The Mom Crowd

Recently, my daughter had her very first teeth cleaning.  She has visited with the dentist a couple times, but they had not actually cleaned her teeth before this past week.  She did a-maz-ing!  She laid on the exam chair like such a big girl and laughed when the dentist counted all twenty of her teeth.  She also allowed the hygienist to scrape the plaque off her teeth, clean them, and apply varnish.  I was incredibly proud of her.  She excitedly picked out a slinky from the prize box at the end of our visit and we drove on home to tell Daddy what a big girl she was.  There are a few things that contributed to our very successful trip to the dentist.

Choose the right dentist and make practice visits

• Ask fellow moms for dentist recommendations.  Call and ask if you can visit the dentist office (without having an exam).  See what kind of feel you get when you visit their office and talk with their staff.  If you do not get the warm fuzzies, find another dentist.  There is absolutely no reason why you should not feel happy and comfortable when you walk into a pediatric dentist office.  It’s also a good idea to stop by the office to say “hi” a couple times before the actual exam so your child is familiar with the staff and knows where the cool toys are stored. Our dentist actually plays his guitar for kids before their exam! 

Lay down to brush teeth

• Our dentist taught us early on to brush our children’s teeth while they laid on the ground.  I thought he was nuts until I heard his rationale.  It’s actually quite brilliant.  One of the scariest parts of dental visits for small children is laying down while someone bends over you with a toothbrush.  You can take away this awkwardness by always laying them down to brush their teeth at home.  Also, you get a MUCH better look at their teeth and do a better job at brushing in this position. 

Find a sitter for siblings

• I have found a wonderful college age girl who babysits for me during the day so I can take my children to their many appointments and leave the others at home.  I think the one-on-one time I had with my daughter at her dentist appointment really helped to keep her calm and comfortable.  I was not distracted by her brother pulling down the dental tray or pushing the buttons on the dental chair.  I was calmer, so she was calmer. 

Bring Lovey

• Need I say more?  Lovey does not leave my daughter’s bedroom because I am terrified of losing her.  However, Lovey made an extra special trip to have her teeth cleaned with my daughter. 

Talk positively about the dentist trip

• Before our appointment, I told my daughter that she was a big girl, so she was going to meet a very special person who was going to brush her teeth.  I told her that the dental hygienist was going to tickle her teeth with a special toothbrush and make sure they were extra white and extra clean.  I told her that it was going to be a special time with just Mommy and her and she would receive a special treat and a new toothbrush.  I reminded her of her Barney episode about visiting the dentist and we sang some of those songs.  I called a girlfriend and told her that my big girl was going to have a fun trip to the dentist that day and built up the appointment to my friend while my daughter was in earshot.  By the time we arrived to our appointment, she was excited!

Have you taken your child for his or her first dental visit?  How did they do?  What helped make your trip successful?  What contributed to a not-so-great dental visit?

Last week, I wrote a post in response to a reader’s concern about her shy daughter’s difficulty in making friends.  In my preparation, I was amazed by how much I still have to learn about various personality types and how we can almost “typecast” our kids with certain traits.  I think there is a danger in putting our children in some kind of personality box and expecting them to remain that way for most of their lives.  I doubt we want to label our kids.  But I can see myself veering into that territory already.  “Lucy is such a smart, stubborn little girl.”  “Eli likes to be by himself in larger groups.”  If I’m not careful, I will start believing my kids will always be this way, and then I might react unpleasantly if they don’t.  And this would make them feel badly about themselves.

Has anyone ever labeled you?  Are you considered melodramatic, intellectual, athletic, artistic, left-brained, right-brained, nosy, outspoken, introverted, a people-person, etc?  How do those labels make you feel?  Have you ever tried to make changes in yourself only to find that people can’t handle a different behavior coming from you?  (Side note: Do you like those personality quizzes – like Myers-Briggs - that explain all of your behaviors away in a startlingly accurate paragraph?  My husband hates them.  He chafes at being put in a box.  I’ve always said he has a personality that defies most standard definitions.  )   But I digress.

I came across several helpful websites when researching last week about shyness.  I will list those at the end of the post if you are interested in learning more.  But the thing that stood out to me the most in my reading was from Dr. Renee Gilbert’s site, Shake Your Shyness.  In it, she categorized shyness not as a personality trait but a feeling that can come and go, depending on the circumstances.  Dr. Gilbert states:

“You see, shyness viewed as a “feeling” is difficult, but manageable, whereas shyness viewed as an “enduring personality trait” can be overwhelming.  Had I, as a shy child, believed that I had a shy “personality,” I might easily have gotten discouraged and given up.  But because I viewed my shyness as a feeling, as something I could do something about, I always felt there was hope.  I knew that if I could just figure out what to do to fit in and muster the courage to do it, everything would be OK–and it was.”

This spoke to me on many levels.  I was struck by the freedom that comes from thinking a child’s personality characteristics might actually be circumstantial, not permanent.  How many times have you been in situations where you felt shy, even though you can be equally talkative and confident in others?  It depends on the situation – who we’re with, what’s expected of us, and how the environment makes us feel.  The same can be true of our children.

It struck me that it is not good to label our children with an “enduring personality trait” – instead, we must celebrate their strengths on a routine basis and help build their confidence in as many things as we possibly can.

Here are some interesting sites I discovered regarding shyness:

• Shake Your Shyness (my favorite)
• Helping Young Children Overcome Shyness from the University of New England
• Center for Effective Parenting’s page on shyness
• The Shy Child by Hyson & Trieste

What do you think, moms?  Is it easy to put our kids’ personalities in a box?  Do you have any strategies for raising well-rounded children, capable of many different skills and exhibiting many unique moods?

photo courtesy of allspice1

My family  just moved from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to Dallas, Tx (for the summer) in a car and moving truck. That’s right,  21 hours of actual driving time.  In two days.  That made for long days  with pit stops.

To be fair, I have to admit that I did not make this trip with them.  I flew to Dallas with the 21 month old the same morning everyone else left Pittsburgh.  We thought that maybe it would be better for the toddler to not have to endure such a greuling road trip in a short amount of time.  My in-laws came up to help a few days before the big move day.  My husband planned on driving the moving truck while  my in-laws planned on driving the car with the kids in it.

My mother-in-law came up with a FABULOUS idea that I wanted to pass onto everyone.  She showed up with some plans in her road trip arsenol.  She bought some plastic gold coins and told the boys that they could earn the coins by doing special jobs around the house.  They each had a bag to put their collected coins in.  She told them that when they were on their big road trip they could spend their “money” at “Mimi’s store”.  Since we were still packing up for the move there were plenty of jobs to do around the house–especially since I’d been having some complications from the miscarriage and hadn’t been able to get as much done as I needed to.  The boys were excited to earn gold coins and were even more excited about being able to buy special treats from her store.

She also came with a DVD player, a borrowed Leapster, and Nintendo DS.  We let the boys pack their backpacks with toys and brought a basket of books to help with entertainment.

We were worried that the boys woulde be upset because they weren’t going to be riding in the moving truck with daddy.  Thankfully, Mimi’s Store was a HUGE hit.  What did Mimi have at her “store”?  She had some inexpensive toys like slinkys, stickers, and spray foam.  She had lots of food items like goldfish, cheese crackers, and cookies.  She also had pixie sticks, fruit rolls, and fruit chews.  It was an indulgence for sure–they don’t normally get a lot of those kind of snacks at home but we figured that being stuck in a car for 12+ hours a day for two days was a good reason to let them have some extra fun.

Her idea was genius because it helped on the front end with all the jobs and packing that needed to be done AND it helped to pass some of the long hours in the car.  Doing the extra jobs around the house also kept them occupied as more and more of their toys were packed on the truck and the house was being cleaned.

If you are planning a road trip (or even a plane trip) I think this is a great strategy to help pass the time.  So I pass it on to all you moms who are planning summer travels in hopes that you can use this to make your road trips more enjoyable!

Happy Travels!

*photo courtesy of spader

I happen to be one of those people who spend hours comparing prices in grocery circulars and clipping coupons twice a month. (Ok, so truth be told, I do coupons weekly!) I make an extensive list of meals that I can make for the following two weeks and shop only to that list and of course to the other little necessities that we use daily. I go to at least 4 different stores on my twice monthly grocery run and do my best to do it all very early on a Saturday morning when my husband is home to watch the kids. But there are just sometimes that early Saturday shopping trips just aren’t workable and I have to venture out during the week with my kids to do major shopping.

I’ve found that for short trips to places like Target or Wal-Mart, the kids do fairly well and are entertained as long as we stop by the dollar section or toy section first, even if just to browse, or if I promise that we will visit it within a few minutes of arrival. But on those occasions when I need to focus on my list and purchase more than just a handful of items, the following “survival tools” are essential! 

1. GET ORGANIZED BEFORE YOU GO! – If you are familiar with the store you are going to visit, write your list out in order of how you normally go up and down the aisles. Even if you aren’t 100% familiar with the store layout, you can organize your list by produce, meats, dairy, baby items, household goods and processed foods. The less time you take looking up and down the aisles for exactly what you need, the less time you have for your kids to act up.

2. GO EARLY! – don’t wait until naptime or right before to do your shopping with your kids if you can avoid it. Meltdowns are inevitable if you are pushing that threshold. All it takes is one “no” and you’ll have a screaming child for your entire trip!

3. TAKE A SNACK! – Who can be cranky when they have something to stuff in their mouths?! Bring along some Cheerios or fish crackers in a snack cup or give them a special treat and pick up a fun-sized box of their favorite snack food at the store. As long as you aren’t going through the do-it-yourself checkout lane, it won’t matter if they’ve eaten some or all their snack!

4. GET YOUR CHILD INVOLVED! – Go down each isle and have your child pick out 5 things with blue packaging, get them to help you find exactly what you are looking for (even if you know where it is), or have them count the items in your basket. If your kids are older, use the grocery store to teach them about nutrition facts by having them read and compare labels of their favorite foods. Another fun trick is to have them keep a tally of how much you have spent with a small calculator. It will help keep you in budget and will teach them basic math skills.

How do you manage shopping trips with your children? What tricks or tips do you have that help keep the peace?

Photo Courtesy of Joe Thorn

Now that I have 2 children 22 months apart I have been pining for a double stroller. I have tried to get by without one for as long as I can with various strategies. One way is putting my 3-month-old son in a Baby Bjorn while pushing my 2-year-old girl in our huge Graco stroller or in an umbrella stroller. Another way is pushing my baby in his car seat on a travel frame stroller and chasing my daughter. Going out has been difficult! We had 3 different strollers in my car: 1 small umbrella stroller, the huge Graco travel system stroller, and the travel frame. I wanted to only have 1 stroller to fit my needs. I decided that it was time to put some cash down on a double stroller.

There are so many factors to consider before buying a double stroller. No double stroller is perfect. You just have to pick one that is closest to your needs.

New or Used?

Buying a used double stroller can be a great deal if you can find one that is in pristine condition. I had three friends tell me that they had bought used double strollers and found that the wheels stuck and didn’t ride smooth. I also searched Craigslist every day and even placed a “Want to Buy” ad, but never found what I was looking for. I could have bought a nice used one from Ebay, but we are going on a trip and I didn’t want to wait for it to be shipped.

A new double stroller is clean and has new wheels. I plan to use my stroller for a very long time, so I felt like I would get my money’s worth with a new one.

Side-by-side or Tandem?

My friend, McKenna, has used both a tandem and a side-by-side. She said that the child in back of the tandem couldn’t see and didn’t like sitting back there. Although, it was nice and compact. A side-by-side allows both children to see and be next to each other. I know that my daughter loves being next to her brother, so I felt like she would love it more than a tandem.

Jogging Style or Umbrella Style?

This is just a matter of preference. Where are you going to use it more? A jogging stroller is great for running, parks, the zoo, and amusement parks. Jogging strollers can also take up a lot of room in the truck and be heavy. An umbrella style is great for shopping and doctor office visits, but can also be used at parks and amusement parks. I didn’t want a huge jogging stroller and felt like I would get more use out of the umbrella style. I like the lightweight compactness of the umbrella style.

A Checklist to Consider When Shopping for Double Strollers

• How easy it can break down and set up
• The weight of the entire unit
• The room it will take up in your trunk
• The maximum weight the stroller can carry
• Storage pockets
• The number of sitting positions
• Durability. Does it have a good reputation for lasting a long time?
• Price

3 Strollers That I Considered Purchasing

Peg Perego Aria Twin Stroller – $339

A mom of two sets of twins in the store told me that she had used this stroller. The wheels got stuck often. Also the plastic piece that opens the stroller had broken off on a tarmac and airport staff had to find it. The sales guy at Babies R Us also immediately said that this was a horrible stroller, because it is made of cheap plastic and was not worth its expensive price tag.

Maclaren Twin Triumph Stroller – $265

The Mac Daddy of aluminum double strollers, this pricey double stroller is incredibly durable. It also has the smoothest ride of all umbrella double strollers. The 5-point harness is easy to snap together. Also the straps are made of a soft material  which is nice when rubbing against skin. The bottom strap is thin and while it held my 3 month old fine, it didn’t look very secure. The maximum weight is 110 lbs which means it could last a very long time as your children grow. The pockets in back are also nice, because they have a velcro lid to secure the contents in the pockets. One friend complained that it isn’t easy to set up, but you can get used to it. Also, I think you have to use your foot to pull up on a pedal to break it down, which may hurt your feet if you wear flip flops often. The sleek, simple design is nice.

Chicco Trevi Twin – $229

This stroller weighs 24 pounds (the weight of my toddler) and is easy to set up and break down. To break down you have to step down on a pedal and pull up two handles. The downside is that it only clicks together on one side when folded, so the other side hangs open a bit. This isn’t really a big deal, because the handle to carry it is on the side that clicks together. This stroller also has 4 adjustable positions. I liked that the bottom strap of the 5-point harness is very wide securing in a little baby. It also comes with a boot that folds out to give further security to holding a newborn. The shade doesn’t cover much. The pockets underneath and in the back are adequate. Also, the ride is smooth enough. It is quite comparable to the MacLaren Twin Triumph.

We ended up getting the Chicco Trevi Twin, because it was marked down to $169 from $229. We couldn’t justify spending almost $100 more on the MacLaren. We immediately used this stroller after purchasing it this weekend at an outdoor mall and got many looks and a compliment. It is so convenient to have them in one stroller! A bonus is that my husband likes to push it, because the handles are wide apart and they are comfortable for his broad shoulders and his height.  I am in love with my new double stroller.

Do you have a double stroller? Which one? Do you like it? What did you consider when purchasing a double stroller?