The Mom Crowd

One of every mother’s worst fears is watching their child choke or stop breathing.  That is definitely on my top three list of worries.  This evening, as I was cutting up grapes for my son, I was thinking about the choking threat grapes pose and how unprepared for a choking situation I feel.  I’ve been CPR and First Aid certified a few times in my life, but the most recent class I’ve attended was four and a half years and three children ago.  I certainly could use a refresher course on what to do in a choking situation and am probably not the only mom out there who is not CPR confident.  One thing I do feel confident about is that the best way to stop a child from choking is to prevent it from ever happening.  The American Pediatrics Association has a whole list of the top food and nonfood choking hazards and ways to prevent your child from choking that I think every parent needs to read.

That being said, not all emergencies are preventable. However simple training in CPR and First Aid can be the difference between a scary event and a tragedy and the training is not difficult to obtain.  Most cities or hospitals offer free classes parents and babysitters can take. I found some online instructional videos on what to do if your infant or toddler is choking.  Hopefully, these videos will inspire you to seek out a children’s CPR and First Aid class near you so that you can be prepared in case of an emergency.

Infant Choking Part One (click on the links to parts 2 and 3 below)

• Infant Choking Part Two
• Infant Choking Part Three

Toddler Choking Part One (click on the link to part 2 below)

• Toddler Choking Part Two

Have you gone through children’s CPR/First Aid training as a mother or mother-to-be?  Do you feel confident that you could perform CPR on your child or handle a choking situation with your child if necessary?

Kristi is the mom of three wonderful children and a personal trainer to strong, beautiful women and one reluctant husband.   

The preschool age is one of my favorite stages.  Children 3 ½   – 5 ½  are eager to learn, have a blast while learning, don’t think they know more than you (unlike my 7 year old), and say some of the funniest things while learning and playing.  Children this age love to be entertained and kept busy.  I searched for some simple ways to keep my 4 ½  year old entertained after my son was born.  I also used these ideas during my pregnancy when I was feeling like a beached whale and not like a mom with enough energy to chase my 4 year old around the park.

Water Fun 

Rain boots proved to be one of the best gifts my daughter received for her 5th birthday.  It wasn’t my idea - she actually requested them herself.  When we get rain, she can’t wait to put on her pink cat rain boots and go splash in the puddles.  If it doesn’t rain often in your area, another idea would be to make your own rain with a hose.

One of my daughter’s favorite activities is playing with toys in the bathroom sink.  This requires more supervision than I previously expected – I found that out the hard way after daddy had been watching the kids.  I came home to find Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, and the rest of the DP Barbie gang with Windex (“hairspray”) in their hair.

Art

I have never met a child who didn’t enjoy art projects.  The main issue I have is my daughter raiding the arts and crafts cabinet and leaving everything in a complete disaster. She comes up with some interesting creations, like pom-poms glued to craft foam with red glitter glue.  If the mess doesn’t irritate you, allowing your child to do their crafts from their own craft box can be a fun idea.

A great craft to do together is finger painting. It’s super messy, but if the weather is nice you can always take the paint outdoors.

If your child is old enough, buy a white board and dry erase markers.  My kids love to sit and doodle on their white board.  It can also be a helpful tool in teaching them numbers, letters, writing, and reading.

Technology

Computer games, music on an iPod or CD, TV shows and DVDs designed for pre-k ages are all fun in moderation.  I find that these are the most addicting forms of entertainment.  When my kids are grounded from their favorite TV shows or games, they get really cranky.  Growing up, all we had was “Sesame Street”.  Our kids are fortunate to have a wide variety of technology to help them learn.

Imagination

Has your child ever told you, “Not right now, Mom, I’m using my imagination”?  I thought it was hilarious the first time my son told me that.  Encourage your little one to use their imagination often.  Providing an array of dress up clothes is one of the easiest ways to spark their imagination and keep them busy.  You will both have a good laugh in the process!

Playing outside is a great outlet for children.  Sidewalk chalk, kid-sized garden tools, sandboxes, ride-on toys and balls comprise our outdoor collection.  I often hear jaguars, monkeys, and aliens playing in our back yard.
  
What are some of the things you do to keep your preschooler entertained?  What captivates their attention?

Ewan (the oldest) got his first ice cream when he was 2.  2!  Can you believe that? I thought for sure that if a morsel of sugar passed his lips any earlier he’d turn into a sugar loving crazed kid. I know now that all kids will be lovers of sugar. Doesn’t matter what age you introduce it to them. I don’t remember how old Isaac (middle child) was when he got his first cookie or ice cream but he was a lot younger. When we thought Ewan was old enough to start chewing gum then it was hard to keep it from Isaac too. I try to tell myself that their 14 month age difference has a lot to do with it but I think I like to rationalize.

Well, apparently the age for gum chewing with the third child is 18 months.  Okay, well maybe our third child found some gum in my purse, knew what it was, unpeeled it, knew to put it in his mouth and chew.  I didn’t give it to him.  But I didn’t freak out after he put it in his mouth either (which I would have after child #1 or 2).  I waited to see what would happen.  I figured he would swallow it.  Or spit it out somewhere. Speaking of which, I should probably go see if I can find that chewed treasure somewhere.  But he figured out how to chew it and swallow the juices that come from a yummy piece of gum.  He chewed it longer than Ewan or Isaac did when they were first getting the hang of gum.

In truth, since I am a slightly seasoned parent, some of my parenting views and philosophies have changed too so that makes a difference in some of my decision making. I know someday I’ll hear the words from Ewan, “But MOM, you NEVER used to let me do _______!” And I’ll respond, “Wait till you have kids…”

I couldn’t resist showing you the utter joy that Graham (the 18 month old) had with his first gum chewing escapade.
So, what have you gotten “slack” on since becoming a parent of 2 or more? What kinds of things seem less important to you than before when it comes to parenting?

Jennifer is a stay-at-home mom to two great boys: Bailey (age 6) and Riley (age 5), and wife to her wonderful husband of 10 years.  She enjoys scrapbooking, reading, going to her discipleship group, and endlessly discussing Star Wars with her children.

When my family moved to a new city 3 years ago, we lived in a 2-bedroom apartment for six months.  We had no choice but to have our 3 1/2 year old and 20-month old sons share a room.  It worked out fine at first, but after a few weeks, they realized, “Hey, we are in a room together with our bed and crib very close to each other.  Let’s party all night!”  This culminated with our son climbing out of his crib for the first time at 23 months and making a regular habit out of it.  My husband and I ended up taking turns sitting in their room at night, trying to make sure they did not interact with one another.  This often took awhile and cut into our own time together at night.  We were very excited to finally move into our house and give each boy his own room.

After we had been in the house for about 18 months, my oldest son was sick with strep throat one night.  My youngest son, then 3, wanted to sleep in the room with my sick, older child.  We pulled out the trundle under my 5-year old’s bed.  They ended up sleeping that way for a week before we finally asked the two of them if they wanted to share a room.  We got an enthusiastic “yes!” from both of them.  It has been 16 months now, and our arrangement is still working great. 

Some of the things we love about our children sharing a room are:

• They are so darn cute together!  We have caught them many mornings scrunched together in one bed playing their hand-held games or reading books.  Often times at night, we hear them talking softly to each other before they fall asleep.  My hope is that this will start them on the road to a lasting friendship and brotherhood.  I know many grown-up people who have a hostile relationship or no relationship at all with their siblings.  It saddens me to think of my children’s relationship turning out this way.
• It has helped them be more considerate to each other.  They are also more willing to compromise.  If one of them gets hurt, is crying, or needs something after we have put them to bed, the other one will come get us and make sure we attend to the distraught.  Most nights, they will fight over who gets to sit by the spout in the tub if we are bathing them together.  I was shocked the other night to see my youngest sit against the back of the tub and say, “You can sit by the water tonight and I can sit there tomorrow,” to which my older son nodded his head and hugged his brother.  And one day last week, my youngest was playing with a toy that his older brother got for Christmas.  My older son saw this, and instead of snatching it away with a subsequent physical fight, said, “That’s okay, Riley.  You can have it.”  He actually gave it to him to keep!
• We now have an extra bedroom to use as a playroom.  Their toys are in the back of the house and the clutter is contained for the most part.  They like having a space where they can set up their superheroes on the ground and they can leave them up to play with the next day.  We just shut the door and they come back to it in the morning.

My boys have definitely gotten along better in the past 16 months.  I don’t know if this is from sharing a room or the fact that they are just getting older, or both.  Someday they may decide that they need or want their own space again, and that will be fine.  But for now, I see bunk beds in our future – and the argument over who will get to sleep on the top bunk!

Do your children share a room?  Does this improve their relationship or make it more challenging? 

I was sent a copy of Jean Blackmer’s book, BOY-STEROUS LIVING, to read and write a review.  I have to tell you that I really enjoyed reading this book.  I read it in one evening cover to cover.  Jean Blackmer is a mother of 3 sons, just like me.  She is a writer and publishing manager for MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International.

 I don’t assume that everyone who reads The Mom Crowd is a Christian, but I do need to tell you that this book is written from a Christian perspective. Each chapter begins with an anecdote and usually points to a passage of the Bible for a small bit of teaching. All the chapters end with a “deeper note” which suggests some fun things you can do to connect with your boys or has some questions to get you thinking about your relationship with them. The chapters are short and easy to read. It is one of those books that you can flip through and read whatever chapter title jumps out at you. One thing I appreciated about this book was that it wasn’t all about how you need to make yourself a better Christian or mother–it wasn’t about meeting standards that are impossible to achieve. It is simply a practical, funny look about what life is like when you have a house full of boys.

I found many of the topics she writes about to be true, for example, in Chapter 2 she talks about how boys and risk taking go hand in hand. And how us mothers worry. A lot. She points out that risk taking or fearlessness isn’t bad–but foolish risk taking is. We can teach our boys the difference between being fearless and foolish. Another thing she talks about in Chapter 7 is how important it is for us mommies to spend time with other women. That is so true in my life, and I predict that it will become even more true as my boys grow up to be teenagers. So far my 4 and 5 year old like to sit around and talk about the things that interest them. If I am lucky they will still enjoy sitting around with their mom and talking about fun stuff–but from what I understand (and she mentions this in the book) boys may hit an age where they run out of words and don’t want to answer a bunch of my questions about their friends, what they learned at school, who they talked to, or didn’t talk to–you get the point. I’ll have to give them more space to be themselves and not expect them to relate to me in the same way my girlfriends do.

As I was reading the book, I was inspired to spend more time DOING things with my boys like playing legos, looking for bugs, pretending to talk with a certain action figure, riding bikes, playing soccer, hockey, and being with them while they play on the computer. My boys (husband included) love adventure and even though I’d sometimes rather hang out inside and read, I know that DOING things with them will help us to bond together and create memories. I get tired (okay, and sometimes bored) when I am pretending to be Yoda or Bumblebee (shout out to Star Wars and Transformers!) but for now it is a way to connect with them. 

 In Chapter 15 Blackmer talks about the importance of letting Dads be Dads without interfering. If you are the primary caretaker of your children then you know the ins and outs of all the daily things in life (he likes mustard, NOT mayonaise…she takes a nap with the puppy but sleeps with the bear at bedtime…he’s been scared of Barney for weeks, why did you let him watch THAT?!…she naps at 12:30 not 1…) and when we leave our children with their daddies sometimes we have a tendency to communicate that they don’t know how to take care of their own children. It is true, sometimes they don’t but when we criticize and don’t let them doing things differently without freaking out can you blame them when they give up trying? Or get upset with us for telling them they are doing it wrong and then don’t give them a chance to figure it out themselves? This is not as hard for me as it used to be but I still struggle with it somtimes. She points out that every father and son need a chance to develop their own relationship (I know it is true for girls too but this post is about boys) and sometimes, as hard as it can be, we need to step aside and let them figure it out.

As I read the book I laughed and cried. My husband was sitting next to me on the couch and enjoyed the excerpts I read to him. Having boys is a blast and I appreciated a reminder of all the reasons why as I read this book. It could make a great gift to a mom that has boys!

 Do you have any “boy” stories? How do you manage to be surrounded by boys in your house? What about you moms that have teenage boys?  How do you relate to them?  What about you that have both boys and girls–what differences do you notice?