The Mom Crowd

Do you have a community where you can find friends who will listen to you vent or just watch your kids for an hour? I don’t know what I would do without my online community of friends and my friends who live near me. I need them to ask advice or have adult interaction that lets me think about something other than diapers and what is for lunch. We sometimes watch each other’s kids while we go to appointments. I got through my three months of extreme morning sickness with the help and kindness of my friends.

Creating a community for yourself whether it be online or physically in your local area takes work. You have to step out of your shell and possibly risk rejection. You have to keep up with people’s lives. You have to schedule playdates and make time for people. You have to watch their kids, if they watch yours. No matter how much work it is, the benefits of having friends and community far outweigh the disadvantages of not having a group of people that you can lean on.

Here are a few places to find community:

• Online 

There are forums, blogs (like ours!), and social networks. I love reading my friends’ blogs. Dawn is one of our writers here. I haven’t seen her in person in 10 years, but I feel like I have a good friend through her blog, Facebook, and our emails. I haven’t really gotten into forums. I tried Baby Center, but just never got into it. I like Cafe Mom and the Mom Bloggers Club. I just recently became active in my Facebook account. I have a Twitter account, but none of my friends use it so it fell by the wayside. I like that The Mom Crowd is a part of the Blogher community and I enjoy reading other moms in the Blogher Network.

• Groups Targeting Mothers

MOPS is an organization to help you find other moms in your community. Stroller Fit leads you in workouts while pushing your baby in a stroller. You could join a La Leche League Group for breastfeeding mothers or find a playgroup in your area on Meetup.com.

• Your Neighborhood

Meeting your neighbors can be tricky, because you have catch them while they are outside. I met one mom at the playground. I stopped another mom while she was out walking. I am sure some of them think I am nuts, but I know where I can go if I need just a teaspoon of vanilla to finish my batter (true story). Just knowing who our immediate neighbors are is helpful and may even help you find a babysitter if one of them has a teenager looking for some cash.

• Church

A local church can be a great place to find other mothers who live around you. I have at least 5 friends that I met at church within a five-minute drive from me that I know I can call on if I need some help. During Hurricane Ike my friend Kara came over at the last minute to help me clean my house to get ready for guests. Depending on the size of the church it can be hard to meet people on a Sunday morning and you may have to attend an activity, a class, a life group, or a small group. Going to a small group can be difficult with kids bedtimes and schedules, but making time for meeting and connecting with people is worth the effort to have community.

So where do you find community? Do you feel supported or this something that you have to work at?

The Mom Crowd is taking the rest of the week off to be with our families. In the mean time you should check out Betty Confidential, a website chocked full of interesting articles for women. They just recently published McKenna’s post about Living Within Your Means. You will also see other The Mom Crowd posts on Betty too! So go check out Betty Confidential!

Enjoy your weekend and remember to be thankful. Even when your family is driving you nuts or your favorite football is losing. (Although,  the Texas Longhorns have no reason to lose to the Aggies tomorrow night!)

I know I am thankful for my Preggy Card which entitles me to seconds thirds of everything!

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the things in our lives that we are most thankful for.  It is also a time to consider others who do not have as much as us and serve those who are in need.  Our sermon at church last Sunday was about serving the world around you, and I have been reflecting this week on ways I can serve those in need and how to teach my children to do the same.  While our family is not rolling in money, we have more than enough and more than we need.  We are truly blessed!

My children do not want for anything and it is important to my husband and I that our children are aware of the wonderful blessings in their lives and cognizant of those who do not have the luxuries and the necessities of life.  We very much want for them to have hearts for serving others and know that the best way to instill servant hearts in them is to have servant hearts ourselves!

There are so many people in our communities who are in need.  Here are some way you and your family can really make a difference in someone’s life this holiday season:

1. Visit with residents of your local nursing home or assisted living facility.

2. Adopt a family in need and make them a holiday dinner, bring their children presents, and give them a Christmas they may not have otherwise had.

3. Contact your local Ronald McDonald House to serve families of children who are hospitalized during the holidays.

4. Contact your local Pregnancy Crisis Center to serve pregnant mothers in need.

5. Bake cookies for your neighbors.

6. Serve Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner to the homeless in your community.

7. Pick a child from an Angel Tree.

8. Leave a really generous tip the next time you eat out!

9. Invite a family or someone who is not able to spend the holidays with their own family over to your house for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.

10. Take your family caroling to your local hospital, retirement community, or nursing home.

11. Make a shoebox of toys for Operation Christmas Child.

12. Sponsor a child through Compassion International.

13. Sponsor an orphan with Down syndrome through Reece’s Rainbow’s Christmas Angel Tree Project.

14. Contact your county for information on how to help foster children in your area this holiday season.

15. Visit members of your church who are in the hospital.

16. Offer to dog-sit for friends who are traveling during the holidays so they do not have to pay expensive kennel costs.

17. Contact your local ARC and see how you can help make the holidays extra special for people with disabilities.

18. Offer to run errands or drive an elderly or sick neighbor to doctor appointments.

19. Keep packed snacks in your car for those who are asking for money or food at street corners. {I got this idea from our church}

20. Next time you’re at drive-thru, tell the cashier that you want to pay for the person’s tab behind you as well as a gift…even though you don’t know them!

21. Have your children decorate cards, ornaments, or cookies to send to our military troops overseas.

What are some ways you plan on serving others this holiday season?  How do you instill attitudes of serving others in your children throughout the year?

When I had my daughter I knew I would be traveling to the Philippines 7 months later and breastfeeding would be the easiest way to travel with her. So in those first few months I had to become proficient at breastfeeding in public places, because I didn’t know where I would be when I had to nurse Annabelle.

I am an incredibly modest person and I didn’t necessarily want to nurse in front of other men on a mission trip, but I had to learn how to nurse modestly. After the research I had done, I was surprised to find breastfeeding really common in the Philippines and some women would nurse while sitting in the church sanctuary. I wasn’t quite that brave.

Here is what I learned about nursing in public in the 14 months I nursed my daughter.

1. Be Confident. If you aren’t ashamed, then every one else will pick up on that vibe and they won’t be weirded out either. Besides, there is nothing to be ashamed about anyway!  I never made a big deal about it and I tried to be as discreet as possible.

2. Wear the right clothes. I never wanted to show my tummy gleaming with silvery lines on my stomach, so I would strategically wear clothes that I wouldn’t have to pull up my shirt. I would often wear a nursing bra or a nursing camisole under a shirt I could button down or had a large V-neck. Or I would wear a nursing camisole under a t-shirt and I could lift up the t-shirt without exposing my belly.

3. Use a nursing cover. I don’t think I ever nursed in public without one. I always felt confident that I was covered up and if my boob was out no one could see it. I used a cover that had a wire on top that bent to create a u-shape that I could look down into and make sure that my baby was doing alright. I bought mine here, but you can also buy some beautiful ones at Tot-to-Go.

4. Find a chair in a nursing room, restroom, or a changing room while traveling around town. I would sometimes plan my outings around Babies R Us, because they have a comfortable nursing room with a rocking chair. No one ever noticed that I wouldn’t buy anything. I would also scope out and make mental notes of restrooms that had a chair or couch in the ladies room. Sometimes I would just find an out of the way bench or nursed in the car. I think the more I nursed the more bold I became about where I nursed.

5. Practice! It took me a few times to practice holding my baby, putting the nursing cover on, and getting my boob out of my clothes. I would practice at parties or at homes with men around, so I could become more comfortable with it. I remember practicing at Ikea and it was one of the first times I had used my cover and I flashed my boob to Ikea somehow in the process.  I don’t think anyone cared.

Here is a very blurry photo of me nursing on a Jeepney…

…with about 20 other people on board. I think this is the weirdest place I ever nursed.

Need more information? Check out this awesome video by Susanne Carvin. I watched it when I first started nursing and I found it really helpful!

Did you (do you) nurse in public? Are you shy about it or was it not a big deal? Where is the weirdest place you ever nursed?

Earlier this week, I was discussing with my hubby the definition of “preppy“.  It all started because I called our son “Mr. Preppy” – he was wearing a polo-shirt style onesie and the collar was “popped” for a second.  So cute.  In fact, it was his outfit for fall pictures at pre-school a few weeks ago.

It got me thinking about all the different fashion statements we like to make with our children.   For the first several years, they are definitely wearing what we choose for them.  In a way, we make them little reflections of ourselves.  Have you ever dressed your child in clothing that:

• represents a favorite sports team/alma mater/band or musical act?
• makes some kind of political statement?
• matches your own outfit to a tee?

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with this; it’s part of the fun of having a child, in my opinion.  We’ve all done this in some form or another, either by choice or because the clothing was a gift from family members, right?  (My children have been wearing more than their fair share of Philadelphia sports teams gear for the past 2 years, that’s for sure. ) 

I’m curious: do you think about what style you want your baby to wear?  Do you seek out certain plaid, button-down styles?  Do you gravitate toward the frilly stuff for your daughter?  Are you prone to stocking up on shirts that have the latest Disney characters screened on them? 

I work in our church nursery each Sunday, so I glimpse a little bit of everything: kids in hand-me-downs, kids in linen overalls and white-collared shirts, kids in Baby Gap from hat to socks, kids in cartoon-related clothes, kids in garage sale clothes.   

The picture above is one that I took of my daughter’s closet when she was first born: stocked with precious dresses and outfits that were ultimately only useful one or two times.  I loved dressing her in them and I miss all that frilliness.  But she’s going on 3 now.  She’s in pre-school two days a week.  It’s all practical, all the time for her.  Jeans, tees, sneakers, and a jacket.  We can’t afford much more than this.  We get everything at Target and Wal-Mart, and we’ve become huge garage sale fans, scoring scads of good clothing at a fraction of the cost.   

Other moms’ thoughts on this subject:

• Junior High, Revisited 
• How to Dress Up Your Kids In Style
• Do  You Have a Problem Dressing Your Children In Wal-Mart Clothes?
• Dress  Your Child For Success: 5 Steps to Building Confidence Through Appearance

What do you think? What habits have you formed in acquiring your kids’ wardrobes?How important is your child’s clothing to you?  Is this irrelevant in our troubling economic times?  Weigh in below.