 signs. “Milk,” “more,” “eat,” and “all done” are great signs to begin with because they are things that surround your baby’s daily life. Teach your baby signs that you have ample opportunities to use throughout the day.

Use your signs in context

It’s so much fun to show off our baby’s newest tricks, and sign language is a great way to capture those “oohs” and “ahhs!” However, make sure that when you are modeling or asking for a sign, it is in context. Asking your baby to sign “apple,” when he is neither hungry nor are there any apples around can potentially confuse your baby. The goal of teaching your baby sign language is to teach them a way to communicate their wants and needs, so make sure you keep it in context!

Don’t give up!

It is going to take you modeling a sign many many times before you see your child imitate. Keep going. Help your baby by doing hand-over-hand signing. This is where you take your baby’s hands in yours and do the sign together. Your baby will catch on! Just remember to be patient. Once they learn a few signs, it’ll get easier and easier to teach new ones. The first few take the longest to learn. Just make sure you’re consistent, enthusiastic, and give your child lots of praise for any attempts made. Your baby will have their “ah-ha” moment and will become a signing junkie!

May I recommend?

Baby Signing Time Volumes One and Two

These are excellent dvd’s which incorporate wonderful beginning signs with fun, catchy music. Both of my children love the Signing Times series and the Baby series is top-notch! Their website also has a lot of great information for parents who want to teach their babies to sign.

What has your experience been with sign language and your children?

Last week, The Mom Crowd reader, Sharon M. commented on my article, “Making the Most Out of PlayTime with Your Baby.” Here’s what she wrote:

“What do you do when your toddler/ preschooler goes through the “obsession” phase? Like my son, for instance, has been on a musical instrument kick for the past several weeks and that’s ALL HE WANTS TO DO. The water bottle is his bassoon, the electric heaters are baritones and tubas, and one of our cords for our computer has become the french horn. Now I love music, and instruments, but all the time? No thank you! How do you divert him to play something else? How long will this last? I am tired of playing musical instruments!!!”

My first response is, “How wonderful!” You have a very imaginative child and I credit your parenting for helping to build that amazing creativity. You get a gold star in parenting from me! My second response is, “This too shall pass.” As a mother of a preschooler, you already know how children’s phases fly by way too fast, however when you’re in the middle of it, it can feel like an eternity! My third response is, “You are not alone!” I have watched countless toddlers preschoolers obsess on trains, G.I. Joe action figures, and ruby red slippers to name a few!

All of the research I have found suggests that toddler obsessions are very normal and very healthy. I found this mom of a child obsessed with trains who asks a very similar question to yours regarding her son’s obsession. The responses were overwhelmingly supportive to her son’s obsession with trains and emphasized how “normal” her son’s obsession is. I found this horse-maniac who needs a new word for OBSESSION! I also found this sticker-devotee, this box-fanatic, this button-pusher, and this bug-lover.

While it’s very normal for your child to become passionate over something, variety in your child’s play is also very important.

• You can work on teaching your son turn-taking to encourage more variety in his play. You can tell him, “Mommy really wants to play trains. Let’s play trains for 5 minutes and then you can choose what we play after we’re done.” Set a timer so he knows that once it beeps, he gets to choose the next activity.
• Encourage variety within his obsession. If all he wants to play is musical instruments, encourage him to play with musical instruments in different ways. He can color musical instruments (I found this handy site that has musical coloring pages for free), you can have him push his toy cars across the floor to the speed of the music playing, you can have him explore his dramatic play by using facial expressions and body movements that imitate the music playing, and you can get him new books that talk about new instruments he may not know. Even if he doesn’t want to leave the music world to play with other things, you can bring other things into his music world!
• Mix up his play by introducing new instruments to him. I couldn’t help but notice that he seems especially fond of brass instruments. If he is obsessing on brass instruments in particular, maybe working on expanding from brass to percussion or strings. While you’re not completely leaving the music world, you’re at least expanding from tubas and baritones!
• Arrange play dates for your son with children his age. Even if your son can get his friend as excited about music as he is, at least you will get a break from having to play it with him for a short time. Chances are the other child will have their own obsession, and it may rub off on your son, too!

I have said all that to say, encourage that passion and love for music as much as you can. Research is very clear on the power music has on children’s brain development, especially in the first six years of life. I come from a very musical family and play the piano, flute, and am learning the guitar. I hope my children have a passion for music and creative minds like your son.

Alright readers, the microphone is yours! What are your toddlers and preschoolers obsessed with? How long did the phases last? Any advise for dear Sharon who’s tired of playing musical instruments?