Are Your Kids a Burden or a Blessing?
Of course we all believe that our kids are a blessing, but what message are we sending our children? If they are a gift to you, do they know it? When they just spilled milk all over the couch they may not feel like a blessing at that moment, but we do have times when we can express our love for them.
What are the words that you say to them? Even caring and loving parents may not send the right message if their words don’t back up their intentions. Telling your kids that they were an accident, even in a joking manner, may communicate the message that they weren’t wanted.
My parenting class asks, “Are they an interruption or a part of your dreams and goals?” A child may even feel their parent’s resentment, because a parent had to give up their dreams when they learned that they were pregnant. I really hope that my baby is a part of what we do. I had the option of staying home with her for two weeks or bring my baby and go with my husband and friends to the Philippines from Texas. My husband and I thought and prayed about it. We reminded ourselves of our goal to include our children in our trips. So she became a part of our dreams and goals and we all went on the trip.
Have you told them? Kids like to hear it straight. Saying the words “I am so glad I get to be your mom (or dad).” to them sends a message that they are significant and that they matter.
My daughter is only ten months old, but I believe she can already tell how much we love her. One way that I show my baby how much I love her is by jumping up and down and clapping when I go get her from her nap. I say, ”I am so glad to see you!” when I first walk in, even though she only napped for 45 minutes and I am certainly not done returning emails and switching loads. My baby would definitely get a different message if I growled at her when I walked in and unhappily changed her diaper.
Spending time with your children and telling them how much you love them will help them see themselves as a blessing to you.
How do you show your kids that they are a blessing to you?
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I love this reminder! I have heard that being overly excited when you greet your child is a great way to communicate how happy you are with them (maybe it was the same parenting class?) While sometimes my kids interrupt my normal day to day things I’d like to get done, in the big picture they are more than I could have ever wished for and aren’t interrupting anything more valuable than my time with them. When I’m frustrated because they are waking up in the middle of the night or are interrupting my “to-do list” time, I am going to remember this! Thanks!!!
Oh yeah, the question…I show my kids they are a blessing to me by singing and dancing randomly throughout the day. I also talk to them about everything. When I’m upset about something random, I take a time-out and try to not let them pick up on my emotions. These two angels are so precious to me and I would hate for them to ever think that I didn’t love them more than life itself!
This is a great follow-up article to my post last week about that Soccer Moms t.v. show and the conversation we all had about it. Meaning, that show seemed to imply that the kids got in the way of moms’ dreams. But I love how you brought back to the forefront the idea that our kids mean more to us than anything else. (And I wonder how many moms, when they become empty nesters, will find fulfillment in the things they put off while their kids were home. More than likely, they’ll be wishing they had their kids back and not care about whatever job or plan they had for the future.)
I too jump up & down when I get Lucy up from her nap. It’s a blast. I also shower my kids with hugs & kisses all day long, but don’t we all do that?? I make up silly songs about my kids throughout the day and sing about what they’re doing at the time. “Lucy’s eating Maca-RONI! And cheese!!” “Eli’s playing with the blocks!! La la la!” It’s silly but fun.
really great reminder amanda. i remember seeing on oprah once that your face should light up when your child walks in the room. i’ve always remembered that comment. whenever i see my son for the first time after a long day of work and school, i always try to make him feel as though i was seeing a really important friend.
This is such a sweet message. Sometimes it is hard to show someone we love them. It takes great effort to stop, and say “i love you” like you mean it with all your heart. Its not just with the kids but with our husbands and friends and the rest of the people who are part of our lives. Today was pretty stressful for me with my 2-yr old. And I was just thinking the same thing: how can I still be so amazed having her presence in our lives, and at the same time exasperated with her about making messes all around the house. THanks for writing this. Honestly, I’m glad I read this entry today.