The Mom Crowd

Last Friday I shared my grocery shopping philosophy and I wanted to know how you shopped and budgeted for groceries. We had a great discussion in the comments.

Amelia asked if everyone includes household items like cleaning supplies and diapers in your grocery budget.  Most everyone that commented does include all household items in the grocery budget. There was also a discussion on whether or not gas should be included. I like to keep our gas separate, so I can track my spending better.

Heidi asked if anyone had any experience using a Food Saver (a vacuum sealing kit). Trina thinks that as long as you put the effort behind it and remember what you have in the freezer then they really do save you money.

How much should you spend on groceries?

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Now that I am a stay-at-home-mom and I don’t generate a paycheck anymore, I feel like the way I contribute financially to my family is by managing the budget. The biggest budget items that I have control over is our Grocery and Dining spending.

Before I go to the grocery store I create a list, because I will completely forget it all while I am constantly trying to keep my toddler entertained and seated in the cart. To make my grocery list I first check the sale ads online. Then from there I think up 4 to 5 meals based on what is on sale, what we already have on hand, and what we feel like eating. Then I make sure that any ingredients I need are on the list.

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When I had my daughter I knew I would be traveling to the Philippines 7 months later and breastfeeding would be the easiest way to travel with her. So in those first few months I had to become proficient at breastfeeding in public places, because I didn’t know where I would be when I had to nurse Annabelle.

I am an incredibly modest person and I didn’t necessarily want to nurse in front of other men on a mission trip, but I had to learn how to nurse modestly. After the research I had done, I was surprised to find breastfeeding really common in the Philippines and some women would nurse while sitting in the church sanctuary. I wasn’t quite that brave.

Here is what I learned about nursing in public in the 14 months I nursed my daughter.

1. Be Confident. If you aren’t ashamed, then every one else will pick up on that vibe and they won’t be weirded out either. Besides, there is nothing to be ashamed about anyway!  I never made a big deal about it and I tried to be as discreet as possible.

2. Wear the right clothes. I never wanted to show my tummy gleaming with silvery lines on my stomach, so I would strategically wear clothes that I wouldn’t have to pull up my shirt. I would often wear a nursing bra or a nursing camisole under a shirt I could button down or had a large V-neck. Or I would wear a nursing camisole under a t-shirt and I could lift up the t-shirt without exposing my belly.

3. Use a nursing cover. I don’t think I ever nursed in public without one. I always felt confident that I was covered up and if my boob was out no one could see it. I used a cover that had a wire on top that bent to create a u-shape that I could look down into and make sure that my baby was doing alright. I bought mine here, but you can also buy some beautiful ones at Tot-to-Go.

4. Find a chair in a nursing room, restroom, or a changing room while traveling around town. I would sometimes plan my outings around Babies R Us, because they have a comfortable nursing room with a rocking chair. No one ever noticed that I wouldn’t buy anything. I would also scope out and make mental notes of restrooms that had a chair or couch in the ladies room. Sometimes I would just find an out of the way bench or nursed in the car. I think the more I nursed the more bold I became about where I nursed.

5. Practice! It took me a few times to practice holding my baby, putting the nursing cover on, and getting my boob out of my clothes. I would practice at parties or at homes with men around, so I could become more comfortable with it. I remember practicing at Ikea and it was one of the first times I had used my cover and I flashed my boob to Ikea somehow in the process.  I don’t think anyone cared.

Here is a very blurry photo of me nursing on a Jeepney…

…with about 20 other people on board. I think this is the weirdest place I ever nursed.

Need more information? Check out this awesome video by Susanne Carvin. I watched it when I first started nursing and I found it really helpful!

Did you (do you) nurse in public? Are you shy about it or was it not a big deal? Where is the weirdest place you ever nursed?

I had a friend recently email me asking what I thought about the different co-sleepers available and if I used one.  Then I thought it might make a good post!  Even if you are having your first, second, or third baby you might be on the hunt for a new or alternative sleeping arrangement rather than having the baby sleep in a different room from yourself.  Regardless of your parenting philosophy, many parents find that having baby nearby, sharing their bed, or right next to them is easier for night time feedings and those middle of the night diaper changes.Co-sleepers are similar to pack and plays in the way the look but they attach to the bed, giving the baby a special space of his/her own.  The co-sleeper is level with the bed which allows easy access for the mother or father to scoop up the baby when he/she is ready to eat, needs a diaper change, or just needs some attention.   

The Arms Reach Co-Sleeper has become rather popular for moms who are planning on breastfeeding and want easy access to their babies at night.  I asked a friend who has the Mini Co Sleeper and she raved about it. Her husband is a heavy sleeper and she didn’t feel comfortable having the baby in bed with them while he tossed and turned at night.  She also knew that she would sleep more comfortably if she had the freedom to move and change positions without worrying about waking up the baby.  She mentioned that the co sleeper was also helpful right after the baby was born because she had a c-section and it allowed her to only have to sit up in bed to feed the baby rather than have to get up and go across the room or into another room to get her baby before feeding him.  She said it was very helpful for her recovery and healing process.  Not only that, but it also helps her get through the whole feeding, diaper changing ritual faster which results in her getting a little more sleep.  And every mom with a newborn is thankful for as much sleep as possible! The only drawback she said about the co-sleeper is that in order to get out of bed you have to either get out on the side the co-sleeper isn’t attached to or slide down past it and then get out of bed.  She likes the mini co-sleeper because it takes up less room and you don’t have to go as far down to slide out of bed.   The Arms Reach co-sleepers are portable and break down similarly to a pack and play which make them appealing for travel as well. And some take up less room when broken down.      

Some parents like the feeling of closeness created by having the baby in bed with them. An alternative to bedside co-sleepers is something called a Snuggle Nest.  A Snuggle Nest creates a place for the baby in your bed and provides some boundaries so pillows or blankets don’t get too close to the baby’s face. I have another friend who used this with one of her babies and she loves it. She likes being able to hear the baby breathe at night.   She used it her second baby until he started rolling around a lot and getting out of his swaddle.  It became too hard for him to stay in the little nest. She is also using it for her third baby and still loves it.  At night when the baby wakes up to nurse she slides her down from the Snuggle Nest and nurses the baby and then slides her back up after she is done.  It makes it easy to doze while the baby is nursing and easier for her to go back to sleep since she didn’t have to get out of bed.  The other plus my friend mentioned to me is that since the baby is so close by she can listen for whether or not the baby is due for a diaper change.        

We have always had our babies in the room with us for the first several months–our first had the shortest stay in our room–only about 31/2 months.  He slept in a pack and play near our bed.  Our second and third slept in bed with us until they were 4 months old and then moved into a bed (still in our room) until they were close to a year old.  One was moved to a pack and play, the other to a crib.  I liked not having to get up and go to another room to get them for feedings and I liked that they were nearby in case I needed or wanted to check on them at night.  I had contemplated getting a co-sleeper with our thrid but decided to see if I still wanted on after he was born.  I thought about borrowing one from someone, but I didn’t know anyone at the time who had one laying around.  We just did what worked for us as a family. Although I enjoyed the babies sleeping with us or near us, I was ecstatic when I finally had my own space and room back. It was so nice to be able to read in bed and not worry about making any other noises that might wake up the baby–if you know what I mean .

Where did your baby sleep after he/she was born? What worked for your family? What didn’t work?

I have been surveying a lot of my friends about what they feed their kids. I needed ideas on what to feed my 17 month old daughter and I wanted to know how my daughter’s diet compared with her peers. Turns out that that my daughter is normal. Since Annabelle has moved on from mashed baby food she has become picky, moody, and is eating less.

My pediatrician warned me that my baby’s appetite will decrease, because she isn’t growing as fast. She also told me that she won’t eat when she isn’t hungry. It makes sense, but sometimes you need a reminder.

My friends confirmed that being picky is perfectly normal at this age. It is frustrating when one day they love strawberries only to push them away the next day. My friend Myra wrote a phenomenal guest blog post here about her son’s picky eating habits. I think about that post often. Annabelle isn’t that picky, but I now understand better where Myra is coming from. She wrote about being judged in restaurants when she fed her son a PB&J. Now I feed Annabelle whatever she will eat, just to keep her in her seat and not to make a disturbance when we eat out. At home I try to be more strict and let her pout a little until she does calm down and eat whatever I placed on her tray.

I did get a few suggestions from my friends about food ideas. My friend Sarah made me feel better about feeding my child canned vegetables. They are soft and ready to go. Another friend only gets her daughter to eat protein once a day.

I could beat myself up about what my daughter eats, but I decided not to. In the last three days she has had cheese pizza, french fries, and pancakes. Not the food of champions. I used to pride myself in making homemade baby food and now I cheer if my daughter eats her chicken nuggets. Ensuring that my daughter actually eats the nutrition she needs is stressful, but it all comes along with the territory of parenting an increasingly independent toddler.

What do you feed your toddler? Do you have a picky eater? Do you find feeding your toddler stressful?