The Mom Crowd

Finding foods for my kids to eat can sometimes be difficult. My son is an incredibly picky eater (the WORST!), and my daughter is not much of an explorer in the food department either. I thought it’d be fun to share with you the staples of my kids’ diets and ask you what foods your kids can’t live without.

Here are the foods that we can’t run out of:

• cheerios
• applesauce
• bananas
• eggs (scrambled)
• yogurt
• refried beans
• rice
• hot dogs
• sweet potatoes & white potatoes (mashed)
• chicken nuggets
• frozen waffles
• sandwich fixings (PB &J, or turkey & cheese)
• canned carrots
• canned chicken
• vegetable juice (Darah only…Connor will only drink milk and water)
• and of course…lots and lots of milk!

What’s in your pantry?

Last week, Darah had her tonsils removed and her third set of tubes placed in her ears. Darah has had 12 surgeries in her 3 1/2 years of life and Connor’s had a same day procedure already as well (tubes placed in his ears). The picture to the left is of Darah before her open heart surgery at three months old. I am aware that not everyone is as “experienced” as we are when it comes to surgery for their child and want to share what surgery days are like for those of you who may be approaching your first surgery with your child. Every procedure, hospital, doctor, nurse, and child are so different. It’s hard to write up a one-size-fits-all post on what you can expect, but some things are pretty standard regardless of what your child is having done, and the emotional impact is pretty strong no matter how major or minor your child’s surgery is going to be!

Pre-Op (Before the surgery)

Before some procedures, doctors will want to get bloodwork done on your child. Ask for numbing cream if it’s available. This is a cream that acts as a local anesthetic and will help decrease some of the pain of the actual needle stick.

Tour the hospital with your child. Knowing where everything is prior to surgery day can help to alleviate some of the anxiety of the day. Most hospitals (if not all) are very prepared to show families where everything is prior to the surgery. It can also help with your child’s nerves if they see the hospital before the day of the surgery.

Visit the hospital’s website. If your child’s surgery is being performed in a children’s hospital, a lot of times their websites have great resources, virtual tours, and coloring sheets for your child. Take advantage of their website!

Surgery Day: Before the surgery

You will probably be asked to arrive 2-3 hours before the actual procedure. This is to register your child in the computer system, talk to the surgeon, nurse, and anesthesiologist about last minute questions. They will also check your child’s basic vitals during this time. Be prepared, surgeries often start later than usual.

Leave earrings, all jewelry, and valuables at home. If your child’s ears were recently pierced, discuss this with your doctor prior to surgery day.

If your child is anxious or irritable before the procedure, ask the anesthesiologist for a “cocktail.” Some doctors will call is “silly juice.” Basically, it’s a light sedative that will very much calm your child.

If your child needs an i.v. for the surgery, ask if that can be done after your child is already asleep. Sometimes the doctors will put the child to sleep in the operating room using a mask and then start the i.v.

While you’re waiting in the holding room before the surgery, ask your nurse if they have a playroom or any toys or books your child can play with while you are waiting. We ALWAYS bring our portable DVD player with us for Darah to watch movies on during the wait.

Do not be afraid to ask your doctors and nurses any questions you have. I also usually tell the staff something personal about Darah or our family so they go into the operating room remembering that this is somebody’s most treasured possession, and not “just another surgery.” This last surgery, I told the anesthesiologist a quick story about Darah’s beaten up Lovey she had with her. After the surgery, the recovery nurse said she heard the story about poor loved Lovey. This made me feel more comfortable in trusting them with my daughter.

When it is time to say goodbye, remain positive and reassuring. Remember, no matter how young or old your child is, they are sure to have some anxiety about being in a new place with new people and it is important to help them to feel ok with everything that is happening.

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Last week, The Mom Crowd reader, Sharon M. commented on my article, “Making the Most Out of PlayTime with Your Baby.” Here’s what she wrote:

“What do you do when your toddler/ preschooler goes through the “obsession” phase? Like my son, for instance, has been on a musical instrument kick for the past several weeks and that’s ALL HE WANTS TO DO. The water bottle is his bassoon, the electric heaters are baritones and tubas, and one of our cords for our computer has become the french horn. Now I love music, and instruments, but all the time? No thank you! How do you divert him to play something else? How long will this last? I am tired of playing musical instruments!!!”

My first response is, “How wonderful!” You have a very imaginative child and I credit your parenting for helping to build that amazing creativity. You get a gold star in parenting from me! My second response is, “This too shall pass.” As a mother of a preschooler, you already know how children’s phases fly by way too fast, however when you’re in the middle of it, it can feel like an eternity! My third response is, “You are not alone!” I have watched countless toddlers preschoolers obsess on trains, G.I. Joe action figures, and ruby red slippers to name a few!

All of the research I have found suggests that toddler obsessions are very normal and very healthy. I found this mom of a child obsessed with trains who asks a very similar question to yours regarding her son’s obsession. The responses were overwhelmingly supportive to her son’s obsession with trains and emphasized how “normal” her son’s obsession is. I found this horse-maniac who needs a new word for OBSESSION! I also found this sticker-devotee, this box-fanatic, this button-pusher, and this bug-lover.

While it’s very normal for your child to become passionate over something, variety in your child’s play is also very important.

• You can work on teaching your son turn-taking to encourage more variety in his play. You can tell him, “Mommy really wants to play trains. Let’s play trains for 5 minutes and then you can choose what we play after we’re done.” Set a timer so he knows that once it beeps, he gets to choose the next activity.
• Encourage variety within his obsession. If all he wants to play is musical instruments, encourage him to play with musical instruments in different ways. He can color musical instruments (I found this handy site that has musical coloring pages for free), you can have him push his toy cars across the floor to the speed of the music playing, you can have him explore his dramatic play by using facial expressions and body movements that imitate the music playing, and you can get him new books that talk about new instruments he may not know. Even if he doesn’t want to leave the music world to play with other things, you can bring other things into his music world!
• Mix up his play by introducing new instruments to him. I couldn’t help but notice that he seems especially fond of brass instruments. If he is obsessing on brass instruments in particular, maybe working on expanding from brass to percussion or strings. While you’re not completely leaving the music world, you’re at least expanding from tubas and baritones!
• Arrange play dates for your son with children his age. Even if your son can get his friend as excited about music as he is, at least you will get a break from having to play it with him for a short time. Chances are the other child will have their own obsession, and it may rub off on your son, too!

I have said all that to say, encourage that passion and love for music as much as you can. Research is very clear on the power music has on children’s brain development, especially in the first six years of life. I come from a very musical family and play the piano, flute, and am learning the guitar. I hope my children have a passion for music and creative minds like your son.

Alright readers, the microphone is yours! What are your toddlers and preschoolers obsessed with? How long did the phases last? Any advise for dear Sharon who’s tired of playing musical instruments?

Heidi has asked The Mom Crowd readers a question about preschools. Can you offer any help in regards to the cost of preschools? If you are in the San Antonio can you offer reviews of any of the schools in question?

Heidi’s question:

“I’m on the prowl for researching preschools in my area (1604 & O’Connor). I’ve inquired at Northern Hills (my top choice so far), Community Bible Church, Trinity Christian Academy, and San Antonio Christian Academy.

With registration beginning in 5 weeks at certain schools, I’m feeling overwhelmed because I’ve yet to visit a single site. Some locations are more costly than others, and makes me wonder if it’s worth it to pay the extra money.

Mothers, please help! Any recommendations or reviews would help me tremendously and save me tons of time and energy.”

Please share your responses in the comments. Thanks!

Preschool Bag of Link Goodies at Babycenter.com:
Intro to preschool
Signs of a good preschool
Preschool: How much will it cost?
How to find a good preschool

I have felt so much pressure to potty train my daughter. I will be honest. There is a big part of me that has wondered why it’s so important to potty train early. Diapers, in my opinion, are much easier than having to stop everything to take your child to the bathroom and potty training is just one more factor, thrown in there with nap time and meal time, in strategically planning your outings. We’re busy, and in my free time with my daughter, teaching her shapes, colors, and how to count seem much more important than learning to pee-pee in the potty. While I would rather work on other developmental goals, I do know that it is important (and cheaper) for Darah to be potty trained. Potty training brings about more independence for her.

Recently, at the start of 2008, I determined that 2008 was the year Darah was going to be potty trained. I have read “Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day,” and gone to countless sites about potty training. I have taken the “Is your child ready?” quizzes and determined that she is. I have tried a few days of having her run around without bottoms for a day and taken her every 10 minutes to the potty. I have made the sticker chart, decorated the bathroom, charted her elimination pattern (when she pees and poops) and I have incorporated potty time in her schedule at school with her teachers. I’ve come to the place though where I am now slowing down!

So, like in all mountains I have climbed, I have decided to focus on one step at a time. We are at the place where we are “pre-potty training” Darah. By pre-potty training, I mean that I am training her to go through the whole routine of potty time, without the actual elimination in the toilet.

Preparing your child for potty training:

• Desensitize your child to the bathroom. The bathroom is unlike most rooms in the house, so allow your child in there with you frequently.
• Whenever you go, take your child. Celebrate when YOU go to the bathroom and allow your child to join in that celebration.
• Empty your child’s poopy diaper in the toilet. Explain to your child that his or her poo poo belongs in the toilet and flush it together.
• Change all diapers in the bathroom.
• Teach your child what the potty time routine looks like, including: lifting up the toilet lid cover, pulling down your pants, sitting on the toilet for a while, wiping, flushing, pulling back up your pants, washing your hands, and closing the bathroom door when you’re finished. If your child can follow this whole routine, once you start the elimination training, half the battle is already won!
• Teach the concept of “wet and dry” to your child. When their diaper is wet, let them touch it and explain that it’s wet (washing their hands right after, of course.) When their diaper is dry, let them feel the dryness and explain to them that they are dry.
• Don’t force your child to explore the bathroom. You do not want your child to become aversive to the bathroom, or the toilet.
• Always have a good attitude about potty training. Just like all developmental milestones, potty training is a process that will not be without accidents. When a child is learning to walk, parents don’t scold him when he falls down, they encourage him to get back up and try again. Your child will pick up on your frustration with potty training and will decide not to cooperate, and that my friend will be a very tough battle!

With the huge help of Darah’s teachers at school, Darah has learned the potty time routine. She independently pulls down her pants, sits on the toilet, wipes, flushes, and washes her hands. She has not begun eliminating in the toilet yet, except for a few random times we’ve caught her! However, I feel that every day we go through the potty routine with her, we are getting closer and closer to once and for all toss the diapers, put on the Little Mermaid big girl panties, and go for it!

What’s next?

My plan right now is to continue having “potty time” several times a day, and hopefully we will “catch” her when she needs to go more frequently and celebrate those moments. I think that with Darah, we are going to probably need to schedule train her after next. By schedule training, I mean that we figure out the times that she needs to potty during the day and we take her to the bathroom to do her thing. Shortly after she is schedule trained, I am hopeful she will then spontaneously start asking to use the toilet at appropriate times. I will then write a post here on The Mom Crowd and give you all my insider info on the next steps!

Dr Phil’s Potty Training Method

Potty training a child with special needs

What is your experience with potty training? Did/Do you feel the same pressure I’ve felt about potty training? Do you think early or late potty training is better? Any good info, books, or sites to share? Let’s talk POTTY!!