The Mom Crowd

Tara Parker-Pope reports today in the The New York Times about a study from Oxford and the University of Exeter in England that claims that a baby’s gender may be determined by the mother’s diet. According to the study those mothers who have a higher glucose level have a better chance of having a son. Generally, women who eat breakfast maintain a higher glucose level.

The data is based on a study of 740 first-time pregnant mothers in Britain who didn’t know the sex of their fetus. They provided records of their eating habits before and during the early stages of pregnancy, and researchers analyzed the data based on estimated calorie intake at the time of conception. Among women who ate the most, 56 percent had sons, compared with 45 percent among women who ate the least. As well as consuming more calories, women who had sons were more likely to have eaten a higher quantity and wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12. There was also a strong correlation between women eating breakfast cereals and producing sons.

The study does acknowledge that a baby’s gender is determined by the male sperm with an X or Y chromosome, but the condition of the mom may have an influence.

Frankly, I find this as silly as people telling me that I was having a boy, because I was carrying high. (I actually had a girl.) Although, maybe next time I am trying to conceive I won’t feel as guilty eating all my breakfast cheerios.

Do you believe that the report could be true? What other things have you heard to try when trying to conceive for a particular gender?

My goal is to breastfeed my daughter until she is one year old. Once she turns one she can switch to cow’s milk. Ace turns 1 in less than three weeks. Lately I have been thinking about my goal to nurse for a year and the decision to wean. I have already begun the weaning process. She only nurses about twice a day and can use a sippy cup if she needs to. I have never really pumped. I never expected the decision to wean to be so emotional.

All my personal reasons to stop nursing aren’t a factor anymore. I wear underwire bras again. I occasionally drink a glass of wine after Ace is down for the night. It doesn’t take Ace long to nurse. It only happens two or three times a day. I am not nervous about nursing in public anymore. The only personal reason that I have left is so I can take antihistamines and certain antibiotics if I get sick.

The convenience of nursing is awesome. I hate doing dishes. I don’t have to go downstairs first thing in the morning to make a cup of milk. My husband usually gets up with me, changes Ace’s diaper and then brings her to me in bed. Right now the convenience outweighs the alternative for me.

My daughter is small for her age as she is normally in the 20th percentile for height and weight. I like that she is still small, so it doesn’t seem weird to me to nurse her. Although when she sits up and nurses it’s a little bit weird. Sometimes I feel like a soda fountain at a buffet.

Nursing has definitely given me a bond with my daughter that I didn’t expect. I had heard about nursing creating a bond between you and your baby, but I didn’t understand what my friends meant. Now I feel like I know. When she nurses we have a connection that I don’t think I would have if I hadn’t nursed.

Ace is increasingly getting more adventurous and doesn’t want to be held as much. My little baby is turning into a toddler. I am not ready to fully wean her, because I am not ready for her to grow up. I didn’t think the first year would go by so quickly. Especially not in her second month when I wasn’t getting any sleep and nursing around the clock. But now she is almost one year old and I need to make a decision.

I know Ace may wean herself any day. My friend Kristin’s son just stopped nursing two weeks before his one-year birthday. There have been two nights where Ace didn’t want to nurse, because she was too full from dinner. It actually made me a little sad.

Right now I am going to continue to nurse past the first year until I have a peace about stopping or Ace isn’t interested anymore. I am happy with this unexpected decision.

I would love to hear your stories! When did you stop nursing? Did your baby wean themselves or did you wean them? How did you make your decision?

This is a guest post from my friend Myra at Moon and Back Studios. Myra is a talented designer and the mom of a very picky eater (see photo).

I’ve been cursed. Not in the pin in the voodoo doll sort of way. I’m talking about the kinds of curses parents put on their kids. You see, I was once a picky eater. I remember pushing my mom to the limits at meal time. And I vividly recall worrying about going to a friend’s house for dinner for fear they would serve something with fresh tomatoes (yuck), avocadoes (double yuck) or liver (the very worst yuck of all). Of course, there were many other foods that made The List, but even I couldn’t hold a candle to the Little Man (LM). And I had no idea what was in store for me.

But first my disclaimer: I write this in the spirit of McKenna’s recent article. I truly am not competitive about LM’s picky eating. I’m not proud of it. In fact, it might be one of the most frustrating experiences of my life, and certainly one of the hardest parts of parenting.

Now here’s the part that might sound unbelievable but I promise it’s true. I am convinced that the picky problem started with LM at birth. It seemed as though I had the only child in the world who wouldn’t latch on. I went to the breastfeeding classes (alone) and knew all about its merits. So naturally, when LM refused breastfeeding, like any first time mother, I worried he might have severe nutritional deficits. Maybe even graduate at the bottom of his class. Or worse. So I pumped. Then, at just two weeks LM wound up in the hospital for a two week stay. But that’s a whole other story.

During the time in the hospital, I still diligently pumped. But LM hated breast milk, even with me on a bland diet. So we tried formula. Then colic ensued. So our pediatrician suggested Nutramagin. Worse colic. So the doctor prescribed another brand that was something like $30 for a 3 day supply. You’d think at that price the brand would be burned in my brain. It made the colic only slightly better.

We were referred to a pediatric gastroenterologist who told us if he had a nickel for every baby he saw with colic, he’d be a rich man. He patted us on the back, suggested we get some sleep (no – really?), and sent us home. Thanks for that. And my PPO thanks you too.

Fast forward to the LM at 2. At this age, he was too old for the four kinds of baby food he was willing to eat, so we tried to introduce “real” food. While trying to convince him that Cheerios are super fun “kid food”, he would gag violently when a single one was placed in his mouth. Finally, he was willing to eat PBJ sandwiches, but only when cut into bite-sized pieces that could be stabbed with a baby fork. Eventually, with some persuading from his aunt, he tried Goldfish crackers. Ahh, making progress. Then he added applesauce and yogurt. And of course, anything from the dessert food group was fair game. But there it stopped. For THREE years.

When I asked my pediatrician for advice, she lectured me about not giving in. She implied that I was being controlled by my child. But my husband and I are pretty strict parents. We haven’t raised a little dictator who rules our home.

The pediatrician suggested that we put food in front of the LM and when he got hungry enough, he’d eat. “Don’t be a short order cook,” she warned. So we tried. And in the spirit of the game, the LM raised the ante to an all out, 2 ½ day hunger strike. He was miserable, but not as miserable as we were. I felt like the worst mom on the planet. So on the third day, I made the PBJ and handed him the baby fork.

Now LM is five years old. Every single bite of every meal must be negotiated. We make deals about “healthy food” so he can have “snack food.” Until just recently, going to a restaurant required packing a meal that fit nicely in my purse. And really, that was quite easy. PBJ, Goldfish crackers and applesauce don’t take much room in a nice sized bucket bag. Restaurant dining with family also included (and still does) knowing stares from relatives who think we’re pushovers and should do a better job standing our ground. But what’s the point of shoving food into the LM’s mouth while he gags to the point of throwing up? Believe me, there were moments of desperation where I tried that. It didn’t work.

We had a mini breakthrough on the way to my birthday dinner in January. LM announced from the backseat, “you know, I might try something healthy tonight.” Just like that. We ordered grilled chicken and green beans, and he actually ate some. That was his first taste of meat since the ground up mystery meat in the baby food.

Since the breakthrough on my birthday, we’ve added chicken nugget Happy Meals to the menu selection. He tried the hamburger version first, and promptly informed me that “the brown stuff in the middle is gross mom.” But I don’t eat it either, so I can live with that.
When we’re invited to a birthday party, I try not to stare wistfully at the kids hungrily shoving pizza in their mouths. We wouldn’t have any of that. Instead, LM waits patiently while they eat, content with the knowledge that cake is on the way.

So, back to McKenna’s post and the spirit this is written. Please outdo me! I want to be one-upped. I want to know there are moms out there with experiences like mine – maybe even worse. And maybe someone will have some brilliant advice. All I want is to be an underachiever.

For the record, I could very easily lapse into ordering at a restaurant in a very When Harry Met Sally kind of way. But I do my best to refrain from requests for “on the side” because I don’t want to be one of them. But I still will not touch a raw tomato.

Do you have a craft specialty?

I don’t really have one except cooking–unless you call picking up and rearranging toys on a daily basis a craft. I recently took up knitting because here in our seminarian community it seems like everyone knits. Not that I am the kind of person that does something just because everyone else is doing it! It is just that I have a goal: I want to learn how to knit wool diaper covers (for cloth diapers). What better way to learn than to be surrounded by lots of other people that do! Wool diaper covers are great because they are water resistant, antibacterial and antimicrobial, they breathe, help prevent diaper rash, and don’t need to be washed as often as other cloth diaper covers. But they are expensive. Wool diaper covers are anywhere between $25-40+ and you need at least 2 of them to switch between during the day or night. I will also need a few different sizes as the baby grows which means I could easily spend a fortune over $100.

When I found out that it only costs about $6 to buy the yarn yourself and knit a diaper cover I was ecstatic! I thought, “Hey! I’m a smart lady, surely I can figure this out!” I love the idea of picking out some fun colors of yarn to knit with. I had a friend come by and get me started on the basics of knitting and purling and then I was left to my own devices. Well, I then decided that whoever invented knitting was someone wanting to torture people by making them feel stupid a genius.

Knitting is kind of hard. It is definitely an art! I know that many of our grandmothers know how to knit and somewhere along the way knitting became something only for old ladies. Knitting is an art that is coming back into style. If you go to the craft store, or even Target for that matter you can find little cutesy kits for knitting cool, funky scarves.

I found some free wool soaker patterns online and started following the directions to make them. I also found out that my desire to be perfect right away at everything new I try is a little unrealistic. Apparently I need some more help. I went to the half-price book store last night to see if they had Knitting for Dummies and perhaps one other intro to knitting book. I found all kinds of interesting books for knitting. I saw a book on how to knit clothes for punks, for babies, for kitchy items, pillows, sweaters and the like.

I have some practice yarn and right now have been practicing when I get a chance. Now that I have the very, very basics down of knitting and purling I am finding that the motions of knitting are relaxing. I can easily see how people get hooked on knitting. No pun intended.

I like thinking about how I will feel when I finish making the diaper soaker–although at times I wonder if Graham will be out of diapers by the time I figure it all out. There is something satisfying at making things with your own hands and providing for your family–and saving a bundle of money!

I have learned that you need a few things to start knitting:

1) A friend who knows how to knit because it is hard to learn everything from a book

2) A book to refer to for a picture how-to and any other questions

3) Knitting needles

4) Yarn

5) Patience

In case you are interested in learning how to knit here are some helpful links:

www.knittinghelp.com

www.knitpicks.com

www.knittingpatterncentral.com

Do you all have any crafts that you are good at or learning how to do?

A friend of mine recently sent an email asking a few moms for our input on car seats and stroller systems. I didn’t even know that car seats fit into strollers until I registered at Babies R Us. Luckily there was a very knowledgeable customer assistant to inform my husband and I on all the safety features. We ended up choosing the Graco Safeseat in the color we liked best. Also, the stroller that is paired with the seat has rubber wheels. I have been grateful for the rubber wheels when I use the stroller at the park. Even though we didn’t know a lot about car seats when we registered, we are happy with our Graco Safeseat.

How Do You Choose a Car Seat?

Babycenter.com says, “All car seats currently on the market meet the U.S. government’s stringent crash- and fire-safety standards, so any car seat you buy new is technically safe. (The same isn’t true for secondhand car seats or car seats purchased more than a couple of years ago, which may have been designed to meet outdated standards or may have been damaged in an accident or been recalled for safety violations.)”

I knew that we wanted more than one child, so we bought a new car seat in a gender neutral color to be used multiple times. We were very blessed that my old office gave me a gift card to buy our seat.

More in depth help with choosing a car seat:
Buying Advice (Consumer Reports.org)
Car seat safety: How to choose and use a car seat (BabyCenter.com)
Choosing a Car Seat: What You Need to Know (ivillage.com)
Carseat Buying Guide (Car-Safety.Org)
Car Seat Ratings (ConsumerReports.org)

Child Seat Safety

“Child safety seats reduce the risk of fatal injury by 71% (less than 1 year old) and by 54% for toddlers (1-4 years old) in passenger cars.” according the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s Traffic Safety Facts 2006.

There is a scene in Tyler Perry’s movie “Why Did I Get Married?” where Janet Jackson’s character is expressing her guilt on why her son passed. She explains how she was in a hurry, she thought that she had buckled her child in the correct way, and she had to swerve on the road and got into an accident. This scene haunts me. Every time I buckle in Ace I slow down and make sure that she is in her seat properly. I have heard of other mothers that have been in a hurry and something terrible happens. No matter how tired we are or how late we are, making sure that our children are buckled up safely takes priority over everything else.

More statistics on child seat safety:
Statistics on Car Seats from CarSeatSite.com
2007 NSUBS Results on Booster Seat, Child Restraint and Seat Belt Use
Car Safety Seats and Transportation Safety on American Academy of Pediatrics
Consumer Reports Car Seat Update from October 2007

Seat Installation

According to SeatCheck.org, “While 96 percent of parents and caregivers believe their child safety seats are installed correctly, research shows that seven out of 10 children are improperly restrained.”

What are the most common child safety seat installation mistakes? (from SeatCheck.org)

• Not using the right child safety seats for a child’s size and age;
• Not placing the child safety seat in the correct direction;
• Incorrect installation of the child safety seat in relation to the vehicle’s air bags;
• Incorrect installation and tightness of the child safety seat to the vehicle seat;
• Not securing or tightening the child safety seat’s harness and crotch straps;
• Improper use of locking clips for certain vehicle safety belts;
• Not making sure the vehicle’s seat belts fit properly across the child when using a booster seat; and
• Using a defective or broken child safety seat.

Locate a Child Safety Seat Inspection Station in your area:
Child Safety Seat Inspection Station Locator

How do you know when you are supposed to use the right car seat?

There are four basic types of car seats: Infant-only carrier, convertible seats, toddler booster seats, and booster seats. McKenna had the opportunity to interview Ms. Elaine Bobbey an Executive Officer for Evenflo at a recent Baby Expo in San Antonio, TX. In the video Ms. Bobbey explains the different types of car seats and what age you should use each one. She advocates that a child should use a seat until the age of 8.

More detailed information about the types of car seats:
Types of Car Seats (ConsumerReports.org)
Graco’s Guide for First Time Parents
NHTSA Video, “Not Sure Which Car Seat to Use?”

Car Seat Recalls

Car Seats are important for the safety of our children and we need to be aware if our seats have been recalled. To find out if your seat has been recalled you can look at the list on SaferCar.org.

How did you choose your car seat? How would advise anyone buying a car seat for the first time? What type of car seat do you use?