The Mom Crowd

 March is a big month for your contributors at The Mom Crowd: Amanda, our founder, just had her second child, and McKenna is going to Eastern Europe for the first time to meet her new daughter (for the first time!)  When Amanda asked for guest posters to step in and share their wisdom, the response was phenomenal.  Keep coming back to The Mom Crowd every day for fabulous information, tips, stories, and inspiration!

Trina is a busy married (but single!) parent:  she takes care of her two year old and her beagle Gidgett, and gives support to her now-overseas husband.  After all that, she still has time to read her favorite blog, The Mom Crowd.

Once upon a time, I got married, had a rough-but-good pregnancy, experienced beautiful labor and welcomed a little girl into the world with my husband of 2 years.  We had plans of watching her grow together.  My husband could not wait to hold his little girl.  Fast forward 16 months:  I am a single mom.  No, I did not get divorced.  My husband in the United States Air Force and is currently deployed for a year in the war.  Gone are the days of “Honey, can you please change the baby?” and “I need a free day – can you watch her?”

When my husband left for the war in August, our daughter had just turned 18 months old.  At the time, I had no idea how much work it actually was being a Single Parent.  There are many nights where I crawl into bed un-showered and in the same clothes from the day before. To say the least, it’s been an interesting adventure for my daughter and me. 

My favorite single parent moment (when it finally hit me I was all alone) was when my daughter was very sick with a stomach flu.  She has tendency to always throw up on me.   This time, she spewed all over me, herself, the dog and anything else in her way.  After picking the vomit out of my eyes so I could see, I headed to the shower, still dressed, with baby in arms.  We stood under the running water until no trace of the sickness remained.  

Remembering all of my many single mom stories makes me laugh now.  I also feel blessed to have this special time with my daughter.  This might sounds selfish, but I will never have this alone time with her again.  It has made our relationship stronger.  My single-mom days have also made me a better mother for my daughter and for any other child we have in the future.

It has now been 6 ½ months since my husband was deployed, and life is going well. The holidays have passed, and Daddy will soon be home for his R&R.  He gets to be home for 14 days and then back to war for another 7 months.  Though we can’t wait to see him, my biggest concern will be fitting him back into our life and routine.  My daughter and I have a schedule and do our own thing.  It has been a long time since I have had to take into consideration what my other half might have planned!  Since this is such a short trip, I am considering letting the schedule go (a little) and just go with the flow.  I am also aware that Daddy does not understand how much work at 2 year old is! 

Through this experience, I have developed a new respect for all single parents. No matter what your situation is, you deserve an award for all you do for your children.  Hang in there!

Are you a single parent?  What kinds of challenges do you face?  What strategies have you found to help you get through your days?  How do you strive to keep a positive outlook?

 

It seems like I’m always writing about books, an article I read here, a website I found there.  I guess that says something about how I like to spend some of my free time (escape from the kids time).  

 

Instead of writing about some enjoyable reading resource for us moms, I thought I would write about magazines for kids this week.  My mom loves to spoil the kids and she has ordered us some subscriptions to some fun magazines.  I thought I’d give a review on the ones we have received in case you were looking for some fun reading material for your own kids.  They also make great gifts for others if you are looking for something a little educational and fun that lasts all year long.  

 

1. Ladybug Magazine- We were given a bagful of some old magazines by our neighbor who had read and reread them to several of her 

children.  I had never heard of Ladybug before, but I gotta tell you that my 4 and 5 year old LOVE them.  We had a stack of about 20-30 magazines and we have read them so many times that they can look at the covers and know what is inside.  Ladybug is a great magazine for preschoolers and toddlers. Each magazine usually focuses on some kind of theme, like rain, and will incorporate rain into several of the stories.  The magazine is full of short stories, one or two longer stories, a song, some poems, and two cartoons that are simple-with easy to love characters.  When my mom came to visit she read several of the magazines to them and decided to order a subscription.  They squeal with delight when one comes in the mail.  

 

2. Zootles- Another good find.  Zootles is a magazine for 2-5 year olds.  It focuses on on animal and has several stories, pictures, and facts about the animal of the month. It also introduces a letter and a number in each issue.  A one year subscription provides 6 issues since it only comes out every other month.  The kids also enjoyed this one and learned a lot about animals.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Zoobooks- Is made by the same company as Zootles but is geared for older kids. The stories and information in the magazines is more complex.  The kids also had this magazine for a while.  They really enjoyed it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. National Geographic Kids- This is a fun magazine too but it is definitely geared for kids 7 and up.  I actually enjoy reading this one more than my kids do–but I imagine that it is entertaining for kids in the right age group.  The magazine has fun articles about living green and how kids can contribute to caring for the earth.  It has funny jokes, wild and interesting facts, amazing but true stories about animals, movie reviews from a kid’s perspective, and lots of ads for video games (that part I don’t like so much).

 

 

 

 

 

5. Kids Discover- Is geared for 7-12 year olds. Another gift from my mom.  I think she was trying to give them something that was interesting and educational.  I have to say it was a flop–but they were just too young.  Again, I enjoyed reading it more than the kids. If the boys were a few years older, I think they would enjoy some of the magazines a lot.  We did sit down and read the last issue together because it was about chocolate.  And who doesn’t love chocolate?  We were all fascinated about the science of how chocolate is made and where it comes from.  This magazine would make a great addition to any homeschooling family!

 

 

 

 

6. Highlights Top Secret Adventures- This one showed up in our mailbox and we were all intrigued.  A new package comes in the mail every month and the kids squeal again when they see it.  Top Secret Adventures is a kit that includes a small puzzle of a country, a book about the country containing facts and information about the culture, people, regions, major cities, language, and food.  It also includes a puzzle book where you enter a journey as a top secret agent trying to figure out who the crook is, what they stole, and where it is hidden.  The puzzles teach kids how to think critically and logically.  I’m sure you can tell by the sound of it, that is is not geared toward the preschool ages but my kids love it.  We sit and do it together.  They of course, need help with all the reading but there are some puzzles they can do without our help and we have noticed in the last few months that they are able to understand and do more without so much help from us.  It is something I would enjoy doing by myself too!  

 

7. Highlights Hidden Pictures Playground- If you have kids who love stickers, like to draw, and maybe do seek and find pictures then this is a good magazine.  My kids aren’t into it very much though.  I’m not sure why but I think it is because they don’t love to color. I usually do bring the magazines with us on long car rides or plane trips to give them something to do for a while.  They don’t squeal with delight when it comes in the mail or piles up in their book corner but it does provide something different to do while we are traveling.  

 

 

 

 

8. God’s World News Early Edition- Is a gift from my in-laws.  I have found it to be interesting and enjoyable too.  The magazine covers a broad spectrum of stories happening around the world.  It touches on animals, history, science, culture all through the perspective that God cares about our world and what happens in it.  Young readers or preschoolers will like looking at the pictures and reading some of the simple stories in it.  There are sections marked for parents to read to children (who are too young to read themselves).  It also has a few puzzle games in it for a fun follow up activity.  

 

 

 

 

Wow, I didn’t realize that we had so many subscriptions in the past few years until writing them down.  Do you get any magazines for your kids?  Which ones?  Had any bombs?  Which ones?  Don’t be shy–share your opinion!

 

Welcome to the world, Roman Anton!

Born March 3, 2009

2:18 p.m.

9 pounds, 1 ounce

I’m sure Amanda will have more details in a future post, but for now, know that everyone is well and filled with joy!

March is a big month for your contributors at The Mom Crowd: Amanda, our founder, is about to have her second child, and McKenna is going to Eastern Europe for the first time to meet her new daughter (for the first time!)  When Amanda asked for guest posters to step in and share their wisdom, the response was phenomenal.  Keep coming back to The Mom Crowd every day for fabulous information, tips, stories, and inspiration! 

Our first guest poster is Kristi, the mom of three wonderful children and a personal trainer to strong, beautiful women and one reluctant husband.  We are happy to have her!  Her story is bound to touch your heart.  Be sure to leave a comment to offer encouragement or advice!  

I never thought I would be caring for a parent before reaching thirty.  I figured by the time my parents experienced health problems, my kids would be grown.  My father was recently diagnosed with stage four brain cancer.  He had a tumor removed from his brain but there is a two-thirds chance of the cancer returning.  He was perfectly healthy before the diagnosis.  Unfortunately, my parents have split up, so my mom doesn’t play a big role when it comes to my dad’s health.  My children are seven, five, and two months.  Caring for them is a full time job in itself, so add the time it takes to care for my dad and it seems like I’m working overtime!

He has to go to treatment for radiation Monday through Friday.  He has several doctors appointments throughout the month.  He has numerous medications that require strict instructions and need frequent refills.  Due to the location of the brain tumor, his speech center was severely damaged.  He cannot think of the words he wants to say which means he needs a translator to assist him at all of his appointments.  His eyesight was also damaged and he currently has no peripheral vision in the right vision field.  Obviously he cannot drive in this condition and needs to be driven to all appointments and errands.  Caring for my dad often feels like a burden to our family, but it is a responsibility that I made a commitment to.

If you are currently caring for your parents or grandparents while raising young children, I have some ideas that may help get you through it:

• Delegate your responsibilities.  You can’t expect to do everything yourself.  You will burn out and be too overwhelmed to think clearly and make important decisions.  Have other family members help you by taking your parent to appointments, watching your children, or whatever you may need at the time.  My dad stays with my oldest brother and his wife.  This is a huge help to our family because we don’t have the space for one more in our home.  Also, my children are noisy (whose aren’t?) and my dad needs rest and quiet.  If you don’t have family members in town, you can enlist the help of friends and neighbors.  Another option is to attend a support group for caregivers of cancer patients or whatever type of illness your parent has.
• Prepare for the unknown.  Often a simple surgery can cause complications and unexpected outcomes.  It is a good idea to make sure your parent or grandparent has a living will and power of attorney documents available to family members.  It was awkward speaking to my dad about his will, but I came to find out he didn’t have a will or an appointed power of attorney.  These days, you can create both documents online.  When you plan ahead and have these papers in place, it reduces stress and family conflict.  If your loved one is on life support, you need to know what their wishes are.  Do they want to be sustained on life support or would they prefer not to have any interventions?  [Editor's note: Amanda has posted helpful tips on this topic; check it out!]
• Be patient with your children.  This one is so difficult for me.  I was gone one day for eight hours rushing around to consultations and errands for my dad.  I can’t expect my five year old to sit still and be good the whole time.  I tried to remember to praise her for the times she was being good.  There will be crazy days where you will be out with your kids and parent, trying to care for both.  Try bringing a special bag full of new coloring books and toys for your children.  Use this bag only when taking grandpa or grandma to the doctor.  Talk to your children about what you expect before they go into the office: “We have to be quiet when the doctor is talking.”  Cut your kids some slack.  This is difficult on them too.
• Communicate.  Taking care of your ill parent is similar for caring for your children. You are responsible for their health.  Talk to their doctor just like you would at your own children’s appointments. You wouldn’t expect your child to ask his or her doctor what their treatment plan is.  Don’t expect your parent to know what to ask either.  Jump into the conversation and encourage other family members to ask questions.  We have a nurse in the family who gave me a helpful list of questions to ask the surgeon.  Write down the answers to those questions and share them with friends and family who need to know.
• Talk to your parent about doctor visits.  Did they understand what the doctor said?  Do they have any questions for you?  My dad has a difficult time understanding and piecing together information.  I have to repeat myself several times until he is no longer confused.  Try to be positive and encourage your parent during recovery.  Let them know you are always available to talk to.

I am continuing to learn how to manage everything daily.  I know that I need to rely on God’s grace to get me through each day.  What are some of the things you have learned while caring for your parents or grandparents? Do you have any tips or advice to share?

Did you clean and organize a lot more than usual while you were waiting for your little one to come? According to Pregnancy Weekly nesting is  “an uncontrollable urge to clean one’s house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world.” I like this definition because it is not limited to just cleaning the house.

With my first baby the closest I came to nesting was labeling everything on my desk at work as I prepared to pass off my workload and washing some onesies. With my second I have had incredible urges to have projects tied up, The Mom Crowd taken care of (thanks Dawn!), the house scrubbed, and all necessary baby items cleaned and ready to go.

Mamashealth.com says that while doing household chores is normal, “when a woman is nesting, she will probably carry out the tasks more meticulously and persistently than usual.” Yesterday I cleaned and shined the toaster oven inside and out. Something I would never normally do! My husband helped me clean and I gave him clear instructions on how the toilets should be cleaned and how the playroom should be picked up. Thankfully he puts up with me and cleaned accordingly.

I have heard my friends say that they have tried to rearrange huge pieces of furniture by themselves and hyper-cleaned the house when they were pregnant. I am curious, have you done anything crazy while nesting? I would love to hear your nesting stories in the comments!

- photo courtesy of zippaparazzo!