The Mom Crowd

Amelia,

I need mom advice… How do you know if your breast milk is not working for the baby? My baby is totally having gas problems. The Dr. wants to put him on Prevacid. He had a ultrasound yesterday to check for reflux, but it came back fine. He gained almost another pound …10.15 now.

He has this terrible cry and painful look in his face like he needs to pass gas several times through out the day. It’s hit and miss when he gets fussy. I tried gripe water but it is not helping.

My husband’s grandma thinks it’s my milk. She keeps telling me my milk isn’t rich enough or something is wrong with it. If that is true, I will be totally sad. I guess I dont want to think that it could be it…I’m having a hard time with grandma being here. I’m a total emotional roller coaster. I love her, BUT she is driving me nutzzzzzz. She has toooo much to say and tooo much advice and talks too loud….

I would like your opinion about the breast milk. Not sure what to do. Your advice is needed my friend.

My response:

First let me start off by saying that you are doing a great job as a mamma! I’m glad the reflux ultrasound came back negative.

It sounds like hubby’s grandma has some old information. She is telling you things she heard back in her time of breastfeeding. Your milk is the best thing for your baby and the fact that he has gained over 2 pounds since his birth a month ago is a great sign! His pain might be worse if he were on formula instead of your milk, which is more easily digested.

I can understand how difficult it can be when your baby is crying as if he is in pain. It is hard for a mother to see her child in pain and as moms we try to do what we can to minimize our children’s pain. Try to remember that his digestive tract is young and immature and that he will eventually grow out of it.

There are a few things you can do in the meantime. Check your diet and make sure you aren’t eating a lot of the common foods that are known to bother babies like dairy, broccoli, garlic, onions, and chocolate. Sometimes babies are sensitive to what a mother eats. You can eliminate one kind of food at a time and see if there is an improvement in his gassiness/fussiness.

Also, you could try feeding the baby from only one side. Some babies become less gassy and fussy when they eat from one side at a time. Research has shown this to be true for some babies. When babies eat from one side they get more hindmilk and that seems to improve the problem. If your baby has bowel movements that are green and frothy it can be a sign of hindmilk/foremilk imbalance. When mothers produce large amounts of milk sometimes the baby gets full on too much foremilk and don’t get enough hindmilk. One way to remedy that, especially when feeding from both sides, is to pump a little or manually extract some milk from the first side before the baby eats to make sure the baby gets more hindmilk. Also feeding from one side per feeding can help too.

Having family to help after you have a baby can be wonderful but it can be difficult too. As hard as it may be, I would encourage you to tell grandma, “Thanks for your input, but I don’t think my milk is the problem. The doctor doesn’t either and I would appreciate it if we could agree to disagree and not talk about it anymore.” Or something like that. You could also ask your husband to talk to grandma and have him tell her that her negative comments are hurting your feelings and that it would be better for her to say positive things about your decision to nurse your baby. It might be better coming from him since it is his grandma. It sounds like she is a direct person, and often times direct people need to be spoken to directly.

Breastfeeding is such an intimate experience and it is common for mammas to be very vulnerable to negative comments. It is so important for you to have others around that support your decision to breastfeed. Hang in there and try to ignore grandma’s negativity.

Starting to breastfeed your baby can be the most frustrating and difficult two to three weeks of your life. I personally found it more painful than childbirth. Here are seven things that helped me get through those first few weeks.

1. Have a vision.

When I first started to nurse I had a lot of pain and difficulty breastfeeding my daughter, Ace. I talked about what I was feeling with a friend who was just finishing her first year breastfeeding her baby. She painted a picture for me about how she found joy in nursing, how easy feeding her son had become, and how she loved the connection that she had with her son. At the time I thought she was nuts, but I clung to that picture of the future. I had hope that nursing was going to get easier.

2. Knowledge is power.

Breastfeeding is easier when you know the biology of your body and your baby. Also, knowing how to hold your baby and the different holding positions will help you and your baby learn this new skill faster. Go to a breastfeeding class! This was by far the most informative class that I took in preparation for my new baby. In addition, don’t leave the hospital before you meet with a lactation consultant. I had learned how to hold the baby in class, but having just given birth I was having difficulty remembering what they taught me. I was thankful for the reminders. Finally, read books about breastfeeding, search websites and learn as much as you can!

3. Remember the benefits.

During the first few weeks of nursing I asked my husband to make a giant poster of all the benefits of breastfeeding, so I could read them while I was enduring the pain. I would have him recite all the benefits to me again and again. I would even list them in my head. Remembering the advantages of breastfeeding will help you stay motivated.

A few benefits of breastfeeding are:
- Your immunities and antibodies are passed to the baby making them less likely to become sick
- Saves you money
- Less likely to be a SIDS victim
- A greater bond with your baby

For more information about the benefits of breastfeeding check out the La Leche League and Breastfeeding.com.

4. It is a sacrifice.

Know that breastfeeding is a sacrifice. Yes, you will have to watch what you eat. Yes, you will have to feed almost every hour to three hours during the day. Yes, you might have a uni-boob when wearing certain nursing bras. Yes, you will have to juggle feeding your baby in public places or going home to feed. But in the end, the sacrifice and hassle is all worth it.

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