The Mom Crowd

We have been having some drama with our cat, Samuel, recently. It all began when he peed in our friend’s car seat. I even wrote about it here. Since then about once a week we would something else he peed on – a blanket, t-shirt, an empty plastic toy bin on floor. The last straw was when he peed in Annabelle’s toy basket in her toy corner. In an emotional response my husband threw him out the back door. I didn’t see him for at least two days.

On the third day we decided to take him to the vet and get him checked out and make sure that it wasn’t an infection or anything. I saw him on day four and brought him inside. About three hours later I was on the phone with the vet and I heard Annabelle scream like I have never heard her scream before. I immediately got off the phone and found that she was messing with the cats and Samuel scratched her. He scratched her inside her left ear and down her cheek. Samuel lost his second chance.

We took both Samuel and Elizabeth to the vet and they are both fine. We got them updated on their shots. The vet agreed that it was a behavioral problem. Last night I posted them on Craigslist. Hopefully I can find them a home without young children. If not, then our only other option is to find a no-kill shelter that will take them.

We never took the pets and a new baby class. Maybe I would have learned something. What I know is that our cat doesn’t like having a toddler in the house messing with him. With a second baby on the way we can’t take any chances. We have had our cats for 5 years and love them. They used to be my babies, until Annabelle came home. It was a tough decision to find them new homes, but in the end we have to do what is best for our family.

Have you ever had a problem with your pets and your children getting along? Have you had to find a new home for your pet when you brought your baby home?

UPDATE:

In the end Samuel scratched our daughter at least twice. We honestly couldn’t trust him with her and her safety is important to us. I feel that it would be impossible to keep them separate at all times. I don’t feel like Annabelle was doing much to entice the scratching. After two people were interested in looking at the cats, but never showed, we placed them back on Craigslist. A lady who only wanted Samuel came and adopted him. He has the most perfect home now. Her last cat just passed away last month. She lives by herself in a huge house and I know that Samuel is going to be spoiled beyond measure.

I did have hard time letting him go. I was very sad after he left, but I prayed about it. I feel like God told me that he sent the lady and that Samuel is fine now. In the end I realized that Samuel wasn’t acting like his usual laid back and loving self. Now I hope without a baby bugging him, he is more relaxed and happy.

We still have his sister, Elizabeth. My husband caved in and let me keep her. She isn’t pee’ing or scratching Annabelle. I think it is much easier to only care for one cat.

Months ago, Amanda posted a great peek into her daughter’s beautiful nursery.   I was so impressed with how cute and practical it was.  Recently, another friend of mine redecorated a room in her house to create a second nursery for her new son (nursery #1 is now her todder son’s bedroom).  I was practically drooling at the colors, the theme, and the pristine, matching furniture.  This weekend, I read the new People magazine, which featured “Baby Yearbook 2008″, covering celebrity baby lifestyles from fashion to nursery decor.  I marveled at J. Lo’s extravagant nursery for her twins, and then imagined what it must be like to have two other houses with two other nurseries decorated exactly the same way (Max & Emme won’t be confused at any of their three homes.)

My reality is altogether different.  Here are my true confessions:

• We’re renting a house.  This means major decorating is not only restricted, it’s kinda pointless.  Therefore, we make do with what we have.  And what we have is funny.  It’s hilarious watching peoples’ reactions to the wallpaper in my son’s room.  Three walls are a masculine, somewhat dark pattern, which is fine.  One wall, inexplicably, though, is a repeated pattern of pictures of colonial American buildings.   Let me say that again:  it’s a repeated pattern of pictures of colonial American buildings.   It’s a bit like having a giant, permanent history poster in your bedroom.  On the plus side, Eli has a better sense of our country’s past than I ever did at that age.  So, bonus!
• The crib bumper is adorable.  It’s green, blue, and red, which we bought at Wal-Mart.  It doesn’t match the wallpaper, of course, or anything else in the room, for that matter.
• There are no curtains for the window.  I wouldn’t even know how to hang them if I had some.
• I find random baby room decor at Target when it’s marked down, and occasionally, I buy it.  So Eli’s room has a few animal plaques here, some safari animal clings there, and a wooden sign that says “Thank Heaven for Little Boys” over his window (this sign was a gift, actually).  All of this is hung on top of that wallpaper.  (Sometimes, if you stare at the walls long enough, you can make out new images, like those old Magic Eyes books.)

• We’ve moved a few times since my kids were born.  Therefore, Eli’s room is also our storage/junk room.  This is fine for now, since he only uses the room for sleeping.  Other than the crib and wall decor, it’s pretty much my dumping ground for extra books, picture frames, and boxes.  His closet is our extra storage closet.

• My daughter Lucy’s room is painted blue.  Go figure.   
• I try to stay away from Pottery Barn Kids, Babies R Us, and other baby specialty shops as much as possible, to keep my envy in check.

As much as I wish I could have a nursery that is airy and bright and serene and precious, with gliding rockers and lullabies playing, it’s just not in the cards for me.  And frankly, the kids just don’t even know any better.   

Have you got any confessions you’d like to share?  Anyone out there in a similar boat?

p.s.  I recently painted these letters to add to the decor, and I am pretty proud of them.

I have had really good experiences and one bad experience in the booster seat department, and decided to share these experiences with you!  To be fair, I have only “tested” three different seats, so there may be other great options available.  I invite you to share what you love/hate about your booster seat in the comment section!

Fisher Price Healthy Care Deluxe Booster Seat

• What do I love about this seat?  Almost everything!  The price is great – around $25.00, it’s available in stores so you don’t have to wait for it to be shipped, it is very durable, it’s somewhat easy to clean, the pieces all fit in the bottom rack of my dishwasher, it’s portable, the kids like it, and it’s very well made!
• What do I NOT love about this seat?  Food crumbs get under the seat and so I do have to VERY regularly (after every meal!) clean underneath and around the chair, and that’s about all I can say negatively about this booster!
• Bottom line? I definitely recommend this to parents looking for a booster seat for their child!  It’s affordable, does the job, and is best of all STURDY and well made!

BabySmart Cooshie Booster Seat

• What do I love about this seat? My child can climb into it by herself, it is INCREDIBLY easy to clean my chair without having to unbuckle straps, the booster itself cleans very easily, it’s a super cute color, it’s SIMPLE and does not have unnecessary gadgets, and it’s easily removed when I need the chair for a bigger person.
• What do I NOT love about this seat? The price.  After tax, I spent $40.00 on this seat and that’s just too pricey for my everyday shopping.  We used some birthday cash Darah received and I don’t know if I would have splurged otherwise. That being said, if I would have known how much I was going to love it, I may have splurged.
• Bottom line? It’s a little pricey for what it is, but if you have $40 just laying around, it is definitely worth it! If not, maybe ask Grandma for one for your child’s next birthday or Christmas!  I will say, that as much as I like the Fisher Price booster, this one is DEFINITELY much nicer!  This seat is not recommended for any child under the age of 2 1/2.

Safetly 1st Fold N Go Deluxe Care Booster

•  What do I love about this seat? Umm…it’s a booster seat, and it’s cheap (selling for $20.00).
• What do I NOT love about this seat?  Where do I start?  Like I said above, it’s CHEAP!  The back of our booster broke off within a few weeks, my daughter’s little teeny peanut size body was too big in it for her to be comfortable, the tray is ridiculously difficult to maneuver, and it lasted about a month before I said “forget it!”
• Bottom line? Don’t waste your money, time, or energy on this product!

I’d love to hear your experiences with booster seats!  Please leave a comment!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been playing the album “No!” by They Might Be Giants during mealtimes.  Most lunches, in particular, I’m home alone with the kids, and musical stimulation is necessary for me to not go crazy with boredom.  (The kids are cute & all, but not exactly great conversationalists.)  I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. 

This album came out in 2002 – well before my kid-making days – which explains why I’m late in discovering it.  But what a fun discovery!  There are 17 tracks, but I’ve chosen a few favorites and why we like them.  Scroll down a little further to hear the songs instantly as you read about them!  They are all very short.

“In the Middle” – A cute little ditty that doubles as a public service announcement to tykes who want to cross the street. 

Don’t cross the street in the middle of the block
Use your eyes to look up
Use your ears to hear
Walk up to the corner when the coast is clear, and wait, and wait
Until you see the light turn green

I find myself doing a choreographed jig to this one when I’m making the grilled cheese.  (Yes, I think I can dance.) 

“I Am Not Your Broom” – The most TMBG-like.  In other words, totally random and silly, and not so musical.  Sure to get everyone’s attention.  Last week, it actually came on while I was sweeping.  Lucy stood there processing it all.  It was so funny.

“Bed, Bed Bed” – Its percussion beat had all three of us pounding on the table and dancing in our chairs.  Pull out the pots & pans and watch the family drumline fall into place!

“John Lee Supertaster” – Starts off with a funny spoken intro, and launches into a cool tune that sounds right out of the Ocean’s 11 soundtrack.  It’s perfect for a puppet act, which I’m trying to get my husband (a puppeteer) to put together.  Motown-style background singers and a superhero for a character?  What’s not to love?

“I Am a Grocery Bag” – Like it’s straight off a Beck album.  Ask the kids to list how many items they can recognize in the song.

In the special “Grooves for Mom” category:

“Sleepwalkers” & “Lazyhead &  Sleepybones”

“Where Do They Make Balloons?” (Eli, my 1-year old, busts a move to this one; evidently he likes the mellow stuff.)

And my personal favorite:

“Clap Your Hands” – it’s SO incredibly funky and fun, I dare you not to dance!!  This one has Lucy begging, “Again??!!” over & over.  I feel like I’m in 1960s motown when I hear it.  Air organ playing!!

Listen for yourself!

SeeqPod – Playable Search

Other albums my kids enjoy:

Lisa Loeb & Elizabeth Mitchell – “Catch the Moon”

Rockabye Baby - “Lullaby Renditions of U2″

Do you have these albums?  What other pop favorites of yours have made kids’ albums worth hearing? 

McKenna recently wrote an excellent post about finding a great nanny.  Right around the same time, my friend Jaimee mentioned she recently fired hers!  I asked her to tell her story as a helpful follow-up, as I know it’s something we can all learn from.  Jaimee (pictured) is a way-talented mom of two precious sons, and she posts incredible pictures of them on her blog, These Small Wonders.

L. seemed like the perfect summer nanny on paper. She was 26 with 10 years of nanny experience with great references, had a degree in child psychology, was an elementary school teacher and working toward her PhD! I was equally impressed with her in her interview.  She spoke of all of the different education methods she would use and the different games and educational experiences she could provide for our 18-month old son.  I was so excited to have someone to dedicate quality time to our 18 month-old son so I could work a few days a week, care for our newborn son, and feel good about the care he was receiving.  We had a fairly laid-back approach to the whole process because we were only hiring for the summer and we did not have to worry as much about the safety of our kids because my husband and I both work out of the house and would be around to supervise their care. We didn’t even interview anyone else for the position. 

But, it only took a few days for my bubble to burst.  We quickly found out that she was very lazy and immature, and not the perfect “teacher-like” nanny she had presented herself to be! 

She did not play with our son, or come up with activities to educate or entertain him…she just sat in the recliner in our playroom and turned the TV on cartoons to entertain him while she text messaged her friends or used my laptop to play on the internet.  When I would suggest an activity for them to do, she would do it once for a very short time and then never take the initiative to do it again.

She almost never helped with the dishes or laundry as we had discussed…even when the kids were both sleeping, she would just sit around.

In the 5 weeks she worked for us, she called in three times at the last minute to tell us she wouldn’t be in the next day because she had other things to do. She also showed up 35 minutes late one time and did not even bother to call to tell us where she was or if she was coming.
 
She acted very annoyed and even angry at our 18 month-old’s toddler behavior…He’s a perfectly normal, active toddler, she just thought he should be perfectly behaved at all times.  And, if he wasn’t a perfect angel, she would blame it on our parenting skills.  I think she thought she was “Super Nanny” with the job of correcting our parenting.  She really believed that any toddler that was raised” with her “techniques” would be perfectly behaved at all times.  She even had the nerve to tell my husband that we just needed to follow-through with what she was trying to do so our son would be better behaved.

One of the things she was trying to do was to get our son to talk by coercion.  She would leave him in his highchair until he used “his words”.  The problem was, he didn’t have any words to use in that situation and he ended up getting so frustrated that he began having temper tantrums anytime we put him in his highchair…something he had never done before. I have a degree in Speech Pathology…coercion isn’t the way you get a child to talk!   His behavior began to get worse and worse the longer she was around.

When she did help with our newborn son, she did not follow my instructions.  One day I walked in to find the baby sleeping on his stomach on top of a fluffy quilt.  I told her that he could not sleep on his stomach because of the risk of SIDS.  She told me that was “old school” and that it was fine.  I corrected her and explained that every medical professional will now stress the importance of back sleeping.  But, a week later, I walked in to find the baby on his stomach on top of a loose blanket.  He was awake, but unsupervised, and he had worked his head back and forth enough to get the blanket stuck in his mouth!  That was the end of my patience!

We decided we needed to fire her, and we were going to tell her at the end of the 5th week.  But, on Tuesday of that week, she did not show up or call us until 50 minutes after she was supposed to be at our house.  Since this was the second time that happened, we felt we had clear justification for letting her go immediately. 

The entire experience was horrible.  I was so relieved when we finally fired her!  I learned a lot about what not to do when hiring and managing a nanny and hope that the next time we go through this process, we will be wiser, stronger and more prepared.  I would do a few things differently next time:

• Interview several different nannies even if the first one knocks my socks off!
• Schedule a trial day with two to three of the nannies/babysitters that I am interested in to see how they react to an entire day of being with my kids.
• Be more direct about my expectations up front.  After you’ve put up with laziness for even a day or two, it is harder to correct that behavior.
• Fire quickly.  We waited way too long to let our nanny go.  We wanted to give her a chance to get better and do the right thing, but we should not have put up with a lot of the things we did for as long as we did…it wasn’t the right thing to do for us or our kids!
• Setup video monitoring.  Even though we were home at all times, I still felt uncomfortable about what our nanny might have been doing when we weren’t looking. Before we hire another nanny we plan to have a monitoring system set up so we can look in on our kids at any time.

Fortunately for us, we won’t have to go through the nanny hiring process any time soon…my mother-in-law asked to be our next hire!  So, for now at least, we have the perfect nanny!