The Mom Crowd

On Wednesday, NBC premiered its newest reality series, The Baby Borrowers.  It’s about five teen couples participating in an “experiment” to care for a baby, toddler, pre-teen, teenager, and an elderly person, along with random pets.  They spend 3 days with each “borrowed” person, in a brand-new house on a cul-de-sac in a nondescript small American town.  The real parents are watching all of the action on a monitor next door, in case something serious happens.  There is also a professional nanny in each home, there to shadow the couples and make sure nothing goes too terribly awry.  The point is to learn about parenting first-hand.  There are no prizes or eliminations. 

When I first heard of this show, I felt skeptical about its overall premise, but I thought I would give it a look-see.  The first episode introduced us to the couples and showed them preparing for the arrival of their baby, as well as a glimpse at their first day with the child.

I’m not gonna lie.  Watching this was painful.  And I am capable of watching a lot of painful stuff, y’all (like this, and this, and this.  Who’s with me?)  I started off taking notes, but stopped after a few minutes.  From that point on, I was trying very hard not to gouge my eyes out with my pen. 

In the introduction, one of the actual “lending” mothers declared, “It’s important for teens to learn about the realities of parenting and be responsible for another little person.”  I couldn’t agree more.  My question is, is this the most effective way to teach them?  Furthermore, what is the purpose of this experiment: to prevent teenage pregnancies?  To dispell any notions kids might have that having a baby is a glamorous thing?  One of NBC’s promos shouted at me, “It’s not tv… it’s birth control!”  So I guess that’s my answer.  Never mind that the poor babies had no idea what was going on and had to live in some sterile house with nervous, inexperienced teenagers for three days.  No wonder they were crying nonstop.

We were able to get a glimpse as to why the couples were participating.  One pair, Morgan and Daton (name game: figure out which is the boy and girl!), said they were using the show as a test for their turbulent relationship.  Morgan said, “Our relationship is at stake here.”  Like we care.  They’re what, 17?  That said, Daton (the guy) was a doll.  Of all the teens, he appeared the most comfortable slipping on a parenting role, and came across very responsible, which was endearing for the young San Diego surfer boy.  Morgan, on the other hand, didn’t want to read her instruction manual at all while their little charge was napping.  Instead, she picked at her split ends and complained of boredom.

Another boy, Sean, was a natural with his baby.  But that didn’t interest him so much as the idea of using this experiment to convince his girlfriend Kelsey that she’s too young to be a mom.  That’s his mission on the show, and he was determined to burst her bubble.  Kelsey, in turn, was more upset by the fact that the baby preferred her boyfriend over her.  Many tears ensued.  That baby girl had some nerve!  

I was pretty creeped out by the narration throughout.  I felt like I was listening to storytime in my worst nightmare.  “Austin and Kelly are a preppy southern couple from Georgia with traditional values.”  Cut to them playing tennis in matching outfits.  Five minutes later, we see Kelly throw a tantrum at the idea of wearing a realistic pregnancy belly.  Austin didn’t display much sympathy for her, and I didn’t blame him.  She was living in a beautiful house with her boyfriend on a national tv show, presumably by choice, and she locks herself into their bathroom before the first day is even over.  The poor guy had to listen to her moan about how he didn’t respect her and that he hurt her and she’s worried that she can’t be with him anymore because he did that.  And this went on for another 10 minutes, complete with multiple bleeped-out expletives and her adamant refusal to play along with the rules, which included wearing that blasted fake belly.  Dear God in Heaven, is this how all teenagers are? 

If they’re not spoiled princesses, then they’re grouchy mean girls with dirty mouths, like Alicea, another participant.  As soon as her 7-month old baby started to fuss about eating (he was teething, poor guy), she threw down the spoon and said, “Beep this, you can starve.” (Or something to that effect.  Remember, I wasn’t writing anything down at this point.)  Hey Alicea, Mom and Dad are watching.  I can’t believe little Karson’s mom waited out the whole evening before coming over and trying to give Alicea some pointers.  Had it been me, I would have said, “Watch your mouth around my child, girl, and change your attitude right now!”  But the mom was surprisingly patient and gave helpful tips.  Alicea didn’t listen.  She said she didn’t take any BEEP from anyone and from that moment on, pouted in her bed.  Her boyfriend Cory was the only one doing anything for the child for the rest of the episode.  And Alicea blames Karson’s mom for that.

I think I’ve made my point.  To be fair, there was one couple, Jordan and Sasha, who seemed to really care about one another and have good heads on their shoulders.  If you like watching teenagers get a taste of “reality” and you enjoy seeing them pout, then this show is for you.  If I wanted to hear them whine this much, I’d go back to teaching middle schoolers, so it’s safe to say I won’t be watching again.

More reviews about the show:

from Variety

from the L.A. Times

Did you catch The Baby Borrowers?  What are your thoughts on reality tv as a tool for educating teens?  Should the “lending” families be criticized for putting their unwitting kids in that situation?  Like me, were you put off by the fact that the unmarried teen couples were sleeping together in their own master bedrooms?

Heather B. Armstrong from dooce.com was featured on Nightline on Monday night and the Today Show last week. The Dateline interviewer called her “The Queen of Mommy Bloggers.” She has inspired many moms to share their stories online. Of course I can’t make the mundane as interesting as she does, nor would I want her style of writing. (Okay maybe some of it, minus the cussing.)

The Nightline segment highlighted mom bloggers in a positive light and gave Heather time to explain herself. Unlike the Today Show segment where Kathie Lee made some quips about “mixed emotions” and then transitioned into the next segment on housewares. I was seriously disappointed in the missed opportunity to showcase the wonderful world of blogging on the Today Show. Someone should have told Kathie Lee what a blog was before the interview.

You must check out the Nightline segment here.

Here is the Today Show segment in case you missed it:

In case you aren’t already one of her one million fans and haven’t seen it yet, she wrote about her experience on the Today Show today.

While we are on the subject of Dooce. If are even remotely jealous of Heather’s success (and 40K a month revenue) check out A Mommy Story’s post titled, “How to Become a Popular Mommyblogger.” Here is my favorite part of her post. It is completely true!

The truth is, if you’re blogging to become popular/famous, you might want to reconsider your goals. After all, being a famous mommyblogger amounts to nearly nothing outside of our little electronic boxes and internet tubes. Go ask your hairstylist who Dooce is – chances are, she doesn’t know. Ask your parents, your neighbor, the mailman. They probably don’t know, either.

Maybe, just maybe, our family and friends and neighbors will start knowing what a blog is if the media keeps covering Heather and all the other amazing mom bloggers writing about poop and boogers.

Did you watch the Today Show and Dateline segments? What did you think?

I am still annoyed that Hoda Kotb said “Mommy Bloggers” in a funny voice and used air quotes in the introduction. Really?

Tara Parker-Pope reports today in the The New York Times about a study from Oxford and the University of Exeter in England that claims that a baby’s gender may be determined by the mother’s diet. According to the study those mothers who have a higher glucose level have a better chance of having a son. Generally, women who eat breakfast maintain a higher glucose level.

The data is based on a study of 740 first-time pregnant mothers in Britain who didn’t know the sex of their fetus. They provided records of their eating habits before and during the early stages of pregnancy, and researchers analyzed the data based on estimated calorie intake at the time of conception. Among women who ate the most, 56 percent had sons, compared with 45 percent among women who ate the least. As well as consuming more calories, women who had sons were more likely to have eaten a higher quantity and wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12. There was also a strong correlation between women eating breakfast cereals and producing sons.

The study does acknowledge that a baby’s gender is determined by the male sperm with an X or Y chromosome, but the condition of the mom may have an influence.

Frankly, I find this as silly as people telling me that I was having a boy, because I was carrying high. (I actually had a girl.) Although, maybe next time I am trying to conceive I won’t feel as guilty eating all my breakfast cheerios.

Do you believe that the report could be true? What other things have you heard to try when trying to conceive for a particular gender?

Happy Earth Day! In honor of Earth Day I have composed a few easy things you can do to contribute to helping the earth be a little safer for our kids.

1. Next time you go to the store try buying Tide for Cold Water. Using cold water on all laundry uses less energy–thus reducing your carbon footprint. It will also save you about $65 per year on your electric bill.

2. Reuse those baby food jars! They can be used to:

• transition toddlers and preschoolers to a big girl/boy glass at the dinner table

• serve ice cream, pudding, or mouse in them for great kiddie sized portions

• organize your “junk drawer” for things like rubber bands, thumb tacks, paper clips, small watch/toy batteries, stamps

• put paints in for your budding artist to dip their paintbrush into

• catch bugs in

3. Break out those cloth napkins that you registered for at your wedding! I don’t know about you but I registered for cloth napkins and I never used them. We just went through our LAST pack of paper napkins and we are now using cloth ones. Buying or using cloth napkins reduces the use of energy and resources to make the paper napkins. You can also reuse old dishcloths and make them into cloth napkins. If you want to get creative you can assign each person in your family a colored napkin. You could also have napkin holders with each persons name on it. When the napkins get yucky enough you can throw them in the wash. They don’t have to be washed after every use!

4. Consider purchasing a reusable water bottle for every member in the family. 38 billion water bottles are put into landfills every year! A reusable water bottle will help decrease that amount. Sigg and Kleen Kanteens are great choices that are environmentally friendly and recycleable! They also make them in great kiddie sizes.

5. Turn your heat/ac up/down 1 degree. One degree won’t be that noticable and it will also reduce your energy bills and carbon footprint!

6. Arrange a Toy Swap with your other mommy friends. Toy Swaps help rid your house of clutter toys your kids have lost interest in and provide “new” toys for the kiddos to play with. It doesn’t necessarily cut down on toy clutter but it does help reduce waste from buying new toys. With 3 kids I have toys coming out of my ears. Sometimes the plastic toys make me feel like I’m going insane. I have a pile in the basement of toys that we have grown out of or have lost interest in and I am already planning on making a stop at good will or arranging a toy swap of my own!

I recently bought a book that just came out called Healthy Child, Healthy World: Creating A Cleaner, Greener, Safer Home. It is a book with tons of information about making your home nontoxic, recipes for air freshener, bubble bath and pet flea repellents, green gardening, how to avoid those scary toy recalls and how to choose safer art supplies, smart choices for remodeling your home and even a shopper’s guide for quality green products, brands, stores and websites. I haven’t read it all the way through but I have read most of it and have been impressed with the helpful information in the book. One thing I appreciate about the book is that each chapter covers the impacts of our choices on the environment. I know that the idea of being green and changing family patterns and habits can be overwhelming but the book emphasizes that any choice to go greener is a step in the right direction. I think it would be impossible to overhaul everything in our lives all at once. I know in our family we are taking one step at a time and it still feels like we are doing so little. I am trusting that my small contribution combined with others contributions will help make a big impact on making the world a better place for my kids and grandkids.

Being green is definitely becoming more popular and easy to do. What kinds of green things do you do?

As I was passing time at the airport bookstore an article on the cover of USA Today caught my eye. The headline reads, “Day care’s new frontier: Your baby at your desk.” The article by Stephanie Armour explains how some companies are allowing parents to bring their infant up to 6 or 9 months in age to work with them. Most of the referenced companies are desk jobs. A company in Austin called T3 even gives parents their own private office when they start bringing in their baby with them. The companies and their employees have concerns about productivity, liability issues, health concerns, and what is best for the baby.

If my old job as a Human Resources Specialist allowed me to bring my baby with me to my desk, I may have been tempted to stay, but I wouldn’t have done it. I don’t know if I could have handled the demands of a boss, emails, managers on the phone, co-workers, my growing inbox, and on top of all that my baby too! Some moms are able to handle all that, but not me. Also, I know some moms have to work and it would be a huge blessing to have their little one beside them all day. Although there are some moms who definitely enjoy the break they get from their baby when they are at work.

I would have had some health concerns about bringing my child in the office. I think our building was cleaned maybe twice a year. Our building was old and had bad circulation and many employees got sick often. I don’t know if I would have brought Ace into that environment with co-workers that came into the office clearly too sick to work. The USA Today articles cites one company where bringing in babies would not work in their office because of the open floor plan. My old job where each person gets their own corner of a large square cubicle would not have suited a pack-n-play and swing. We had so many folders and drawers I would have been afraid of a stack of files falling on my baby!

Productivity specialists are raising eyebrows at the practice, saying it could amount to favoritism for parents and rankle co-workers who don’t want to put up with a baby gurgling — or worse — in the next cubicle.

As a Human Resources major I can see both the benefit of retaining great employees and the downsides of jealous co-workers and annoyances. I think for babies in the office to work the culture of the company has to be the right setting. Some clients may be put off by the mom in the meeting wearing a Baby Bjorn and standing while everyone else is seated at the conference table. I think if I were that mom all I would be thinking is “Don’t cry! Don’t cry!” and have a hard time paying attention to the meeting. I also believe that the baby would be a total distraction to everyone else. A baby is a lot more interesting than any power point slide show.

Co-workers may be jealous because of favoritism, but the opposite may be true. Parents with little ones at work may be discriminated against or looked over for promotions, because “they can’t handle it.” The article also shares how fathers have taken the opportunity to bring their little one to work with them. I wonder if the mothers would haven even more discrimination than the fathers with babies. The parents may feel pressure to produce more to keep up with other employees. I think I would have an issue with a parent that isn’t keeping up their end of a project. Of course, I would have grace for them, but deep down it would totally annoy me. The article mentions that parents are paid for their time when they are tending to their little one, but where do you draw the line? Would they have a clock in and clock out system on their computer? Will a parent have to work 10 or 11-hour days to ensure that they got their 8 hours of work done? It seems logistically difficult, but could work for company cultures that are open to flexible schedules and have understanding employees.

Many companies balk at the concept of babies at work full time. At Ernst & Young accounting firm, parents can get subsidized, backup child care in their homes.

Some companies offer alternatives to bringing your baby to work such as subsidizing the cost of childcare in the home. I had a co-worker that had a nanny come everyday to her house. I know she felt better about herself for working knowing her children were home. Another alternative is on-site child care. You can get your work done while someone watches your child. You are within a few minutes walk if you have some time to spend with them. GDC Marketing and Communication in San Antonio, TX is a great example of how a small company with on site child care, and a welcoming corporate culture can all work together to maintain a work-family life balance.

If my baby were at work with me I would get nothing done. Even now I wait to get my blogging done at night when Ace doesn’t need me because she fell over and banged her head again.

What are your thoughts about the article? If you could bring your baby to work with you would you? If you don’t work outside the house anymore what would it look like if you brought your baby with you to work?

For more thoughts about the USA Today’s article check out Laura Vanderkam post in the Huffington Post.