What does a SAHM do all day?
SAHM is the internet savvy way of saying “Stay-at- Home-Mom.” Stay-at-home Moms choose for many reasons to stay home with their children. For some, the costs of childcare outweigh the income made if the mom worked outside the home. Other moms are miserable working their 9-5 job and are looking for a change of pace. Other moms choose to forego the workforce so they can spend that time with their children. No matter the reason, there are millions of women who are SAHM.
Ask any SAHM and you’ll receive a laundry list of job titles she holds. Childcare worker, teacher, taxi driver, facilities manager, short-order cook, laundry attendant, janitor, counselor, CEO, entertainer, personal stylist, administrative assistant, accounting clerk, nurse, plumber, automotive mechanic, and cake decorator are only a few of her job titles.
While there is no monetary compensation or typical work benefits like 401k’s or sick leave, there are a lot of satisfying rewards in being a SAHM. The obvious include being there with your children for every milestone, boo-boo, and story time. The not so obvious (and somewhat selfish) benefits include, having breaks for yourself when the kids are napping, all day pajama days, and a more flexible schedule (unless Connor is your child, requiring you to be home for his 9:00am and 1:00pm naps because he is too cool to sleep in the car. LOL!)
The hardest part of being a SAHM for me is that I have three bosses (my husband, Darah, and Connor) who do not always synchronize their job assignments for their lowly slave me. Even with the most supportive of husbands, sometimes he will expect things of me that are just not possible depending on the mood of the day. Some days are very laid back and I’m able to shorten my to-do list. Other days are so chatoic and I’m unable to accomplish anything! These days may include a sick child, a child who won’t nap but desperately needs one, or a child who takes off his poopy diaper and smears it all over his crib. The “more flexible” schedule comes at the cost of having to be on call of untimely events.
I found this article which outlines four things every SAHM needs to know. These four things include:
- Be proud of what you do.
- Keep in touch with friends.
- Stay organized.
- Get in touch with your creative side.
What are your days like? Do you find your job as a SAHM harder or easier than when you worked?
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Being a SAHM has been an evolution for me. At first the sheer concept of it was beyond exciting. I had all these grand ideas about the day trips we’d take, the genius level activities we’d do together, the housework I’d get done….and then I became a SAHM…and I realized, most days, I am lucky if ANY of us are wearing pants. Two years later, I am a realist. I plan my outings around naps, I have accepted that lunches or dinners with the girls is now replaced by sporadic emails and 5 second phone calls, and my husband has long since accepted that I may not shower everyday. On the flip side, staying home as allowed me to focus more on my artistic side, I write during naps and paint outside when the kids are playing in the yard.
There is an adjustment period, and I think the tips you posted are dead on.
Oh, I love the tips. I may have to keep the list on a post it note in every room of the house as a reminder.
Brittany, I’m with you on the showers.
Ha ha.
Our perspectives change no matter what we’re doing. When I was a teacher, all I could think about was being at home. Now that I’m home all the time, I find myself taking it for granted. I have to remind myself often that the stresses I feel now are NOTHING compared to what it was like working in public schools.
I love being a mom. Lord, help me not to take it for granted anymore!
Most days I find way harder than when I was working, I used to be a hotel housekeeper (which pays crap which is why I quit) some days I’d rather be cleaning up after strangers than my own family, they are beyond messy! thanks for the tips! I need to write them down and remind myself of those every day I think
I find it hard doing what I am doing now. I work at our church, but only until 2 every day and I have Jackson with me at work sometimes. It’s a really relaxed atmosphere, but still a job. I am constantly watching him, making sure he isn’t too loud when people are in meetings and tending to him when he is needing something or upset. He actually came to work with me every day from 8-2 when he was only 6 weeks old!
When I do leave my job, then I go home to be a full-time mother to my 2 year old. It can be really difficult to balance at times, but I’ve really grown to love it. Even writing this, I am proud that I have handled it all.
Now, that may all change when baby #2 comes.
Being a SAHM is much harder than when I worked, but I love it! I really can’t imagine myself working while trying to raise a preschooler and baby at the same time. If the decision were up to me then I wouldn’t return to work until my last child graduates from HS (I know that will never happen)! And then I’d go get myself a PT job at Starbucks and drink lots of free iced vanilla lattes while working and bringing home 1lb. of coffee free every week!
Anyways, I have so much respect for the moms that do work while raising their kids and husband. I always look at them with admiration because they appear to be such strong women.
I love staying home with my daughter [she is 15 months]. I don’t think you can compare the two, working outside of the home or staying at home to take care of your children. How can you really say one is “easier,” you know? They both have challenges. If I were to compare, though, I’d have to say that staying at home is harder. It is literally 24/7 and you rarely get a break. It is also a true blessing, and I am very fortunate and thankful everyday!
It always seems to me that most SAHM’s say they love being at home. I don’t know if they just say that it’s worth it or really mean it. I am a SAHM of three kids 4 and under. For me, it’s a nightmare. I think it mostly has to do with my particular situation. I have no transportation and I have no friends and only limited family to help out. So imagine being at home all day with three hyper kids without going outside or having people to help. We have no yard either so they are literally in the house all day long and needless to say it gets crazy. Of course I love my kids, but I really don’t like being with them all day long. I feel like I lost myself. I want to be able to do things for me and not just be a “mom”. I think I would be a better mom if I felt more fulfilled. It use to be my dream to be a SAHM, but my opinion about it has changed. It truly is the hardest job in the world. I just wish I could find more people who have the same issues as I do.
Shawna,
As a SAHM in a country half way across the world from family, friends, and TexMex, I can sympathize. I have two young ones (4 yrs and 9 months old), and as of right now, we have no car. It’s difficult sometimes. Most days are OK, a few are great, but some leave me on the verge of tears because I just need a break, and I really don’t have anywhere to go. I can’t leave the kids at home with hubby (or even a babysitter) and speed off to the local coffee place or movie theatre, b/c they’re not in walking distance. I don’t know the intricacies of your particular situation, but I know one thing that has helped me is just making friends with my neighbors. Now that we’ve been here for several months, I know I can leave my son at his friend’s house for an hour while I have some down time (which usually involves sleeping), and she understands and doesn’t mind a bit. I miss that connection I used to have with other moms when I lived in the States, though.
That being said, it sounds like you are in a difficult transition period in your life, and I will keep you in my prayers.