The Mom Crowd

A couple of weeks ago, my husband shocked me by bringing home Raising Helen from the library.  He said, “I’ve never seen it but I thought it’d be fun to watch together.”  I had only seen it once, before I had my kids.  I remembered it was the least annoying Kate Hudson movie I’d seen.  And Dave was right: we did have fun watching it together, mostly for the cheesy tagline: “She gave up the life she loved for the new loves of her life.”  Catchy!  I kept telling Dave, “This is still the life she loves.  Soon you’ll meet the kids who’ll become the loves of her life.”  Ha ha ha.  It doesn’t take much to get us going.

Anyway, Kate’s okay in this one.  She plays Helen Harris, who becomes the primary caregiver of her deceased sister’s three children.  Before the accident, Helen was a carefree, up-and-coming, in-the-moment kind of woman living in New York.  She loved her job in a swanky modeling agency, and she had a pulse on everything that was new and fierce.  She was also the “cool” aunt in the family, the one with the great hair.

Now that she’s suddenly in charge of a 15-year old, a 12-year old, and a 7-year old, Helen is forced to give up her old lifestyle (the one she always loved, sorry, couldn’t resist) and become a mom – overnight.  This involves more than just making sure the kids get to school on time.  This means Helen has to grow up herself, hence the title.

Throughout the film, we see Helen enduring lots of life changes in a short period of time: losing her job (“fashion and family don’t mix”, her boss says dismissively) and moving to Queens, becoming a receptionist at a used car dealership, and trying to prove to her surviving sister Jenny (played to annoying, uptight perfection by Joan Cusack) that she is capable of raising the kids.  Before she gains Jenny’s respect, though, she has to learn how to be a parent.  Before, she was teenager Audrey’s fun aunt – now, she’s the one calling the shots.  And Audrey tests her boundaries, dating the school bad boy and sneaking out on prom night.  When Helen tries to put a stop to it all, Audrey shouts: “Don’t you remember what it’s like to be young?”  And Helen replies, “Of course I remember.  It was last Wednesday!” 

There are numerous other things happening that Helen has to deal with, like starting a new relationship with yummy John Corbett (hey, no time like the present!), and mending the strained relationship with her sister.  Of course, it all works out in the end.  Helen makes her authority clear to the kids, and they love and respect her as their new parent figure.  Jenny gives Helen the respect she earns.  And little Abigail Breslin learns to tie her shoes all by herself.  Helen’s a success, and still with great hair!

Interesting quotes from the film:

“You’re quite the detective!” – Helen to Jenny  “No, I’m a mom.” – Jenny, trusting her instincts to find Audrey on prom night

“Not all women are meant to be mothers.” – Ibsen, as quoted by Helen’s former boss

“I’m not a mom.  I’m not brave!” – Helen, panicking

Did you see this one?  Was it strange to see Helen Mirren and Hayden Panettiere playing parts other than Queen Elizabeth and the Heroes cheerleader, respectively?  I know this is a Garry Marshall movie and all, but is this a realistic portrayal of the demands of motherhood? 

P.S.  I just finished watching No Reservations, the little-seen Catherine Zeta-Jones/Aaron Eckhart rom-com.  Its plot is pretty similar to Raising Helen, except this time, our “new mom” is an executive chef.  Interestingly enough, she did not have to quit her job to take care of her niece.  The surviving daughter in this one is also played by Abigail Breslin (that child is everywhere these days!)  I found the movie to be about as bland as its title.  It focused on the relationship of the two romantic leads and all of the scrumptious foods they prepared – not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Foodies would love this movie – I just didn’t think it had much to say about motherhood other than, whoa, finding a decent babysitter takes some effort!   Check it out and tell me what you think!

Our friends over at DoesMommyLoveIt.com is giving away three copies of the book, The Baby Gizmo Buying Guide. All you have to do is stop by their post and comment to enter! But you better hurry, because the contest ends tomorrow.

Do you have a craft specialty?

I don’t really have one except cooking–unless you call picking up and rearranging toys on a daily basis a craft. I recently took up knitting because here in our seminarian community it seems like everyone knits. Not that I am the kind of person that does something just because everyone else is doing it! It is just that I have a goal: I want to learn how to knit wool diaper covers (for cloth diapers). What better way to learn than to be surrounded by lots of other people that do! Wool diaper covers are great because they are water resistant, antibacterial and antimicrobial, they breathe, help prevent diaper rash, and don’t need to be washed as often as other cloth diaper covers. But they are expensive. Wool diaper covers are anywhere between $25-40+ and you need at least 2 of them to switch between during the day or night. I will also need a few different sizes as the baby grows which means I could easily spend a fortune over $100.

When I found out that it only costs about $6 to buy the yarn yourself and knit a diaper cover I was ecstatic! I thought, “Hey! I’m a smart lady, surely I can figure this out!” I love the idea of picking out some fun colors of yarn to knit with. I had a friend come by and get me started on the basics of knitting and purling and then I was left to my own devices. Well, I then decided that whoever invented knitting was someone wanting to torture people by making them feel stupid a genius.

Knitting is kind of hard. It is definitely an art! I know that many of our grandmothers know how to knit and somewhere along the way knitting became something only for old ladies. Knitting is an art that is coming back into style. If you go to the craft store, or even Target for that matter you can find little cutesy kits for knitting cool, funky scarves.

I found some free wool soaker patterns online and started following the directions to make them. I also found out that my desire to be perfect right away at everything new I try is a little unrealistic. Apparently I need some more help. I went to the half-price book store last night to see if they had Knitting for Dummies and perhaps one other intro to knitting book. I found all kinds of interesting books for knitting. I saw a book on how to knit clothes for punks, for babies, for kitchy items, pillows, sweaters and the like.

I have some practice yarn and right now have been practicing when I get a chance. Now that I have the very, very basics down of knitting and purling I am finding that the motions of knitting are relaxing. I can easily see how people get hooked on knitting. No pun intended.

I like thinking about how I will feel when I finish making the diaper soaker–although at times I wonder if Graham will be out of diapers by the time I figure it all out. There is something satisfying at making things with your own hands and providing for your family–and saving a bundle of money!

I have learned that you need a few things to start knitting:

1) A friend who knows how to knit because it is hard to learn everything from a book

2) A book to refer to for a picture how-to and any other questions

3) Knitting needles

4) Yarn

5) Patience

In case you are interested in learning how to knit here are some helpful links:

www.knittinghelp.com

www.knitpicks.com

www.knittingpatterncentral.com

Do you all have any crafts that you are good at or learning how to do?

Children are born wanting to grow up to be just like their parents. We are their constant role-models and their sneak peak into their adult lives. To think that I’m the only mom my two children are going to have blows my mind! Even at their very young ages, I have seen them start to emulate my husband and myself. Some of the things they’ve picked up from us are super cute. Some things they are picking up from my husband and I are not so cute. I have seen my three year old pick up bad habits that only I can take credit for and my 16 month old’s temper is seemingly familiar. I have started to be more aware of how many bad habits and inappropriate things I’m doing in front of my children. I have started to really pay attention to the things I do and say in front of my kids.

There are a few biggies that I have really been trying to avoid when my children are awake and in earshot.

Arguing with my spouse
While this is very obvious, it is something that is not always easy. Finding time to have that “debate” with my husband can be hard because sometimes I don’t want to wait until they’re in bed. It stresses my kids out when my husband and I are tense toward each other. They really pick up on our relationship dynamics!

Lying
Those little white lies like “tell her I’m in the shower and I can’t talk right now” are setting a very bad example. Children can not determine the difference between white lies and major lies, and it’s not fair to expect them to have integrity and to always be honest if you are not setting that example for them.

Gossiping or speaking badly about others
Those side comments about the horrible driver in front of you or talking bad about someone else while you’re talking on the phone is being carefully documented by your little one. We all want our children to be positive, encouraging people and we’re doing them a disservice by exposing them to the negative, discouraging world of gossip and putting down other people. I have a hard time with this when I’m talking to my husband about the happenings of the day. It’s easy for me to slip a negative comment in there about someone that made my day more difficult and I really don’t want my children to focus on the negative aspects of other people.

Swearing (and the like)
The words that you do not want coming out of your child’s mouth shouldn’t be coming out of your mouth when your kids are present. This goes beyond the standard s-words and b-words and includes “retarded” (which is a word I despise when it’s abused!) or “crap” or even simple things like “I hate that!” I have not been as careful as I should be about what comes out of my mouth in front of my children. Neither one are really talking yet, so I haven’t had my true reality check where one of my children says something that is inappropriate but I know that they are listening and remembering every word that I say and every reaction that I have.

The flip side to all of this is that our children are also taking notes of all of our wonderful attributes! When we do something generous for someone else, our children are watching. When we speak kindly about someone on the phone, our children are listening. When we give our spouse a big ole’ kiss when he walks in the door, our children feel warm inside because their parents love each other. Nobody is going to be a perfect example for their children at all times. We’re all human and all have our weaknesses. The best we can do is become aware of the things we’re doing that we need to change and try to change! We can also strive to do positive things in front of our children and hope that they are paying more attention to our positive habits than our negative ones.

What other areas do we need to guard against in front of our children? What areas do you struggle with the most as a mom?

My friend Staci put one of her daughter’s headbands on my daughter while I visited her. I instantly loved it, because it was super cute and it fit Ace’s head. The headband is from Bugalug Baby. Their headbands are two sided ribbons and have a clear, soft plastic toggle that adjusts the size of the headband.

What I honestly love most about the headband is that it stayed in my daughter’s hair the entire day, including a trip to the zoo. She never pulled it off her head once. She is constantly pulling out the smaller barrettes that I use. Also, I think it is easier to notice if she drops the headband rather than a barrette, because it so much more obvious it is gone.

I had a difficult time finding a headband or a bow for Ace’s Easter photo. I looked at Kohl’s, Babies R Us, and Target and I never saw anything like this. I ended up getting a bow at a boutique baby store, because the headband I liked at the store was eleven dollars. The headbands at Bugalug Baby are eight dollars a piece which seems to be about the going rate for these type of accessories.

One thing that I also like about the headband is that it also looks cute in my hair. So I am ordering two that I would like to wear myself and share with my daughter. I get twenty dollars a month to feed my baby shopping habit. I know what I am going to spend my twenty bucks on this month.

When I told Bugalug Baby that I was going to mention them they graciously offered The Mom Crowd readers a 10% off promotion code! Just use the promo code “MCR10″ when you are checking out.

By the way, they also sell the coolest barrettes too.