The Mom Crowd

If you feel sad, depressed, or just not quite right after having a baby, trust me you are not alone. I experienced depression after both of my children were born. After Darah’s birth, I don’t think I experienced anything more than baby blues. I was having a hard time with her diagnosis, but surprisingly had my head on my shoulders! After Connor’s birth however, the depression I experienced was much more intense than after Darah’s birth. My postpartum depression after Connor’s birth came in the form of extreme anxiety and crying sessions. I eventually sought guidance from my doctor because I was having so much anxiety and was worrying about so many things!

At my six week check up, my doctor and I agreed that I should try an antidepressant. He started me on a medication which I took for about a month; I was not nursing anymore at this point. I didn’t like the side effects of the medication I was on, so I stopped and started researching other ways I could help myself. I talked about my emotions nonstop to my close friends and husband. I tried taking naps while my husband watched the baby, and discovered the therapeutic value of running. Once I sensed another crying session coming on, I would put on my headphones, running shoes and go. I got up to running three miles! Not bad for someone who has never liked running! After I was about three or four months postpartum, I started feeling more like my old self again and had better control over my anxiety and emotions.

The National Women’s Health Center has a great overview of postpartum depression describing signs, symptoms, and guidance for women experiencing depression within the first year after childbirth. There are three levels of postpartum depression. Baby blues are the most common and usually involve sadness and crying. Baby blues are usually very short, lasting no more than a week after delivery. Postpartum depression can begin at any time during the first year after delivery and is more intense than baby blues. Postpartum psychosis is another type of postpartum depression and is very rare. Postpartum psychosis involves hallucinations, obsessive thoughts, and rapid mood swings which need the immediate attention from a physician.

If you are experiencing depression after your baby is born, it is very important that you discuss this with your doctor or midwife. Your doctor or midwife will be able to give you the specific help and support that you need.

Here are some other helpful tips from The National Women’s Health Information Center:

• Try to get as much rest as you can. Try to nap when the baby naps.
• Stop putting pressure on yourself to do everything. Do as much as you can and leave the rest!
• Ask for help with household chores and nighttime feedings. Ask your husband or partner to bring the baby to you so you can breastfeed. If you can, have a friend, family member, or professional support person help you in the home for part of the day.
• Talk to your husband, partner, family, and friends about how you are feeling.
  Do not spend a lot of time alone. Get dressed and leave the house. Run an errand or take a short walk.
• Spend time alone with your husband or partner.
• Talk with other mothers, so you can learn from their experiences.
• Join a support group for women with depression. Call a local hotline or look in your telephone book for information and services.
• Don’t make any major life changes during pregnancy. Major changes can cause unneeded stress. Sometimes big changes cannot be avoided. When that happens, try to arrange support and help in your new situation ahead of time.

Did you experience any level of depression after your baby was born? What helped you overcome your depression?

On October 12th makers of cough and cold medicines pulled their drugs targeted for babies and toddlers from store shelves. Then the following Friday an advisory panel for the Food and Drug Administration voted to ban over-the-counter cold products targeted for children under six years old. The votes to ban the over-the-counter products for 2 years of age and younger was 21-1, while the vote to ban over-the-counter products for ages 2-5 years of age was 13-9. So we most likely won’t see a ban for drugs for children over the age of 2, because the agency is likely to ignore such a close vote according the New York Times.

The ban is suggested, because all 11 studies reviewed by the panel report that the medicines don’t work and in some rare cases cause serious harm. Also, the drugs were only tested on adults and assumed to be safe in children. Researchers have since found that some medicines react differently in children than adults.

A ban might not even take place at all. Dr. John Jenkins, director of the FDA’s office of new drugs, in an Associated Press article says, “If the agency chose to restrict use in children 6 and under, that won’t necessarily lead to a ban on the products. It might lead to labeling that says ‘do not use.’”

Also a ban may not happen for a while, because of the red tape of the FDA and the manufacturers will fight the ban according to the New York Times.

The panel’s patient and family representative, Amy Celento of Nutley, N.J. in an AP article said that she fears that parents will administer adult products to their children because they work for them or feel they work for them.

In the same AP article, “the panel also recommended drug makers provide standardized droppers with their liquid cough and cold medicines. Experts had told the panel the sometimes hard-to-use dosing devices contribute to parents unwittingly overdosing their children.” I agree! It takes me about five tries to get the medicine in the dropper right at .4 or .8. Better droppers would be nice!

There is a lot of talk in the media about these medicines and the FDA is taking no action right now. The advisory panel has only made suggestions to the FDA.

If the reports claim that the medicines don’t work, then a ban is not a loss to parents. Although, I know one parent who claims the medicines work for her four children. My daughter is only five months old, so I wouldn’t consider cough and cold medicine right now. She had her first cold last week and I have given her some children’s Tylenol when she had a fever and on the nights she was extremely uncomfortable. I have also made sure to feed her often, so she gets lots of liquids to break up the mucus. If needed, we also use a warm humidifier during the night.

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Amelia,

I need mom advice… How do you know if your breast milk is not working for the baby? My baby is totally having gas problems. The Dr. wants to put him on Prevacid. He had a ultrasound yesterday to check for reflux, but it came back fine. He gained almost another pound …10.15 now.

He has this terrible cry and painful look in his face like he needs to pass gas several times through out the day. It’s hit and miss when he gets fussy. I tried gripe water but it is not helping.

My husband’s grandma thinks it’s my milk. She keeps telling me my milk isn’t rich enough or something is wrong with it. If that is true, I will be totally sad. I guess I dont want to think that it could be it…I’m having a hard time with grandma being here. I’m a total emotional roller coaster. I love her, BUT she is driving me nutzzzzzz. She has toooo much to say and tooo much advice and talks too loud….

I would like your opinion about the breast milk. Not sure what to do. Your advice is needed my friend.

My response:

First let me start off by saying that you are doing a great job as a mamma! I’m glad the reflux ultrasound came back negative.

It sounds like hubby’s grandma has some old information. She is telling you things she heard back in her time of breastfeeding. Your milk is the best thing for your baby and the fact that he has gained over 2 pounds since his birth a month ago is a great sign! His pain might be worse if he were on formula instead of your milk, which is more easily digested.

I can understand how difficult it can be when your baby is crying as if he is in pain. It is hard for a mother to see her child in pain and as moms we try to do what we can to minimize our children’s pain. Try to remember that his digestive tract is young and immature and that he will eventually grow out of it.

There are a few things you can do in the meantime. Check your diet and make sure you aren’t eating a lot of the common foods that are known to bother babies like dairy, broccoli, garlic, onions, and chocolate. Sometimes babies are sensitive to what a mother eats. You can eliminate one kind of food at a time and see if there is an improvement in his gassiness/fussiness.

Also, you could try feeding the baby from only one side. Some babies become less gassy and fussy when they eat from one side at a time. Research has shown this to be true for some babies. When babies eat from one side they get more hindmilk and that seems to improve the problem. If your baby has bowel movements that are green and frothy it can be a sign of hindmilk/foremilk imbalance. When mothers produce large amounts of milk sometimes the baby gets full on too much foremilk and don’t get enough hindmilk. One way to remedy that, especially when feeding from both sides, is to pump a little or manually extract some milk from the first side before the baby eats to make sure the baby gets more hindmilk. Also feeding from one side per feeding can help too.

Having family to help after you have a baby can be wonderful but it can be difficult too. As hard as it may be, I would encourage you to tell grandma, “Thanks for your input, but I don’t think my milk is the problem. The doctor doesn’t either and I would appreciate it if we could agree to disagree and not talk about it anymore.” Or something like that. You could also ask your husband to talk to grandma and have him tell her that her negative comments are hurting your feelings and that it would be better for her to say positive things about your decision to nurse your baby. It might be better coming from him since it is his grandma. It sounds like she is a direct person, and often times direct people need to be spoken to directly.

Breastfeeding is such an intimate experience and it is common for mammas to be very vulnerable to negative comments. It is so important for you to have others around that support your decision to breastfeed. Hang in there and try to ignore grandma’s negativity.

Every parent will get sound tips and advice about their child’s speech and language development from Mommy Speech Therapy. I found this blog devoted to children’s language development a couple of months ago while searching for some fresh tips for my daughter’s speech delay.

Heidi, author of Mommy Speech Therapy, is a work-at-home mother of two. Through her experience as a mommy and a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, she has gained a wealth of knowledge about children’s speech and language development. She is so down to earth and her articles offer very practical advice. Heidi is very interactive with her readers’ comments and has a great question and answer section where she will answer any question you have about your child’s speech! Mommy Speech Therapy also offers free word cards available to download and print which can help with some specific sounds your child may be having a hard time pronouncing. I love how researched, organized, and easy to read her articles are! I give Mommy Speech Therapy two thumbs up!

Some of the helpful articles at Mommy Speech Therapy include:

• Treatment for Childhood Stuttering
• Reading With Your Toddler
• Many articles related to improving specific sounds (ie: r sound, th sound, k sound, etc…)
• Pacifiers and Sippy Cups and Speech Delay
• and many more!

I strongly encourage you to check out Mommy Speech Therapy! Be sure to let her know that The Mom Crowd sent you!

Regardless of your own theories about sleep and children, every parent can learn something from Dr. Marc Weissbluth’s ‘Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child’ (HSHHC). You don’t have to agree with the author on every point to learn something about healthy sleep habits for your child. This book is great resource book to read and keep on your shelf.

As the title suggests the book is about creating healthy sleep habits, so your child can be a happy child. I know I am that I am a much happier person when I get all the sleep I need. It makes sense. The book goes on to explain how to put your child to bed without crying, how much they should be sleeping, their quality of sleep, and what time they should go to bed. All things a new parent wants to know.

I learned how my child could get to an overtired state, if I don’t put her down right when she gets sleepy. It is when she reaches this overtired state that it becomes difficult for her to fall asleep on her own and she usually cries. I love it when I can find that magical moment and put my daughter down for her nap with absolutely no crying.

The author describes the cues that your child is moving into the sleep zone: becoming drowsy, decreased activity, slower motions, less vocal, sucking is weaker or slower, quieter, calmer, appears disinterested in surroundings, eyes are less focused, eyelids drooping, yawning.

The fatigue signs that your baby is entering the overtired zone: becoming overtired, fussing, rubbing eyes, irritable, and cranky (p.63).

The book also explains how many naps your child should be having and at what age. I honestly didn’t know that my daughter should have three regular naps a day. It seems like three naps a day is common knowledge among moms, but I didn’t know that. Also, the author suggests being diligent about protecting those nap times. He really encourages parents to respect their child’s sleep schedule, no matter what. There can be exceptions, but they should not be the rule.

One of the biggest lessons I learned from the book is to put my baby down to bed earlier. I tried it and it worked! The book explains that sleep begets sleep. The earlier you put your child to bed, the later they sleep. It dispels the myth that you should put them to bed later, so they will sleep in. It is hard, because my husband does not get to see much of our daughter in the evenings, but we know it is for her good. Our baby getting good sleep is just as important as her getting enough food.

The author suggests that bedtimes should be consistent and have a routine. We now have a routine with our daughter. She knows that after she gets her kisses, she is going to be laid down in her crib. I like the author’s theory that my baby cries, because she wants to play with me rather than being in a boring, dark room. It makes me feel good that my child wants to be with me.

Readers may not agree with Dr. Weissbluth Pro-Cry It Out stance. He gives parents two options to crying it out, one is gradual and one is cold turkey. The method is to correct any unhealthy sleep habits and to help establish routines. The cold turkey method could be really hard to, but supposedly has the fastest results. I am not sure if I could let my daughter cry and wail for an hour. I think you just have to know what you and your child can handle.

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